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Entered another contest two weeks ago, and winners announced today. Didn't win or get honorable mention, but fun all the same. I will reveal a few each day. The words we had to use are in bold print. We were also allowed to write limericks with a vanity theme.
Pilot Joe's stories entail,
flying while drinking cocktail.
Info that comes next,
makes me more perplexed.
His flight controls are all in braille.
Aunt Kay fan of Chippendale,
Las Vegas the Holy Grail.
We gave her the answer,
she shrieked chair not dance.
Aunt roared no sale curtail.
More from contest:
Ted's not good at all job entails,
lacking skill with hammer and nails.
Finished snug little bed,
comfy pillow for head.
Coffin nails always impales.
Brad was a dancing Chippendale,
hadn't used PhD from Yale.
Career should begin,
although in the end.
Got more money wiggling tail.
Two more coming your way, the first one used the vanity theme:
Ruth wasn't careful today,
too much make up on display.
Together it clashes,
Oh no it's the lashes.
She looked like Tammy Faye.
Eldorado knight's long tale,
lifetime journey no avail.
But once under ground,
was no longer bound.
Discovered "Streets of Gold" trail.
Went on a "fractured fairy tales" riff.
Three bears hot on her trail,
would Goldilocks prevail?
With a simple lock,
or well-oiled Glock.
That's a different tale.
Call it a B and E tale,
where Goldilocks would prevail.
Got nice little snack,
and a comfy nap.
Sheets six-hundred-count percale.
Construction going on in our house, included opening a wall. What follows is the result of that.
To many flies in our new house,
buzzing by my ear she did grouse,
Need Mr. Kung **bleep**,
his chopsticks were true.
Fly swatter good enough for spouse.
Zumba greatest exercise you'll see,
movement and the music is the key.
The best thing of all,
I'm having a ball.
So fun, burning calories off me.
If you haven't tried it, highly recommend. Don't worry about the foot work, just keep moving and have fun.
Going to keep entering contests,
possessed honestly, I must confess.
Each one try a bunch,
but have a small hunch.
Fourteen entries, over top, I guess.
Okay, I'm exaggerating , will probably put in upwards of six or seven in each future limerick contest.
Originally in Technology forum under Computer Questions and Tips as a thank you to @AARPRachelA ,who in my option, a computer rock star😎.
I gave you computer zingers,
you fixed with magic fingers.
When I was in jam,
fast repair shazam.
Rachel my gratitude lingers.
Rachel is also a rock star😎 in Tea Affirmations.
A few of my limericks entered in an on-line contest that takes place every two weeks. The theme was etiquette.
Keep grunts and loud moans to a min.,
it disrupts those workouts within,
Don't drop weights you fling,
and one final thing.
Wipe all the sweats deposit you spin.
You're working off massive girth,
not in labor giving birth.
Stop the grunts and groans,
and talks on cell phones.
Some advice for what it's worth.
Hearing others eat, I truly dread,
slurped inhaled liquids, pour instead.
For solids past through lips,
lips clean off, no more drips.
When you hear others eat, not well-bred.
Entered my first limerick contest, alas, I didn't get even an honorable mention. The contest gives you three words to choose from to include in your limerick. Being an overachiever, I did three individual limericks. The word in bold print was the required word.
Careful reading of the old man's bequest,
left the wife very little, and distressed.
Her best years had swiftly past,
with grim future surely cast.
Because Rover, received all the rest.
It has been expressed, as our guest,
we have one big enforced request,
Restaurant service declined,
when your clothing is not aligned.
Includes, when completely undressed.
Young man's quest, be mentioned in will,
so he married someone old, sick and shrill.
Poison her, or cut bait,
killer her, tired of wait.
Why, that bitter old pill, left her spouse nil!
This particular contest is every two weeks, so there will be more to share in the future.
@GailL1 Thank you, very sweet. I'm going to enter every two weeks, and maybe some day . . . ( as she trailed off wistfully ) some day I will be able to post an award-winning limerick. That's the dream. Thank you for your encouragement.
There is another contest that is every two months in The Saturday Evening Post, that would be pretty cool, to be mentioned in such an iconic publication. Of course most people will say, is that magazine still around? There's a prize too, $25. So worth the blood, sweat and tears. 😄
Chips, salsa, margarita, fed the urge,
enchilada, cookie, fished the splurge.
Sugar, fat and salt,
made a big assault.
Sugar spike surge, blood sugar drop submerge.
Have to eat super clean because of multiple health issues. Yesterday was my once every couple of months splurge. Boy did I, and got up and felt all the bad food choices this morning!
1933, screen test, Fred Astaire,
said "can't act, slightly bald," about his hair,
But the final thing they said,
"can dance a little," instead,
of Fred Astaire, lighter than air, their err.
Shortly after the screen test, he was matched up with his iconic partner, Ginger Rogers. They made ten very popular movies. I don't think the initial screen test slowed down his career.
Originally on "Our Front Porch."
When it comes to tv hillbillies,
like the family of hills, Beverlies.
Jethro only one left,
worth fifty mil, some heft.
Would like residual income please.
Max Baer Jr. would need a good chunk of change to live in Beverly Hill at $1,296 per sq ft . By comparison, average price per sq. foot home in US, $123. So, the average price, at the average size ( just under 3,500 sq ft ) in Beverly Hills, a whooping $4,500,000. Max Baer, Jr. would fit in just fine. 😎
The sun is like fire in the sky,
it makes my skin feel hot and dry,
I tried to get some relief,
But the sun is a thief,
I can't get cool but I try.
The woes of a letter carrier in the summer, who couldn't wait to get back to his truck and put his face up to the fan on his dashboard. We weren't worthy of ac in our trucks. We were lucky to have a fan-with 2 whole speeds!
Steve the @postman29 Another excellent one! You earned your pension for sure!
Again, with triple digit degrees,
not even a slight hint of a breeze.
Fry eggs on the sidewalk,
isn't just idle talk.
Enjoy a margarita freeze please.
Not one of my better ones. I think the heat, really affect my writing of rhyme tonight.