Lost my mom

[Stephen74Utah]

10 years ago my mom had a heart attack and I started taking care of her. It's been an up and down path.  6 years ago we moved where we're at now hoping to be closer to family.  4 years ago her kidneys start to fail.  She had to start doing dialysis. On June 8th 2025 you passed away.  For the last 6 years I haven't worked I've just been taking care of her.  Now I have nothing except our cats.  I'm going to end up homeless losing everything.  By dealing with my own mental health I'm 50 years old.  I got three older brothers but they've never helped now that she's gone they just ignoring me.  I feel so lost. She wasn't just my mom she was my best friend.   She leaned on me and I leaned on her.  now I don't know how to go forward.   

[Stephen74Utah]

The grief is still bad. Still no support from 95% of my family. Still facing eviction. My anxieties, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression are still very bad.   Just me and my support cats.  My counselor does know all of this. The sickness I had was was just allergy cold. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , I was hoping you had found a "safe" place to stay dear friend.  😞

Hmmm, NO pressure to reply, but wondering why you have NOT told your counselor?

I had my 1st session with my Counselor. NOT dealing well with getting old at age 67.

SO GLAD, it is an allergy!!!

Try to enjoy the 5% Family Support. Glad you have a few supporters.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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@Stephen74Utah wrote:

The grief is still bad. Still no support from 95% of my family. Still facing eviction. My anxieties, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression are still very bad.   Just me and my support cats.  My counselor does know all of this. The sickness I had was was just allergy cold. 

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[Stephen74Utah]

The counselor does know everything.   

[Stephen74Utah]

I'm saying a counselor and a job counselor to try to find something but times already run out.  And I only have one friend and he can't help me.  Just going to come down to the fact that I'm going to get evicted and me and my cats will be evicted and homeless.  Kind of hard to get work when you're dealing with depression anxiety panic attacks PTSD I'm trying to get my disability but I've been denied three times already it takes time to appeal again.  

[JaneCares]

Hey StephenM! SpringIsHere has great ideas.  You are in a raw, scared place, and I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you. Depression tells lies: it tells you that there's no hope, no pathway out. What i know, also, is that you are grieving: even if you had plenty of money and friends, you'd be suffering the loss of your beloved mother very deeply.  I'm glad you have a counselor. Is he or she part of an agency? Ask if they offer peer support, and/or case management, to help with applications for aid, while you're looking for work. Disability from Social Security is tougher than ever to get now, and I hope you can look for work even while you're appealing the denial. Your mother loved you SO MUCH, and wants you to survive and thrive. 50 is young! So much energy still to enjoy and move forward. It is totally okay and normal to crawl into a ball with your cats for a chunk of time each day. And then, you can move around the place, see if there's anything needs doing. If you don't go to a church now but you're comfortable with the idea of going, consider joining one, as often they are very supportive places, and you'd meet people. One idea. Keep posting here. We'll brain storm with you. Hang in there!

Jane

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen, WE hope you will stop by to see us AGAIN.

Grief & Loss Team  💛

@Stephen74Utah 

[Stephen74Utah]

Hi

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , does your counselor know you are going to be evicted? Maybe they may be able to "refer" you for help with this. Emergency Shelter is what it is called in my state.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Stephen74Utah]

Yeah the counselor knows we've already signed up for section 8 and for emergency housing assistance but until I received the eviction notice they said they really can't help a whole lot. I'm still trying to see if I can also find work.  But I'm also dealing with being sick for the last week I haven't recovered from that either.   

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , have you been able to see a doctor? I hope so! NOT feeling well while grieving & worrying is awful. I hope you feel better soon. Just so you know I have a cat by the name of Mister. Furbabies KNOW when we need some luv. Luv on yours Stephen, they are also missing your mom.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Stephen74Utah]

I have two ones name is Goldie and the other's name is bandit they're my babies and my support animals.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , how are Goldie  🐈  & Bandit  🐈?  My cat Mister  🐈  sends his luv to them!!!

And how are you AT THE MOMENT my friend?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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@Stephen74Utah wrote:

I have two ones name is Goldie and the other's name is bandit they're my babies and my support animals.  

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[Stephen74Utah]

They're doing good my cat Bandit is sleeping on my Mom's chair and and my cat Goldie she's sleeping in my mom's closet.   😂

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Lol Stephen @Stephen74Utah !!!  🤣😂

Cats are very "interesting" indeed.

When do you see your Counselor(s) again?

Do you feel "ready" to maybe do a Job from Home?

I see mine for this month's session on the 21st.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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@Stephen74Utah wrote:

They're doing good my cat Bandit is sleeping on my Mom's chair and and my cat Goldie she's sleeping in my mom's closet.   😂

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[Stephen74Utah]

I have to schedule an appointment hopefully soon.  The truth is I'm not ready for work but I don't really have much of a choice.  So far everything I have tried has failed so as it stands unless something miraculous happens I'm going to have to be out of here soon.    Oh well I guess it's a chance for a new beginning.   

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah they NEED YOU = your reason to carry on my friend. Lol, Mister does NOT care how busy I am - he DEMANDS his "cuddle" sessions.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Good Morning Stephen!!!

