WE ARE SORRY for your loss 💛

[Winter2025VA]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief Team  🤗

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear Mark @MarkD524822 , hang in there dear friend!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  My friends, KNOW that with "time" WE WILL have MORE "peaceful" moments.

Do what NEEDS TO BE DONE (funeral arrangements, eat, sleep, stay hydrated, pay bills and so on) & let the OTHER stuff WAIT until you are READY to deal with them (declutter, move or not to move and so on).

YOU GOT THIS!!!

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

📸[Attachment] I am SO SORRY for YOUR loss!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

There's no right or wrong way to grieve or to understand loss. How you grieve can be affected by many things. These include your:

[1] Culture or background.

[2] Religious or spiritual beliefs.

[3] Relationship to the person who has died.

[4] Current circumstances.

[5] Mental health.

[6] Previous experiences of grief.

[Winter2025VA]

Myth:

Grieving should last about a year.

Fact:

There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.

[Winter2025VA]

ARE YOU NEW TO OUR FORUM [Grief & Loss]?  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[1] You can either create a NEW POST or JOIN another post created by another member to share YOUR JOURNEY.

[2] IF you need help with anything on THIS SITE, you can "reply" to this post or send me a PM (AARP Private Message).

[3] WE have ALL been "new" at some point & this site can be a "challenge" to use.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

Good morning Nicole:

I have monitored your comments for quite some time, never considering to join in but enjoying the words of comfort. It’s now entering another year

( 2 years this March ) of enduring a loss after 53 years I did not, and still don’t  think my heart will stop aching every day.

I found this poem awhile back and fell in love with the words. Please forgive  my editing.

Wife, Mother, Grandmother
June 13, 1951 - March 20, 2024
       GOD’S GIFT TO ME

"I'll lend you for a little while
a child of mine," He said.
"For you to love while she lives,
and mourn her when she's dead.

It may be ten or twenty years -
or seventy-two or three.
But will you, till I call her back,
take care of her for me ?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
but should her stay be brief,
You'll have her lovely memories
as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,
since all from earth return;
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over
in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's loves,
I have chosen you.

Now will you give her all your love,
nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
to take her back again ?

I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done!
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
the risk of grief we’ll run.

We'll shelter her with tenderness,
we'll love her while we may.
And for the happiness we've known,
forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for her
much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
and try to understand !

This poem was rewritten with a heavy heart
Farewell my love, we shall meet again.

[SereneSeagull]

That was beautiful.

[WebWiseWoman]

Bill, thank you for your endearing post!

My "dad" passed 15-Apr-1983; my SIL and I were both pregnant with those who became his first granddaughter and grandson, 1 day apart that November.

Both had minor birth defects our OB felt were due to the trauma of his loss...

Now, here we are, 40+ years later and I miss him just as much. I experience things through his eyes so many times; I feel his love of people and his anger at injustice... I hope these never leave me.

Thank you, again, for your thoughtful and heart-felt post!

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Denese @WebWiseWoman , thank you SO MUCH for stopping by to "support" OUR Bill @BillD916633 !!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear Bill @BillD916633 , I am sorry for your loss dear friend!!!

And thanks for sharing this poem.

Yes, losing them is NOT something we planned on & it is SO HARD to go on WITHOUT them. 😭

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

@Winter2025VA @SereneSeagull @WebWiseWoman 

Thank all of you for your kind words. It’s people like you who make me believe things will eventually work out given time.

God bless you 

I would like to share a letter my very young grandson wrote to his grandma

Luke's message to grandma 

love you with all my heart I am so sad that you have passed you were my favorite I love you so much I am so happy for you that you have lived the best life possible and that you get to see you dad and mom in heaven and all your sins forgive rest in peice love you forever and ever with all my heart

Sincerely

Your Mini Mark

[Winter2025VA]

Bill @BillD916633 , are you related to Lucy @rednexsrus ?

I was confused as you posted using that username then deleted.

I notice you have re-posted the same material using your username.

Anyway, thanks for your touching post.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[BillD916633]

So sorry for the confusion, rednexsrus has been a great friend and I was using her laptop when I logged in to AARP. I quickly learned my error and deleted that post and reposted under my own login

[Winter2025VA]

Dear Bill @BillD916633 , it is okay. Thanks for explaining. Please tell Lucy I said hello.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SereneSeagull]

Living the best life possible.  That’s the best part of that letter to me.  Appreciating what truly matters, knowing that person lived happy and made the life they were given the best possible.  I think that’s what we all want for our loved ones, knowing they were happy and smiling in life makes us happy too!

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  ONE STEP may mean making sure YOU EAT today/tonight.

Sometimes OUR interest in food is gone along with the energy to face EACH day/night.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

[1/1/26] HAPPY New Year AARP Sandy @sandy !!!

*** Thank you SO MUCH for "creating" this forum for us.

HAPPY New Year AARP Experts Jane @JaneCares & Amy @agoyer!!!

*** Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by when you can to "support" us.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

WE made it through 2025, some days NOT knowing how to do this.

But TOGETHER we are here in 2026, stronger and determined.

Thank you SO MUCH guys for your support of OUR wonderfully "caring" team.

So hats off to 2026 = WE ARE READY for whatever it brings.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗💛

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🔚  OUR LIFE SEASONS [a time of changes]!!!

Just like the WEATHER has seasons, so do WE.

(1) There is a season to lay low & heal WHILE we "recover" from OUR LOSS. Yes, a VERY ROUGH season indeed.

(2) There is a season to "maybe" WELCOME our NEW life = accepting our loss & figuring out things. WE all have "different" times in the LAY LOW season. NEVER feel "guilty" for taking YOUR TIME with all this.

