AARP Hearing Center
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Since Nancy Pelosi will no longer be Speaker fo the House, she's forced to give up her private jet to make those trips from Washington,D.C. to San Fransico.
She'll now be flying South West, because "bags fly free." 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
According to the TSA, they don't grope, they do "Freedom pats".
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
I've entered the snap dragon part of my life.... Part of me has snapped, and the rest of me is draggin' 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
the snap dragon part of my life.... a good one
lol
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A little old lady walks up to the airline desk clerk. "Can I help you ma'am?" the clerk asks.
"Oh, I'm not flying anywhere," she replies. "I'm just here for the pat down."
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
What do you call a deer with one eye?
ans: I have no eye deer.
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
That's,good old MaxineMy secret for great stuffing
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A tough old cowboy from south Texas counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.... 
The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103 when he died.
He left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren, and a 15 ft. hole where the crematorium used to be.
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
THANKSGIVING ACCORDING TO MAXINE:
When making Thanksgiving dinner, do your giblets end up in the gravy?
Or do you wear a bra when you cook?
If you get up early and go Christmas shopping on Black Friday, you can save a ton of money. Of course, if you roll over and say. Screw shopping this year, you can save even more." 
This year we're having a stress-free Thanksgiving dinner. I stuffed the turkey with prozac. 
The only difference between a plague of ocusts and my relatives is that the locusts don't hang around and watch TV after the food is gone.
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
I love Thanksgiving , it's the only day when big thighs are a good thing.
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Bonnie eek yor not on are side lol
22. You can buy a silencer for a gun !
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
TOP 10 REASONS WHY MEN PREFER GUNS OVER WOMEN...
10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
3. A gun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
And the number one reason why men prefer guns to women...........
1. You can buy a silencer for a gun !
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber..
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Bob."
Bob was stunned. "I'm dead?" No ! I can't be! I've got too much to live for, send me back!"
St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."
Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him back to a farm near his home...The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past..."So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day?"
"Not bad," replied Bob to the hen. "But I have this strange feeling inside, like I'm gonna explode."
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?"
"Never," said Bob.
"Well, just relax and let it happen.' says the rooster, "It's no big deal."
Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg...his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell...
"BOB, WAKE UP!!! YOU JUST Sh** THE BED !"
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn lmbo
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day, when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere tractor.
Buttocks clenched, Billy Bob performs a slow piroutte and gently slides off first the right strap of his overhalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward in a classic striptease move, he lets his overalls fall down to his hips revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Grabbing both sides of his shirt he rips it apart to reveal his stained tee shirt underneath.. With a final flourish he tears the tee shirt from his body and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck are you doing, Billy Bob?"
"Jeez, Cletus, ya scared the snot out of me!" exclaimed Billy Bob. Then, obviously embarrassed, he says, "Me and the old lady been having trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested I do something to a tractor." 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Burma Shave- lol
I haven't been able to sign-in
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