I have had to get through the death of my dearest friend for 36 years, husband having two surgeries, and caring for my only sister as she died, all within an 18 month period. What saved me was Lake Erie and the spiritual connection I feel to a Higher Power just over the horizon. My husband is not a refuge, but it is what it is. I kept in contact with what few girlfriends I have left and make the effort to nourish the relationships I still have. girlfriends are precious. I have never laughed as hard with a man as I have with my girlfriends.
death is a part of the cycle. all living things die eventually. the problem with living long is that others don't. if you live long enough, you end up. alone. that is why we must seek joy as much as possible.
doing a little good in life can give value, makes the spirit "right". even the smallest thing; I pick up litter off the beach as I walk it.
I cannot believe death is a bad thing or to be feared. It is part of the cycle of life, after all.
I do not subscribe to a specific doctrine. I cannot believe any one religion is IT. every culture has a "god".....Jesus or Buddha or Mohamed or whatever a particular culture calls the Higher Power......what I call the HP. God is a short word for "good"....
kind, compassionate people, regardless of "religion". There are kind compassionate Christians, jews, muslims, etc. Its about what is in your heart.
It has been almost two years now since death and illness changed my life. some days are better than others, but there is nothing to do but carry on and trust that the HP will guide you. I used to pray (on the beach) for specific things I wanted to happen. I now just pray to be shown the way I should go, to be guided through whatever happens.
here is a poem I wrote when my world was blown to dust:
dearest friend dying fast.
only sister dying slow.
this is what happens
if you life long enough.
standing barefoot in the tide line,
each and every wave,
every breath,
receding the sand beneath your toes.
this is what growing old feels like;
the very ground your standing on
slipping away with every wave,
every breath.
a glorious sunset to eternity.
Seek joy.
Do a little good.
Be at peace with death.