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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Blondes be like.............

 

"I saw your phone. Who the hell is Amber alert ??" 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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HEIDI.....       noun...greeting.

 

HIRE YEW.....  Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usuage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

 

BARD... verb. Past tense of "to borrow". Usuage:  "My brother bard my pickup truck."

 

JAWJUH... noun. "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." 

CAPITAL:   HOT-LANTA.

 

MUNTS.... noun. "I ain't herd from him in munts."

 

FAR..... noun. "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."     Smiley Surprised

 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

 

 

My doctor grabbed me by my wallet and said, "Cough!"

 

 

 

The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami."

 

She said, "We can't do that !"

 

I told her, "You did it last week. " 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 455 of 2,655

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you? "

 

The Lord replies, "A minute."

 

Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"

 

The Lord replies, "A penny."

 

Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"

 

The Lord replies, "In a minute."  Smiley Wink

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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 MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY :

 

PIKACHU

 

 

"I took my wife to the shoe store. I was tired so I said, "Hurry up and pikachu!" 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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A coupl in a nusing home announced that they were getting a divorce after 75 years of marriage. The Chaplain was sent to their apartment to counsel them. "Oh, we've been meaning to do this for years. We were just waiting for the children to die."

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"

 

Artie said, "I would like them to say he was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

 

Eugene commented, " I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."

 

Al said, " I'd like them to say.... " Look, he's moving!" 

 

 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Women and cats will do as they please...

 

And men and dogs should relax and get used to it.

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Thanks Billy.... have a great day.

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