🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸clipart attached📸

[MarcyW882921]

Making friends has been a challenge for me and maybe it has for others as well. I know people from chorus, tennis, and water aerobics and I talk to people at these activities. It doesn't go beyond social interactions during those activities. I find that it's not the same to be with couples who were friends of ours and the single people I know have families (parents, children, grandchildren) and friend groups that are established. 

I do things on my own, but it seems to be a rather solitary existence.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

5 comments (Tuesday 12/5/23)

Same here Marcy @MarcyW882921 and I HAVE to let my "only" child, a daughter FEEL okay with TIME AWAY from me.

YOU will meet OTHER "healthy" humans on YOUR Healing Journey when YOU get more "involved" in life! 👍

The "trick" is to FIGURE OUT what DIRECTION you want to go... 😎

I want to get INVOLVED with animals BUT so NOT into the "politics and drama" I encountered last year when I tried it. Lol, I am RETIRED and not looking for a JOB (boss from h.ll, micro managing and so on).

[Cadee2719]

Morning.  I am hoping that once I get settled in my new state that I will be able to volunteer and help others.  I have enjoyed doing this most of my life.  I agree with you Nicole that sometimes doing so puts you in a place where they want more and more from you and it becomes a full time job!  I now realize my limitations and will NOT allow that to happen.  My husband use to tease me and say "You spend so much time volunteering, why don't you get a job and get paid for it!"  After the kids were in school, that is exactly what I did.  🤣  Marcy I agree that rebuilding a life and a circle of friends is hard, along with all the other adjustments we have to make.  It seems to me that you are doing an excellent job.  ❤️

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you Cadee @Cadee2719 . I attended a webinar today and someone asked about building friendships. The presenter suggested joining in with community activities, volunteering, and pursuing hobbies. It has been good to hear from multiple sources that I seem to be approaching this in the right ways. You are right though Cadee, it is hard.

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy for your kind words of encouragement. I have basically decided to do things I want to do and if it's by myself then so be it. I have gone to movies, a Trivia night, a concert, and lectures and enrolled in a class. I am supposed to be notified soon about attending a training for a short term public service job.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Tuesday 12/5/23)

You are welcome Marcy @MarcyW882921 💙💙💙

And YES, I have my "moments" of FEELING alone - BUT I have "learn't" NOT to put up with "unhealthy" humans or RETURN to situations that are best LEFT in the past.

Yes, getting out into the work world again will bring some POSSIBILITIES 💃💃💃

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy , My work will be very short in duration so I'm not holding out much hope for possibilities from that front. I'm ok with it.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

3 comments (Monday 12/4/23)👣  Did You Do YOUR Steps?🤔

(Me) 7:48pm ET Lol, after unpacking groceries today I decided I needed a REWARD.  🙄  So I returned to bed and have been BINGEING on "Pretty Hard Cases" (Canadian mystery series, free on Prime App). NOW I have to PLAY CATCH UP = all the stuff that should have been done. 😭  And an 8am Mechanic Appointment TOMORROW.  😭

Find YOUR PEACE.... 😎

[Therapist4u]

Nicole needed a REWARD .....

Introvert doodles

 So she returned to bed 🛌  😊

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Monday 12/4/23)

Oh YES I did Allen @Therapist4u 💃💃💃

[Therapist4u]

Hi again Nicole

Thanks....it took me a while to find 🔎the right pic 📟 ... LOL!!🙂

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

6 comments (Sunday 12/3/23)

😎  Tell Us About YOUR HOBBIES! The Experts tell us they "may" help us on OUR Healing Journey..... 😏

(Me) I AGREE as they help me to ESCAPE for awhile from OVERTHINKING. As far as hobbies, gave up a lot of them due to NO MOTIVATION. But working on my STEPS 👣 to TRY to return to them. My Puzzle Book, which I use to purchase EVERY year is long overdue and last one still empty. It is the VARIETY PUZZLES, luv the mix as I get "bored" with just one type of puzzle. Hmmm, reading - the last book still sitting "unread"....

[MarcyW882921]

My main hobby is singing in an a-cappella chorus. It can get very busy this time of the year with performances. 🎶❤️🙂

I also cook, bake, read and play a couple of word and puzzle games on my phone.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

I play a lot of the AARP games; solitaire, word search, and the new one they have this month.  I read (have done so since I was a child) but I find that it is hard to concentrate on the stories now.   I bake and cook new recipes but give the food to my neighbors as I can't eat all that I make!  I take care of my plants (of which there are many) and find that these things relax me.

[KimberlyM389662]

Mine is reading. I have been reading since I was 5 and I also love to put puzzles together or do search words books but, I am currently struggling with my focus. They are trying new medication but I was also told that this has been an ongoing issue related to the COVID-19 virus which I had this year. Now we have a new form of pneumonia going around and guess what? This one also originated in China and has now been diagnosed in several other countries. Here we go again. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Sunday 12/3/23)

Hi Kim @KimberlyM389662 !

That is why I got the most "recent" COVID shot, Pneumonia along with my "yearly" Flu Shot THIS YEAR (2023).

And unless it is MANDATORY to be INSIDE with "other" folks - I am home or outside.

Way too many BUILDINGS have NOT had Ventilation checked or properly running.

