👍 Encouragement!!!

[Winter2024]

🔽*** See posts BELOW ***🔽

[Winter2024]

Dear sweet Cadee, YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!! One that has INSPIRED me. Today has been rough for you dear friend. I hope you feel better SOON. You took care of hubbie and now your heart doctor needs to see you. Yes, we as caregivers DO NOT take of ourselves only to fall apart when our luv one is gone. You REMAIN in my thoughts, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

 Update:  AGAIN called to see if Referral Letter received.  It was NOT even though my doctor faxed it on July 12!!   Asked to speak to a Supervisor.  She called me this morning and said she does not understand why it is taking me so long to get an appointment and why the "run around".  She mentioned that their FAX machine is a "hit or miss" (just what one would want at a medical facility right?).  She gave me her FAX number and I forwarded it on to my cardiologist who has been so kind and helpful to me.  Keep your fingers crossed........hopefully this FAX will work and I will get the appointment soon.  I feel bad for the elderly that do not have the time, patience and means to remain diligent in attempting to get the medical care that they need and deserve.  Looking back on my career, I now think I would have loved to have served as an advocate for the elderly.  

[mc6844]

Cadee, I hope it all works out with what you're dealing with. I wonder if these days all the technology makes appointments, messages etc all the more time consuming and confusing. I hope being in your new environment helps somewhat and relieves the stress. You're taking care of your health and that's important. 

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee @Cadee2719  I am really hoping that the supervisor's FAX number works so your FAX can be received! After you have experienced all of these healthcare frustrations, it does cause you to look at things differently. I'm sure you would have been a terrific advocate for the elderly! Ahhhh hindsight!

Marcy

[Winter2024]

Cadee @Cadee2719 , you still can do this!!! You are NEVER TOO OLD to help others my friend.

I AM SO SORRY you are going through this.  😤😤😤

I am VERY CONCERNED about your heart and pain.  😭😭😭

Yes, as we AGE it is like we have been put out to pasture.

Shame on America.

Other cultures (NOT all) take care of their old.

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** CADEE wrote: Update:  AGAIN called to see if Referral Letter received.  It was NOT even though my doctor faxed it on July 12!!   Asked to speak to a Supervisor.  She called me this morning and said she does not understand why it is taking me so long to get an appointment and why the "run around".  She mentioned that their FAX machine is a "hit or miss" (just what one would want at a medical facility right?).  She gave me her FAX number and I forwarded it on to my cardiologist who has been so kind and helpful to me.  Keep your fingers crossed........hopefully this FAX will work and I will get the appointment soon.  I feel bad for the elderly that do not have the time, patience and means to remain diligent in attempting to get the medical care that they need and deserve.  Looking back on my career, I now think I would have loved to have served as an advocate for the elderly.  ***]

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[mc6844]

I agree, Nicole. 

[Cadee2719]

 Good Morning All:  Nicole thank you so much for your words of support.  Today, I will AGAIN begin the phone calls to get a "referral" to St. Luke's for medical care.  While I am Thankful for the appointment I received with the rheumatologist in November, I am still struggling to get an appointment with the cardiologist.  I dread the fact that I also need to get appointments with a family doctor and diabetes doctor.  I am hoping (but know better) that this won't take me months to accomplish as I am running out of medications.   Spoke to my brother and in order to lift my spirits, he suggested reading  Imagine the God in Heaven,  Author John Burke   As I said previously; losing our loved ones is difficult but dealing with all the issues thereafter is frustrating.  Diane, I have eliminated those in the family that cause me grief.  I decided that I am near the end of my life and I don't have to nor will I communicate with people that only wish to argue and cause me harm.   " I " am in control of my life and I will make choices that will eliminate stress, negative people and unhappiness in my life".    My husband will be gone two years this October, my son will be gone 2 1/2  years, and it has taken me this long to become stronger and  able to cope with the realities of daily life.  I wish for you the same.  YOU will become stronger and more confident as you heal.  Marcy I hope that you will get the migraine issue resolved.  I smile each time I read about your activities and want you to be able to continue to enjoy doing all of them.  What I love about all of you is that while going through a very difficult time in your lives, you all are out there caring about others.........including me.  ❤️

[EricC28201]

Reading these two posts about shedding toxic relationships was quite a refreshing affirmation. Thank you both @Cadee2719  & @MarcyW882921 .
The process and the resulting new perspective on human relations has been a real and transformative experience. Hopefully our understandings of 'toxic' are analogous.
Also, best wishes for constructive efforts leading to a more consistent and healthy daily routine.

