🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Winter2025VA]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

🗣  Group Discussion: VOLUNTEERING can be FUN and may help with your HEALING!!!  💃💃💃

I know Marcy @MarcyW882921 does. Anyone else?

[Winter2025VA]

Marcy @MarcyW882921  , what TYPE of "volunteering" have YOU been doing? 🤔

*** The challenge for me THIS YEAR 2024 is to FIGURE out a way to "volunteer" WITHOUT the "drama & control" of the past [Homeless Shelter, Animal Rescue Group]. Lol, becoming a HERMIT in my old age. ***

I finally figured out my [3] interest - Virginia Penguins. [1] has always been helping the Homeless Vets here in Virginia. And [2] Providing Therapy Dogs for PTSD vets.

The penguins are at the Virginia Safari Park. It is about ONE HOUR from me and my daughter's ONLY visit (2019) to my location I was taken there for my birthday. AWESOME place. You can drive through the property which we did. Lol, she chauffered and between enjoyment and surprise (some animals would NOT move to let us through) it is a MEMORY that will last a lifetime.

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @Winter2025VA ,

Yesterday I went to a training for poll workers and will be volunteering with the county. Tomorrow I am making sandwiches for a couple of religious groups that provide food for people who are food insecure. Next week I will volunteer serving food for the same groups.

I have served ice cream to children in low socioeconomic after school programs, filled baskets for hospice patients, sorted food at a food pantry, and delivered hoiday gifts to people who don't get out. Less formally, I visit a neighbor who has a full-time live-in aide and run errands for another friend whose mobility has been challenged.

Marcy

Marcy

[JulieT507376]

Before Mark died I made quilts for Lutheran World Relief.  I haven’t sewn anything since he’s passed.  Someday I’ll sew again!  I would like to start with baby bibs for my 6 month old great grandson ❤️. Someday I’ll figure out how to move on without him. Tomorrow is mother in-laws funeral to think about.  

[MarcyW882921]

Julie @JulieT507376 ,

If you sewed before and it brought you joy, I have faith that you will do it again. Making quilts for Lutheran World Relief sounds like a project that has potential for providing therapeutic benefit for you and bringing warmth and comfort to the recipients. Beginning with baby bibs is a great idea too. Take reasonable sized steps that feel right for you.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  Julie I am sorry for your loss.  My friends on this site have walked me through the loss of three people within months.  They have made it possible to survive and taught me several valuable lessons.  I don't know what I would do without them.  Take ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Be KIND TO YOURSELF.  DO WHAT MAKES "YOU" COMFORTABLE.  MAKE CERTAIN THAT YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SEE THAT ALL YOUR MEDICAL NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF.  I was a caregiver to my husband and focused all of my attention on him while in home hospice.  Now I discover that there are several medical issues I neglected and have to tend to.  In the last two years I have discovered that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be.  I am also discovering "who" I actually am.  I miss my husband, son and brother every day, but among the many tears, I am beginning to smile when I think of them.  Bless You Julie

[JulieT507376]

Nicole, That’s amazing you remembered Mark’s mom funeral.  It’s this Saturday.  My family is still mourning over the loss of my great granddaughter’s death two weeks ago and then yesterday an uncle passed away from Covid.  It seems to never end for my family.  Saturday should be almost unbearable for the loved ones to gather together to with so many not with us.  
On a happier note something about me…I try to stay busy canning and freeze drying food.  It was for my husband and me.  Now I just give it to family. I loved to feed my husband❤️🥰

[Winter2025VA]

🗣  Group Discussion: Have you had times when LIFE helped you out?

Well it did TODAY at Walmart for ME.

Ran into another OLD PERSON at Walmart who use to be pre-diabetic like I am.

Going to the GYM everyday allows him to eat what he wants.

Gosh, I am NOW not so discouraged.

Lol, felt like I had a LIFETIME jail sentence.

