WE ARE SORRY for your loss 💛

[Winter2025VA]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief Team  🤗

[Winter2025VA]

When to get help!

Some people need additional support to overcome the aftermath of grief and loss. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or a sign that you're losing control.

If you experience any of the following issues for more than five weeks, you should see a mental health professional:

[1] You feel numb or empty and don't know how to cope with your feelings.

[2] You don't have many friends or relatives that you can talk to 

[3] You are self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling.

[Winter2025VA]

Stay occupied: Find new hobbies or activities to give your mind a rest, but balance them with rest and self-care.

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👋‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  WELCOME!!!

While WE cannot bring back YOUR luv one, we do UNDERSTAND.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Why?

We too have lost luv ones and together we have "muddled" through the best we can.

Our Welcome Mat is ALWAYS there for YOU my friend.

Grief Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[Winter2025VA]

The best way to deal with grief involves honoring your feelings, prioritizing self-care (sleep, nutrition, gentle movement), maintaining connections with supportive people, establishing simple routines, and being patient with your unique, cyclical healing process, while avoiding excessive alcohol or drugs. Don't rush or compare your grief; allow yourself to feel, distract when needed, and remember that feeling better and then worse again is normal progress. 

[Winter2025VA]

Guess what?  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

WE made it through ANOTHER day/night!!!

And yes, maybe a little bruised but WE DID IT.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌♻️‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💡‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  A Suggestion!!!

Explore YOUR area to find spots that may bring you COMFORT.

Some of us DREAD the old familiar hangouts we had with our luv ones.

Maybe one day WE will be able to visit them WITHOUT tears. But until then, EACH day maybe "act" like a TOURIST.

SO MANY possibilities out there.

SO MANY new friends to meet.

You got this!!!  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)‌

[Winter2025VA]

Quotes about grief offer comfort and perspective, often focusing on how grief is the price of love, how it changes over time, and how love continues to exist beyond loss.

[1] "Grief is the price we pay for love." - Queen Elizabeth II.

[2] "To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." - Thomas Campbell.

[3] "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." - Unknown.

[4] "Those we love don\'t go away, they walk beside us every day." - Unknown.

[5] "To have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us protection forever." - J.K. Rowling.

[Winter2025VA]

📸[.gif attached] I thought YOU may need one of these!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  My friends, KNOW that with "time" WE WILL have MORE "peaceful" moments.

Do what NEEDS TO BE DONE (funeral arrangements, eat, sleep, stay hydrated, pay bills and so on) & let the OTHER stuff WAIT until you are READY to deal with them (declutter, move or not to move and so on).

YOU GOT THIS!!!

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

📸[Attachment] I am SO SORRY for YOUR loss!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

There's no right or wrong way to grieve or to understand loss. How you grieve can be affected by many things. These include your:

[1] Culture or background.

[2] Religious or spiritual beliefs.

[3] Relationship to the person who has died.

[4] Current circumstances.

[5] Mental health.

[6] Previous experiences of grief.

[Winter2025VA]

Myth:

Grieving should last about a year.

Fact:

There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.

[Winter2025VA]

ARE YOU NEW TO OUR FORUM [Grief & Loss]?  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[1] You can either create a NEW POST or JOIN another post created by another member to share YOUR JOURNEY.

[2] IF you need help with anything on THIS SITE, you can "reply" to this post or send me a PM (AARP Private Message).

[3] WE have ALL been "new" at some point & this site can be a "challenge" to use.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

Good morning Nicole:

I have monitored your comments for quite some time, never considering to join in but enjoying the words of comfort. It’s now entering another year

( 2 years this March ) of enduring a loss after 53 years I did not, and still don’t  think my heart will stop aching every day.

I found this poem awhile back and fell in love with the words. Please forgive  my editing.

Wife, Mother, Grandmother
June 13, 1951 - March 20, 2024
       GOD’S GIFT TO ME

"I'll lend you for a little while
a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love while she lives,
and mourn her when she's dead.

It may be ten or twenty years -
or seventy-two or three.
But will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me ?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
but should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,
since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's loves,
I have chosen you.

Now will you give her all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
to take her back again ?

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
the risk of grief we’ll run.

We'll shelter her with tenderness,
we'll love her while we may.
And for the happiness we've known,
forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for her
much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand !

This poem was rewritten with a heavy heart
Farewell my love, we shall meet again.

[SereneSeagull]

That was beautiful.

[WebWiseWoman]

Bill, thank you for your endearing post!

My "dad" passed 15-Apr-1983; my SIL and I were both pregnant with those who became his first granddaughter and grandson, 1 day apart that November.

Both had minor birth defects our OB felt were due to the trauma of his loss...

Now, here we are, 40+ years later and I miss him just as much. I experience things through his eyes so many times; I feel his love of people and his anger at injustice... I hope these never leave me.

Thank you, again, for your thoughtful and heart-felt post!

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Denese @WebWiseWoman , thank you SO MUCH for stopping by to "support" OUR Bill @BillD916633 !!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear Bill @BillD916633 , I am sorry for your loss dear friend!!!

And thanks for sharing this poem.

Yes, losing them is NOT something we planned on & it is SO HARD to go on WITHOUT them. 😭

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

@Winter2025VA @SereneSeagull @WebWiseWoman 

Thank all of you for your kind words. It’s people like you who make me believe things will eventually work out given time.

God bless you 

I would like to share a letter my very young grandson wrote to his grandma

Luke's message to grandma 

love you with all my heart I am so sad that you have passed you were my favorite I love you so much I am so happy for you that you have lived the best life possible and that you get to see you dad and mom in heaven and all your sins forgive rest in peice love you forever and ever with all my heart

Sincerely

Your Mini Mark

[Winter2025VA]

Bill @BillD916633 , are you related to Lucy @rednexsrus ?

I was confused as you posted using that username then deleted.

I notice you have re-posted the same material using your username.

Anyway, thanks for your touching post.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

So sorry for the confusion, rednexsrus has been a great friend and I was using her laptop when I logged in to AARP. I quickly learned my error and deleted that post and reposted under my own login

[Winter2025VA]

Dear Bill @BillD916633 , it is okay. Thanks for explaining. Please tell Lucy I said hello.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SereneSeagull]

Living the best life possible.  That’s the best part of that letter to me.  Appreciating what truly matters, knowing that person lived happy and made the life they were given the best possible.  I think that’s what we all want for our loved ones, knowing they were happy and smiling in life makes us happy too!

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  ONE STEP may mean making sure YOU EAT today/tonight.

Sometimes OUR interest in food is gone along with the energy to face EACH day/night.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👥‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌    It is OKAY to "hide" on those days/nights when YOU FEEL unable to deal with people.

With time YOU WILL be able to get out, spend time with family/friends.

Just let THEM KNOW and those who REALLY CARE will "respect" this much needed "time away" = they will still REACH OUT, but with NO pressure to see them (or talk to them).

I luv those THINKING ABOUT YOU texts from caring folks in my life.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)‌‌

[Winter2025VA]

Myth:

The pain will go away faster if you ignore it

Fact:

Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

[Winter2025VA]

Myth:

It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact:

Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

[Winter2025VA]

Myth:

If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact:

Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.