[MarcyW882921]

So good to hear from you Cadee @Cadee2719 . I don't like hearing that this securing of doctors is causing you so much grief on top of the grief you already were bearing. I hope that you will find the right medical team soon so you can get the necessary treatment you need.

I so agree with your philosophy about toxic family and I extend that even further to friends and acquaintances. At this stage of life, there seems to be no reason to have negativity and toxicity in our lives that we can eliminate or avoid. Kudos to those of us who have reached success in that endeavor and encouragement to others who are developing the strength to make those decisions as they are building their new post grief life.

Hugs for all.

Marcy

[mc6844]

Our society seems so disconnected at times. I remember Margaret Mead who had answers and comfort for these social problems. I'll have to check if her writing is in ebook form. That's all I read now due to being able to enlarge print. I'm sure she has suggestions for reasoning, and coping in this modern age .

[mc6844]

Also, for me, building spiritual strength is a source of support in itself. It makes me feel not alone. And relieves anxiety about entering the next stage of the journey.

[Winter2024]

Dear Diane, my insides HURT for you as YOU deal with Stephen's family DRAMA.

As much as I wish I could be around FAMILY besides my daughter, at age 66 I am TRYING to hang in there for HER as her only parent.

So my dear sweet and strong friend FOCUS on ALL those PLANS you have now after laying the luv of your life to rest.

It is so SAD when some FAMILY are greedy and selfish. Lol, that is the MAIN REASON I have NOT returned to Florida as yet. Yes, his and mine TOXIC family except for my precious daughter. DREADING when I do.  😭😭😭

Hey, that FURBABY  🐕   is WAITING on you!!!

Mr.  🐈  sends his LUV and I do TOO.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@DianeB887812  

[DianeB887812]

Nicole,

I have been dealing with toxic family all my life. It’s why I have an aversion to conflict. But it has made me strong in other ways. I will get through this challenge. Stephen is by my side. And now I have an understanding shoulder to help me weather this , my dear Nicole. 

As to the fur baby , it could be a cat. We will see. 

[Winter2024]

Dear Jonibee, losing your husband after being his caregiver has been a challenge for you dear friend. My thoughts are with you for your upcoming surgery in September.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@jonibee 

[mc6844]

I agree , Jonibee.  I remember your posts. You've worked your way through a lot. I hope things continue to be well with you. 

[Winter2024]

[1] Dear Diane, one area that really upsets me are how our vets are treated and their family. I had one here, John who died in the VA Hospital last year. He went in and never returned home after falling. I miss my friend. YOU FIGHT to get those medical bills paid. Your husband served his country while he was alive!!!

[2] Dear Cadee, my sweet and inspiring friend. Here you are grieving the loss of your husband, brother and son and the medical system has the nerve to add more unnecessary stress to your life. YOU FIGHT to get what you need to function. Growing old is no fun when you are in pain all the time.

[3] Dear Marcy, gosh girl - those migraines need to pack up and leave. I am hoping you have been able to get some relief. Your husband and your guardian angel are reminding you to hang in there. Yes, those signs you posted about. He is not here in the physical sense but he will always be inside of you until you see him again.

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@DianeB887812 @Cadee2719 @MarcyW882921 @jonibee  

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you Nicole @Winter2024 . Yes, the migraines do need to pack up and go away. I have appointments with the acupuncturist and neurologist in the next few weeks as part of my headache self-care. I continue to see angel signs in repeating numbers and my husband appeared in a dream last night. His birthday is coming up on Saturday and he is with me.