(3) There is a season I guess we can call it one where WE ARE FINALLY "smiling" again. Oh yes, that will happen when WE least expect it. Yes, WE will still have our "tears" but with TIME, we will be ABLE to find some PEACE in the midst of our grieving.

(4) Last season, I guess it is one where we are PACKING UP OUR OLD LIFE after making sure it is the right time to do so. WE always "need" to make sure WE are "moving on" in a way that WORKS FOR US. That may involve saying "goodbye" to an area we have loved and had MANY years in. Sometimes MOVING "closer" to OUR "support" (family) is what is best. On the other hand, some of us "choose" to STAY PUT. The important thing is to do things YOUR WAY.

Grief Team ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[d54062e]

My Mom passed away December 3  2025. She was 90 and her health issues became more then her body could deal with. So many signs were there she was on her journey to heaven.  The last few days of her life on earth gave us some sort of comfort as we saw her giggle as she entered the gates of heaven. Hospice said this does happen, as Mom was being greeted by her loved ones. I'm at peace as this was her journey to heaven,  but my heart wants my Mom back with me. 

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  @d54062e , I am so sorry for your loss dear friend!!!

Yes, we know they are in a place of peace and luv, but we still MISS them. 😥

I am ALWAYS here for you.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

---

@d54062e wrote:

My Mom passed away December 3  2025. She was 90 and her health issues became more then her body could deal with. So many signs were there she was on her journey to heaven.  The last few days of her life on earth gave us some sort of comfort as we saw her giggle as she entered the gates of heaven. Hospice said this does happen, as Mom was being greeted by her loved ones. I'm at peace as this was her journey to heaven,  but my heart wants my Mom back with me. 

---

[Xheved]

Can't eat, can't sleep, even having a hard time masking and moving ... Been following "fake it till ya make it" for my working girl daughter, but she's smarter than that.

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear @Xheved , thank you for stopping by!!!

Wishing you "peace" for your journey and WE are ALWAYS here for you.

Snacking has helped me as I "work on" eating HEALTHY.

Junk Food had become my MEALS & was NOT "helping" me to feel better.

NOT where I NEED to be as yet, but EACH day/night I make an "effort" to SIT DOWN for at least ONE MEAL. This "encourages" me to get my "veggies" in.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

---

@Xheved wrote:

Can't eat, can't sleep, even having a hard time masking and moving ... Been following "fake it till ya make it" for my working girl daughter, but she's smarter than that.

---

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🕯  GROUP DISCUSSION!!!

What helps you while at home alone and thinking too much about the "void" you are feeling (missing person you "care" about)?

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌➡️‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌[*** ME. Usually I am NOT a "radio" person, but had heard of others using it to get through the "silence" (person NO longer there to talk to).

Well, it is working!

Sometimes I "listen" to a song or program. May even "smile or dance".

Other times, it is just "background" noise.

[SereneSeagull]

So I’m replying Nicole, cuz I see that’s ok. 

 so for me when I’m alone and the thought of my loved one comes up as it did last night when I needed support, what helped me was to dance.  Knowing that today is another day, and I’ll be with my friends today, and Zumba-ing my behind off.  Getting those very sad feeling out.

The songs and the dance can help indeed.

[SereneSeagull]

Well got through another Thanksgiving without the members of my family I lost.  Very small gathering of football and pizza.  Drove around on a scavenger hunt to find a place even open for carry out pizza

Talked to a family member in another state, and they had a video going of the pictures of those who had passed, so I thought that was nice.  Wish I could’ve been with them.  

I was feeling the grief a lot last night and so glad there are others that know how hard the holidays are.  Today is a new day, until Christmas, but I got through.  One day at a time is all we can do, right?

[LisaS961881]

    I am so grateful that my notifications haven’t been working lately because I just discovered your post.  I wanted to reach out to let you know how I, and I am certain many others, appreciated how honestly you expressed your experience with us.

   I wanted to share that we too either watch a video, pass around photos, or simply contribute a fond memory of those who have passed to everyone present at our gathering.   At times, of course, the tears flow and the pain can be gut-wrenching, but we all feel not only a small bit of comfort, but also that we have celebrated the lives of those we miss.

Yes, today is a new day, and we all do our best to muddle through this.

[SereneSeagull]

Thank you Lisa.  Hardest part for me was last year, as my father had told me for years that I was the person in charge of estate, so the grieving process had to be put to the side somewhat so I could take care of everything that needed to be done.  

This year it hit me hard at Thanksgiving.  I didn’t think it would and took me by surprise as this year at the last moment my spouses family member was hospitalized.  So the Turkey day turned into a very unconventional evening with my own family household trying to put together something like takeout pizza at the last minute.

Then as we were eating, I started to miss my own parents and how hard it was this year now that both are really gone.  That’s it, just sibling and her family and me and mine. Miles apart.

Anyway, it hit me.  But yes, today is a new day.  Went to the gym met up with my friends and shared my hunt for an open pizza shop in town that hadn’t closed for our Thanksgiving meal.  And then danced the morning with friends in class. 

😊Thanks

[LisaS961881]

    I am so thankful that your friends were there to support you this morning.   …and that you danced!

     When those gut-punching moments of grief catch us totally unprepared, I am always, like you, eventually buoyed by friends, family, and memories, 

     It must have been Kismet that I just happened upon your post.  I have been an Executor twice now, and while I appreciated the trust that had been placed in me, it was a truly cumbersome responsibility, so I fully understand what you navigated at a point when you were at your most fragile.

   Again, thank you for reaching out and sharing.  You helped me.