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- ๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE ...
๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.
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๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.
โถ๏ธTo reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again.โ๏ธ
READ the comments and/or ADD a comment.
***A place to share and support***
Grief & Loss Team ๐ค๐ค
๐ธclipart attached๐ธ
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1 comment (Wednesday 4/3/24)
Marcy @MarcyW882921 , I use to enjoy the "heat" BEFORE my "Hot Flashes" = when I do make it back to Florida 100%, I will need a Sugar Daddy to pay my AIR CONDITIONING BILL!!!/lol ๐คฃ๐
Even here in Cave Spring, Virginia - me and my air in apartment and car are BEST FRIENDS in Summer... ๐๐๐
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Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy , Good luck with your Sugar Daddy search! I hope it works out for you very soon! ๐๐ซ
Marcy
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My husband passed away on 2/22/24 and I am having a hard time emotionally. I don't know what to do. It's like I am in a "brain fog". I need direction and I need help. Should I seek out a psychiatrist? I don't have any friends to talk to and I don't belong to any groups. I live in a tiny rural town. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you!
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I'm so sorry for your loss, Diane. The good people on this forum can help you. You can get ideas of what to do, reading how others have gotten through a major life event. If you don't feel up to in person appts, an online counselor is another source of support. And can help to identify options. Things will get better. Time takes time. Take care Diane!
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Hi @DianeE3158, I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.
- The AARP Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. โ 5 p.m. ET.
- The AARP Virtual Community Center FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun.
- Local AARP events โ Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org
- Learning Library โ Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org
- Senior Planet โ For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org
- Movies for Grownups โ Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies
- Find articles and resources from experts - Help Guide on Grief & Loss
- If you find yourself struggling with Isolation
- A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing
- Grief Support and Groups
Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you
Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral.
Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.
Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.
AARPSneed
AARP Social Response Team
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Hi, Diane -
I feel your pain - I was right where you are now but 17 years ago. But ya know what, just from what you wrote, it all came flooding back. But I am much better today and know that those painful feelings are now only sporadic but so real when I feel them I can empathize with you.
In those early days after my husband died - I could ONLY put one step in front of the other - nothing else. I had Post-It notes all over my mirror saying basic things like โbrush my teethโ, โcomb my hairโ., โshowerโ. and EAT - I lost a tremendous amount of weight; I did things that were dangerous to my wellbeing - cause I really didnโt care.
Like you, I live in a pretty rural area and really never made too many friends around the area because we worked so much. My husband and I were self-employed (38 years) and traveled a good bit in the business so we were together 24/7 pretty much. He literally was everything to me. The business pretty much went with him since it was his creativity and personhood that we marketed. So everything changed for me.
In the months that followed, I did begin to use a journal - I wrote in it but never went back to read any of it, I just let it flow out and then at about the 2-year mark, I burned it.
I tried a counselor to which I had some other dealings through the years and she thought I needed more - like an RX - so she sent me to a psychiatrist. I guess each of them helped some but mostly just by getting me out of my house - and out of me. No Rx med from the psychiatrist helped at all - the ones he prescribed just didnโt cure what was wrong with me.
I finally did reach out to a priest that had been sent our way during the last few weeks of my husbandโs life under hospice. I will say that this person was kind and listened to my words, sometimes kind of crazy words and sobs - it was a group type thing but many times, it was just him and me.
It was the anger that got to me really bad - I screamed a lot - I played music really loud to get out of my head. I drove too fast on those open country roads. I think I was on a path of self-destruction for a while.
The priest used some 12-step slogans on me and still to this day, they still apply when I get out of sorts -
H.A.L.T - never get too HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY OR TIRED - before you reach out.
ONE DAY AT A TIME - thatโs all you have to manage - thatโs after you build up from one minute at a time.
Then in 2008 I joined this board and started to do what I could to help people out with their various problems with Social Security / Medicare or other stuff to which I could relate.
I donโt remember exactly when I started to feel normal again- it just happened very slowly - I started handling other life stuff and time just marched on - but it still only takes a post like the one you made for me to remember how it was but also how I am today -
OH, I still miss him dearly and the plans that we had made for living our golden years together. But I am thankful for all those years that we had together living as a couple and doing the things we loved to do. I was 57 when my husband died.
Sure, see someone if for no other reason than just to get it out, if that is what you think you need to do -
Come here if you want to just let it out - we are just reading your comment so we donโt know how loud you are screaming them - no judgement cause those that visit this board know how it is.
But do reach out somehow, someway cause keeping it all in makes for a boil over. Time is gonna be the best healer - but it takes steps to get that time in - spend time outside of your home where you are not alone. I spent hours at the grocery store just to be around others.
My heart aches for you - Grief is a process - some say there are 5-levels: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
I donโt know - I donโt remember denial or bargaining. Just anger, depression and I guess, acceptance.
Take care of yourself as best you can. Come back to share how you are doing too.
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1 comment (Saturday 3/30/24) Chat!
HOW ARE YOU? ๐ค
Gosh, one more day for April - 2024 is "flying" by!!! ๐ฑ
April 11th will be my 1st visit with my NEW Eye Doctor for a HEALTHY EYE EXAM compliments of an Eye Organization [one time deal]. NEXT YEAR will be on me. I have two "tiny" Cataracts in each eye.
Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY ๐๐๐
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Hello! I'm thinking of all of you, too. I hope Easter brings a sense of renewal and hope to all your lives. I appreciate all your support. Each day I try to stay in the present moment as much as possible. It just makes the day go easier. I wish you all a nice day!