Marcy

[DianeB887812]

I need to set the record straight. The VA has paid Every bill. It was wonderful that we could use hospitals and doctors close to home for 90% of his care. Working to get Those bills paid is more of an annoyance as the providers each have to be trained on how to work with the VA to get paid. It’s not like the regular insurance companies and it confuses them. But I repeat the VA has covered everything Stephen ever needed from day one. They are a God Sent Blessing. It’s just been a little hard on me mentally as I’m not as sharp as I need to be to keep all of it straight but it is getting close to done. I just do not want to criticize the VA. They are doing their part wonderfully. 

[Winter2024]

Ms. Idaho aka Cadee @Cadee2719  🤗🤗🤗

Dear Sweet, Strong and Luvable Friend, I know right now it seems like all h.ll has broken loose.

Yes, you FINALLY get all set up [well, kind of] in IDAHO and your body is TESTING you right now.

Here are my 2 cents  🙄  on all this:

[1] This too shall pass as long as you NEVER give up. Remember the AWFUL life you finally left behind in CALIFORNIA!!! You stuck to your goal and NEVER gave up.  💃💃💃

[2] Talk to folks you have met to see IF there are any MEDICARE ADVOCATES near you. Sorry it is SO COMPLICATED changing states with MEDICARE.  😤😤😤

I am DREADING my return to FLORIDA FROM VIRGINIA.  😭😭😭

Luv you, PROUD OF YOU my friend,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  Thank You Nicole   I am so confused as to why simply finding doctors is so complicated and is taking so long.  Is there a shortage of doctors in America?  I find that most family practice is run by an RN, ACRNP ?, MSN, Physician Assistant or Nurse Practitioner.  Believe it or not one clinic said the only person they had available to see patients was a young lady currently in college taking classes to become a nurse!!!!!  Is this what "Healthcare" in America has become?  This certainly is an issue AARP should delve into.  I will remain diligent and continue to jump through the "hoops" required to simply get an appointment to see a doctor.  I agree with you, I am fortunate to be here; a beautiful place, friendly, kind people and most importantly:  safe.   

[Winter2024]

Thank you SO MUCH for asking MC @mc6844 !!!

It is 8pm for me and SO GLAD this holiday will soon be OVER.  💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC @mc6844 wrote:

Thank you Nicole. How are you doing? ***]

[mc6844]

I agree Nicole. The holidays aren't easy. Too many memories. Now so much has changed. Right now I'm thinking a holiday from grieving could be a good idea.

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. How are you doing?

[Winter2024]

@WebWiseWoman , thank you for info.

@Therapist4u , your humor is ALWAYS welcome here.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Therapist4u]

Nicole

 Thanks 😊

[WebWiseWoman]

Hi, Nicole! Another great post!

Just a note, we (my adult daughters and I) volunteer at Veterans' Cemeteries, which involves zero stress; just helping maintain (e.g., polishing markers, picking up debris), serving as host, guide, information provider, or just placing American flags for commemorative holidays (Memorial Day, D-Day, Veterans' Day...). Strictly on an as available basis, so no set schedule unless one would prefer that.

From the National Park Service site:

"The VA manages 128 National Cemeteries in 39 States and in Puerto Rico. Volunteers are needed here to help maintain the cemeteries and the 2.9 million gravesites. For information on volunteering at National Cemeteries, visit the National Cemetery Administration's Volunteer website or contact a National Cemetery near you."

If there is one near you, this might be an option.

hth

denese

[Winter2024]

‌Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

[mc6844]

Memorial Day to me is sad in itself. So many losses for many people and families. Since my recent loss almost a year and a half ago now, I'm thinking today much of those months have passed in a blur. Some things I've done well with, other things not. At my age I know so many widows with worries. And people going through transitions. Nothing stays the same for long now. A friend told me she keeps a journal. I guess I look on the grief forum as my journal. And grateful for this place and people here. It is helpful to read through the posts on those tough days. And leave the grief and sadness, until it pops up again. I believe there's also delayed grief. When our lives were very busy and we didn't have time to go through the process. These days I'm tired of feeling like a piece of Swiss cheese!  Lol

[Winter2024]

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