And flying, nope. Use to be a Flight Attendant (age 18 to 20) and KNOW about EVERYONE in the plane SHARING air. 🤮

[mc6844]

I see more people wearing masks again. Prob good idea. Hope everyone stays well.

[KimberlyM389662]

Me too. I got the latest bi variant vaccine and flu shot at the same time. They offered me the pneumonia shot but, I wasn't sure about 3 at 1 time. I will definitely go back to get it, especially since I got legionella pneumonia in 1995 and was in the hospital for 6 days. I was out of work for over a month. I returned the last week of February and then got pregnant with my daughter the following month. My neighbor also is getting over pneumonia and her husband has it too. Watch, we are going to end up masked up again and social distancing and hopefully this doesn't shut the country down because I don't want that old saying about avoiding religion and politics from a conversation but, I truly don't think Biden will screw this up like COVID-19. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[KimberlyM389662]

@SpringIsHereSoHappy . I am having a really rough time right now. Lots of panic attacks and I realized that I have been starting the grieving stage. It also doesn't help that I am currently in a bad place with my daughter who is very much her father's child. I am her mother and not the other way. She will wake up because she really hasn't experienced real life yet. She thinks of her pain and doesn't understand mine. It's all about her and that is exactly how her Dad was. If you have something wrong then they have something worse. It's just really frustrating and then I say things that I don't want to. 

[mc6844]

I had to chuckle a little, because raising daughters is so different than raising sons. Daughters do tend to take on their dads attributes. It's not easy keeping a sense of humor when going through tough things. I think people learn or take information in on their own timetable. I guess because we're all different in many ways. But things seem to work out. 

[Cadee2719]

Kim I, too have been dealing with a similar situation with my daughter-in-law.  She fails to realize that the husband she lost was my SON.  She dismisses the fact that I was doing Home Hospice care for my husband who died shortly after my son and brother.  She says "I was not there for her!"  She is a narcissist and ONLY cares about herself.  My solution after trying to be there for her was to END THE RELATIONSHIP.  I am now at peace.  I will continue to stay in touch with my grandson (the spitting image of my son) who I love dearly but I will not be subject to the continued disrespect from his mother.  I know it is harder to do this with a daughter, but healing is difficult enough for us and we do not have to subject ourselves to those that only continue to hurt us.  You will find that you WILL become stronger and will make decisions that are best for you.  Kim, be kind to yourself.  You are working your way through the steps of recovery.  It is a hard, long process but one that I know you will successfully complete.  You are stronger than you realize.  ❤️

[jonibee]

Words of wisdom for today..".I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find am grateful for having loved them. The Gratitude has finally conquered the loss..".

taken from words of Rita Mae Brown 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[jonibee]

Soft rocik music or Easy listening music...A dark room perhaps a shower before retiring for the night...

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Friday 12/1/23)

🏡  Some of us have SOLD our homes or PLANNING to. Any tips to share with us?  🤔 

(My 2 cents) Try to explore [safety check] where YOU WANT to move to and try to move "nearer" to folks who CARE about you. Trust me, all of this helps to LESSEN our "stress" and hopefully gives us "peace of mind"... 💃💃💃

[Cadee2719]

In preparing my home to be sold I thought perhaps I would remodel the master bathroom.  I discovered that for JUST the shower and floor to be re-tiled AND NOTHING ELSE they wanted $21,000!!!!  (California prices). It is not a huge bathroom.  Knowing that homes in my neighborhood have been remodeled and sold and then TORN DOWN only to be remodeled again, I decided I am not going through the expense or bother to have this done.  I willl allow the new owners to do it and if that means I have to lower the price a little, so be it.  I should be interviewing realtors soon and plan to put my home on the market in late December/January.  I am anxious because homes sell at the first open house around here and I have medical appointments through 1/9 to complete and resolve.  The timing is critical and it makes me nervous.  I have "peace of mind" in my decision to move as my son will relocate with me to his new home, I have my brother and his wife there, along with a grandson and I will be leaving a place where people are being killed at the local McDonalds and mall. Nicole, I admire the fact that you picked up your life and moved to Florida to be near your daughter.  When we get older these decisions become harder to make.

[KimberlyM389662]

My house also needs a lot of work done but, this is my childhood home and my immediate family lives close, especially my Mom. She has the beginning stages of what we believe is dementia. She forgets a lot of things and that's why I will never go anywhere she isn't. Now my brother on the other hand will probably move to Florida when he retires and I don't know how he can just pack up and walk away from Mom. She is all we have had. Dad died when I was 21 and he was 18. 

[BillH490171]

Interesting day for me as I signed the burial agreement to have my wife's ashes placed in the niche we bought a few years ago. She'll be near her mom and other family members. Its been 6 months and I'm ready for this next step.  I'll drive up to Ohio on 12/12. The sun is shining now after a cold rainy morning. I know she would be happy and urge me to place her there.  Seems like this year is a blur at times.  

Hope you all have a great weekend and let the sun shine on your lives,  Bill

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks for sharing Bill @BillH490171. I hope knowing that your wife's ashes are near her Mom and family will make her happy and bring you peace this holiday season. Wishing you safe travel for your upcoming trip.

Marcy