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5 comments (Thursday 3/28/24)
SO GOOD to hear from you Marcy @MarcyW882921 ๐๐๐
Girl, I was up ALL NIGHT and was "suppose" to get up at 7am, but kept RESETTING my 3 alarms [yes, 3/lol ๐๐คฃ]. One is a regular clock, plug in. One is my VERY OLD Android T-Mobile says I need to update ๐. And 3rd is a FREE Android Virginia gave me. They really care about their OLD FOLKS, unlike Florida.
Anyway, FINALLY got up at 8am and of course SHOULD have left at 8:30am for 9am appointment. It was 8:45am!!! ๐ฑ
GRATEFUL, no accidents or gridlocks. Lol, but I am sure my Blood Pressure didnot appreciate the stress of running late.
I always WARN them about my NEEDLE "issues"... ๐๐๐
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Oh my you had a rough night and beginning to your day Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy ! I hope it is now over and you are taking time to breathe and reduce that blood pressure. Wishing you a more calm rest of the day.
Marcy
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2 comments (Thursday 3/28/24)
Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 ๐๐๐
[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:Oh my you had a rough night and beginning to your day Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy ! I hope it is now over and you are taking time to breathe and reduce that blood pressure. Wishing you a more calm rest of the day.
Marcy ***]
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1 comment (Thursday 3/28/24 about 11:10pm)
Hey Marcy @MarcyW882921 , NO "reaction" to my shot and heading to get some zzz's. ๐๐๐
Lol, stayed out of the bed ALL DAY after getting back from CVS.
Thanks for CARING ๐๐๐
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2 comments (Wednesday 3/27/24)
SO GOOD to hear from you MC @mc6844 ๐๐๐
Well, I HOPE to get some "rest" TONIGHT as I have a 9am appointment TOMORROW to get the 2nd Recommended COVID shot for AGE 65+ at CVS.
Lol, had my "meltdown" (HATE NEEDLES ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ) when I read the AARP Article about this NEW recommendation. Figured at age 66 this year, it will keep me well. GRATEFUL have never caught it!!! ๐๐๐
My daughter has twice. ๐ต
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May you continue to be well Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy . I am in the needle haters club too so I hope you get through your appointment this morning without much discomfort.
Marcy
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1 comment (Wednesday 3/27/24)
Check out this event:
Thursday, Apr 4, 2024. 11:30 a.m. ET , 10:30 a.m. CT , 9:30 a.m. MT , 8:30 a.m. PT. 90 minutes long.
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1 comment (Tuesday 3/26/24) Chat!
Walmart was "interesting" ๐ - spotted a couple I DIDNOT want too see and thankful they DIDNOT "look" my way!!! Happy Dance ๐๐๐
Female use to live where I do about 1 or 2 years ago. Very controlling and we parted ways when she moved out. Daily knock out fights with her Baby Daddy.
Another Happy Dance, I got my Weekly Video Call from my daughter today!!! ๐๐๐
I think I MAY have won $100.00 on one of my two $1 Scratchoff Tickets today from Walmart. Will stop by their Customer Service Counter NEXT Tuesday when I return for weekly groceries. Not getting excited, but... ๐
Raining and will be until Friday. ๐ญ
GRATEFUL it was NOT for my Walmart Trip this morning. ๐
Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY ๐๐๐
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๐ต 1 comment (Monday 3/25/24) Chat!
Quiet day!
Weekly Walmart trip TOMORROW, gas Wednesday, then my 2nd Age 65+ Covid shot at 9am Thursday.
Figured I would do "shot" LAST just in case I have a "reaction" = stay home!
My daughter made it back from Atlanta YESTERDAY, tired today and not feeling well. Lol, did my 1st round of BEGGING for my Weekly Video Call = that was HER response. ๐
She KNOWS I will be "pestering" TOMORROW. ๐
Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY ๐๐๐
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1 comment (Saturday3/23/24) Chat!!!
HOW ARE YOU? ๐ค
Raining and not going to complain as my area needs the rain - brush fires! ๐ฑ
But GLAD, sunshine on Tuesday for my Weekly Walmart Grocery Run. ๐๐๐
Daughter will be in Atlanta until this Sunday = end of NSBE travel, end of Conference there. Gosh, it has been like she married the Organization with the MESS of having to MOVE conference from Florida (where she lives) to Atlanta because of the Florida Governor. ๐
Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY ๐๐๐
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9 comments (Wednesday 2/20/24)
SO GOOD to hear from you Marcy @MarcyW882921 ๐๐๐
[1] Lol, Girl, you know I OLD = what Happiness Link??? Hmmm, did you put the "link" in your post TODAY? I donot remember a PAST "link" and checked some of your OLD POSTS and not seeing this link. Where is it? Thanks! ๐ต
[2] Not a pool person, prefer the ocean, but the one back in my homeland Jamaica, West Indies. Clean and white sand. Spent 16 glorious years there until I was shipped to St. Louis, Missouri for a better life in the country my dad was born in. ๐ He had died {car accident} when I was 12 {my 2 brothers were 2 and 5} while working for an American Company stationed on the island. We graduated from High School at that age and I guess family wanted to help my mom who had 3 of us. I was NOT HAPPY about leaving my island, maternal grandparents and friends behind.
[3] I AM SO HAPPY Cadee @Cadee2719 stops in to update us when she can. ๐๐๐
[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:Hey Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy , you could be in Florida. It was a little cooler here today, but the pool is open and people are in it!
I'm glad you had a positive WalMart trip and you were able to make a social connection. Check out the link I posted on happiness and I think you covered some items during your visit.๐ Marcy ***]
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