How are YOU doing dear friend?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

@Stephen74Utah 

[Stephen74Utah]

I'm doing okay today still dealing with being sick.   It's getting better.   I think I gave the fur babies too much love.   They're both completely zonked out.    Still no one in my family is talking to me like I did something wrong or something.   10 years of taking care of my mom with no one helping me or no one offering to help.  And now they just totally ignore exist.   That's one of the hardest things.   

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , how often are you meeting with your Counselors? With your illness, have you seen your doctor?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Stephen74Utah]

Right now I'm seeing the counselor once a week.  I need to make an appointment to see my doctor.  It's been a few months.   I have to do my yearly anyways.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , any plans for July 4th?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Stephen74Utah]

I was invited on my nephew and his wife for a barbecue. I'm going to go because it'll get me out of the apartment.    

[SummerOnTheWay1]

I am glad they invited you Stephen @Stephen74Utah & you are going!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Good morning Stephen @Stephen74Utah  , how are you AT THE MOMENT dear friend?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Stephen74Utah]

My mental health is not good today. My mind has been in a very dark place all morning. Tried to find other resources that might help me but they keep falling through. I even called social security and the representative there actually took the time to search to see if there was anything that could help me but there wasn't.   If it wasn't for my support kitty cats. I would have already given up. I'm just so tired. I just don't know what to do.    

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[8/11 @Stephen74Utah  ]

Stephen, YES, worrying about possibly becoming homeless is VERY STRESSFUL!!!

I was homeless for 13 months right before I turned 60. I am now 67 & still worry about it happening AGAIN.

Like you, my cat & only child is what keeps me getting up EVERY DAY. Hug them & talk to them dear friend. Lol, cats certainly have their moments of letting us "hug" them. And Mister luvs to "talk" to me. With my only child being in another state, he has SAVED me from myself.

Okay, now back to YOU!!!  💛

[1] Do you have access to the internet? IF yes, Google YOUR AREA for Shelters For Men. I stayed in a Rescue Mission for 13 very long months. While there, I found a job, saved for a car & to move into my Studio Apt. And WITHOUT any help from the system. I DIDNOT "qualify" for any Housing Assistance or handouts. Lol, the $5,000.00 I saved went FAST by the time I received the keys to my apt in 2018. Still in it.

[2] The MAIN thing will be WHERE your two cats will go IF you get EVICTED "before" you find ANOTHER "safe" roof over your head. Here where I am, the LOCAL Animal Rescue will "foster" pets for people until they can take them back = AVOIDING having to surrender them. Maybe there is such a place in YOUR AREA. Maybe Google for the Animal Services or Animal Rescue.

I am here ALWAYS dear friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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➡️[*** STEPHEN @Stephen74Utah wrote:

My mental health is not good today. My mind has been in a very dark place all morning. Tried to find other resources that might help me but they keep falling through. I even called social security and the representative there actually took the time to search to see if there was anything that could help me but there wasn't.   If it wasn't for my support kitty cats. I would have already given up. I'm just so tired. I just don't know what to do.    

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[SummerOnTheWay1]

[Wednesday 8/13/25]

Stephen, stop by when you "feel" up to chatting. I luv hearing from you my friend.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

@Stephen74Utah @SummerOnTheWay1 

[Stephen74Utah]

Well things got a little worse. Sunday night a person dropped off a court summons my mental health kind of exploded. Then on Monday I called the court and they said to call the lawyer.  Basically the lawyer told me including their legal fees I need to come up with basically $2,500 both this week and next week to settle everything.   I don't remember much after that I just remember hearing the phone ring and I was laying on the floor with a plastic bag over my head having a hard time breathing.   I answered the phone it was a police officer I guess I must have said something to the lawyer before I hung up and he called The authority.  That day I talked to a crisis counselor and then the next day I talked to my regular counselor.   I'm kind of on the edge right now lost and I don't know what to do anymore.    

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , I am COPYING our AARP Experts Amy @agoyer and Jane @JaneCares so maybe they may have a solution for you dear friend.

NO pressure to respond.

[1] Is this to do with an "eviction"?

[2] Someone NEEDS to help here.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** STEPHEN 

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@Stephen74Utah wrote:

Well things got a little worse. Sunday night a person dropped off a court summons my mental health kind of exploded. Then on Monday I called the court and they said to call the lawyer.  Basically the lawyer told me including their legal fees I need to come up with basically $2,500 both this week and next week to settle everything.   I don't remember much after that I just remember hearing the phone ring and I was laying on the floor with a plastic bag over my head having a hard time breathing.   I answered the phone it was a police officer I guess I must have said something to the lawyer before I hung up and he called The authority.  That day I talked to a crisis counselor and then the next day I talked to my regular counselor.   I'm kind of on the edge right now lost and I don't know what to do anymore.    

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[Stephen74Utah]

Yes basically they sent me to the lawyer and they want July's rent plus the late fee and then August plus the late fee and now the lawyers fee. I am trying to get things done get in contact with other things but I'm kind of overloaded right now... I've had a mental disability in my whole life. Comprehension, learning, dyslexia, probably a few other things I didn't know about when I was a kid.   But another one is when people throw too much at me my mind gets overloaded. l'll be 51 this year. You try not to let your problems or your disabilities or anything like that stop you.  one day at a time.