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My latest contest entries, had to use loon, lune, balloon or saloon. Also could do theme of memory. Here's just a few.
New diet, have nothing past noon.
So grouchy and squawk like a loon.
I ougha just bail.
Still look like a whale.
The proof, I've been shot with harpoon!
A pizza for breakfast it's cold,
Then crease it for lunch in a fold.
A snack afternoon.
Give crust to a loon.
In jammies for dinner I'm sold.
Remember, let's keep us astute,
Protecting our brains absolute.
Just write and create,
Don't ever abate.
Or I'm kicking you square in the glute.
A genre of clothing called "jorts."
The denim we wear as our shorts.
I typically can't,
Be caught in the pant.
But my memory often distorts.
My cognition has run all amok,
Problems with language. I'm stuck.
So clearly confused,
Some perplexed, some amused.
The duck on that cluck, what the muck?
The phenomenon "tip of the tongue."
It happens with old I'm among.
Do not need an assist,
A welcoming twist.
It also occurs in the young.
My ex is named Skeet, what a cheat,
had dream I restrained both his feet.
But mem'ries subpar,
Went to trunk of my car.
It had bags that were drained of concrete.
Here is how a pretentious professor might rewrite "twinkle, twinkle, little star..."
Scintillate diminutive stellar presence,
Expatiate on your cosmological essence.
Superseding parameters of terrestrial domain,
Analogous to spangles in the empyrean plain.
Brought to my attention after my latest limerick contest that I was focusing on number of syllables, instead of the stressed and unstressed syllables. Will share what I have written, but realize I need to change my technique in contests moving forward.
What are the odds of chimpanzee,
with limerick better than me?
Send to Havana,
pay by banana.
Might get stuck in typewriter keys.
Morning caffeine in a cup key,
husband went to make my coffee.
What is arranged here,
stacked up in a tier.
A mistake heard me say toffee.
Deborah has an advance degree,
makes you think child prodigy.
But what you don't know,
doesn't really show.
She just ages backwards, kooky.
More in a few more days. Meanwhile, need to learn correct way to write traditional limericks.
A few more:
If you could enunciate please,
It would put me more at ease.
Not sure what you said,
just captured a shred.
It sounded like, "give me don-key."
There's a fascinating hierarchy,
internal honey bee colony.
Drone impregnates the queen,
strengthened from her cuisine.
Royal jelly grows best monarch-key.
All this yelling like a banshee,
a male it's really banhee.
Years of silent vow,
got to him some how.
Our best guess being a monk key.
Entered another contest two weeks ago, and winners announced today. Didn't win or get honorable mention, but fun all the same. I will reveal a few each day. The words we had to use are in bold print. We were also allowed to write limericks with a vanity theme.
Pilot Joe's stories entail,
flying while drinking cocktail.
Info that comes next,
makes me more perplexed.
His flight controls are all in braille.
Aunt Kay fan of Chippendale,
Las Vegas the Holy Grail.
We gave her the answer,
she shrieked chair not dance.
Aunt roared no sale curtail.
More from contest:
Ted's not good at all job entails,
lacking skill with hammer and nails.
Finished snug little bed,
comfy pillow for head.
Coffin nails always impales.
Brad was a dancing Chippendale,
hadn't used PhD from Yale.
Career should begin,
although in the end.
Got more money wiggling tail.
Two more coming your way, the first one used the vanity theme:
Ruth wasn't careful today,
too much make up on display.
Together it clashes,
Oh no it's the lashes.
She looked like Tammy Faye.
Eldorado knight's long tale,
lifetime journey no avail.
But once under ground,
was no longer bound.
Discovered "Streets of Gold" trail.
Went on a "fractured fairy tales" riff.
Three bears hot on her trail,
would Goldilocks prevail?
With a simple lock,
or well-oiled Glock.
That's a different tale.
Call it a B and E tale,
where Goldilocks would prevail.
Got nice little snack,
and a comfy nap.
Sheets six-hundred-count percale.
All started with beans and livestock,
small village in collective shock.
Golden goose of tale,
never goes for sale.
What's left giant's outline in chalk
First pig used entire hay bale,
second secured sticks with his tail.
Third used solid brick,
and that did the trick.
Wolf is now fixated on quail.
Last two from recent contest:
The beautiful Cinderella,
sung enchanting acapella.
With slipper of glass,
made for the young lass.
She wasn't losing her fella.
This was probably my favorite poem from the latest contest:
Tale of Emperor's new clothes,
clever vanity written prose.
It only took youth,
and transparent truth.
for innocent lad to expose.
That's all for now. Current contest ending this Saturday, so will have more to share then.
Construction going on in our house, included opening a wall. What follows is the result of that.
To many flies in our new house,
buzzing by my ear she did grouse,
Need Mr. Kung **bleep**,
his chopsticks were true.
Fly swatter good enough for spouse.
Zumba greatest exercise you'll see,
movement and the music is the key.
The best thing of all,
I'm having a ball.
So fun, burning calories off me.
If you haven't tried it, highly recommend. Don't worry about the foot work, just keep moving and have fun.
Going to keep entering contests,
possessed honestly, I must confess.
Each one try a bunch,
but have a small hunch.
Fourteen entries, over top, I guess.
Okay, I'm exaggerating , will probably put in upwards of six or seven in each future limerick contest.
Originally in Technology forum under Computer Questions and Tips as a thank you to @AARPRachelA ,who in my option, a computer rock star😎.
I gave you computer zingers,
you fixed with magic fingers.
When I was in jam,
fast repair shazam.
Rachel my gratitude lingers.
Rachel is also a rock star😎 in Tea Affirmations.
A few of my limericks entered in an on-line contest that takes place every two weeks. The theme was etiquette.
Keep grunts and loud moans to a min.,
it disrupts those workouts within,
Don't drop weights you fling,
and one final thing.
Wipe all the sweats deposit you spin.
You're working off massive girth,
not in labor giving birth.
Stop the grunts and groans,
and talks on cell phones.
Some advice for what it's worth.
Hearing others eat, I truly dread,
slurped inhaled liquids, pour instead.
For solids past through lips,
lips clean off, no more drips.
When you hear others eat, not well-bred.
Entered my first limerick contest, alas, I didn't get even an honorable mention. The contest gives you three words to choose from to include in your limerick. Being an overachiever, I did three individual limericks. The word in bold print was the required word.
Careful reading of the old man's bequest,
left the wife very little, and distressed.
Her best years had swiftly past,
with grim future surely cast.
Because Rover, received all the rest.
It has been expressed, as our guest,
we have one big enforced request,
Restaurant service declined,
when your clothing is not aligned.
Includes, when completely undressed.
Young man's quest, be mentioned in will,
so he married someone old, sick and shrill.
Poison her, or cut bait,
killer her, tired of wait.
Why, that bitter old pill, left her spouse nil!
This particular contest is every two weeks, so there will be more to share in the future.
@GailL1 Thank you, very sweet. I'm going to enter every two weeks, and maybe some day . . . ( as she trailed off wistfully ) some day I will be able to post an award-winning limerick. That's the dream. Thank you for your encouragement.
There is another contest that is every two months in The Saturday Evening Post, that would be pretty cool, to be mentioned in such an iconic publication. Of course most people will say, is that magazine still around? There's a prize too, $25. So worth the blood, sweat and tears. 😄
Chips, salsa, margarita, fed the urge,
enchilada, cookie, fished the splurge.
Sugar, fat and salt,
made a big assault.
Sugar spike surge, blood sugar drop submerge.
Have to eat super clean because of multiple health issues. Yesterday was my once every couple of months splurge. Boy did I, and got up and felt all the bad food choices this morning!
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