So THANKS to a stranger for ADDING a Happy Dance to my day!!!  💃💃💃

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

I know how you feel as I am diabetic ..it's just finding what works for you to get that blood sugar count low and stationary..My week is filled with appts 3 this week..I just want to get them pared down to primary and cardiologist more of a well being than a have to see this one for test and more test..It's so tiring and stressful..My BP always goes up "white collar syndrome"..I just want to be able to enjoy life for what it is..Stop and smell the roses literally...

[Winter2025VA]

How is EVERYONE doing?

Jonibee @jonibee , MC @mc6844 , Julie @JulieT507376 , Cadee @Cadee2719 and Marcy @MarcyW882921  - I am here IF anyone needs me as usual.

Heading to Kroger later on. Got up at 6:30am ET to feed you know who. Wet food day much to his pleasure. I also have dry food days = good for what teeth he has. On those days, he is NOT happy with me and stalks me ALL DAY complaining. But finally eats when he is starving. My spoilt boy!!!  🙄🙄🙄

FIND YOUR PEACE AND DREAMS TODAY!!!  💃💃💃

We have made it this far and will CONTINUE on....

*** Don't forget we have a FREE Online Event for Members & Non-Members in 3 more days. Any questions, ask - be happy to help.  🙃  ***

TO ALL OUR MIA's and grievers, I HOPE you stop by when you feel up to it.

Luv you ALL very much,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  Good Morning All.  Nicole I am so glad that you got that cat.  He keeps you on your toes.  😁  No there are no feral cats around my home to take care of.  However, there are a lot of kids and they make me laugh every day.  My little friend, Cooper is coming to make cookies with me.  i went out and purchased sprinkles galore, icing, etc. to decorate.  Yesterday my brother called to tell me that he and his wife will come and spend Christmas with me which makes me happy.  I am still hoping that my grandson will come to visit for Thanksgiving.  I will be doing a lot of baking and cooking and I am glad.  My daughter-in-law got the gravestone for my son's grave.  I have arranged for flowers to be delivered each month to both my husband and son's graves.   October 30 will be 2 years since I lost my husband,  November 25 would have been our 63rd. wedding anniversary so it will be nice to have the distraction of people I love being here with me.  The pain in my legs is still a mystery, unresolved.  I see the rheumatologist in November and a family doctor in December.  It has taken me MONTHS to get these appointments.  This has been the most difficult part of my move to a new state.  Also I did not know how affected we would be by the fires/smoke from Oregon, Canada and California!!  Spent the whole month of August indoors with an air purifier running.  Still adapting to new surroundings and experiences.  Learning something new each day.  I hope that you are able to find a place that you love, feel safe in and are at peace.  Luv ya! ❤️

[jonibee]

I am slowly recooperating the leg felt better yesterday but today is a little stiff feeling of course the compression stocking tends to feel tight in places..I go for 1st follow up and will see what phys. asst. says..I did do walking around the yard and pulled some over growth left  from Irises perhaps that's the reason of stiffness...My daughter and I will start walking on harder surfaces which should benefit both of us..To All may your troubles deminish and have a good day...

[Cadee2719]

  Glad that all went well for you.  Amazed that you are already up and walking around!  What was involved with the surgery?  Wishing you well.

[jonibee]

It sounds worse than it is..A four step process...consultation, ultra sound on leg, mapping of vien, procedure  and 2 follow-ups with another ultrasound before final consult..They have to do an incision to use electrode to cauterize the existing vein giving a series of injection along the leg with Lidocaine it numbs the leg it feels like a series of bee stings  but doesn't last ..the whole procedure takes about 45 min. You take a sedative an hour before procedure and take another if needed to but you in a relax state as stress causes tightening of the veins..After procedure you take Ibeprofen if needed 200 to 400 grams. Wear compression stocking or ace bandage from groin to ankle for 24 hours and every day for 2 weeks taking it off at bed time..If any hardness, swelling or pain you would call the doctor' office..The compression stockng are to halp against blood clotting.. You must walk around during the day to get the blood moving and I propped my leg (s) up when sitting, reclining ...I am due to have the other leg done when scheduling allows...Your health insurance needs to be pre approved for this procedure it is called Closure Fast Procedure for Varicose Veins...It's not knowing what is involved that is scary but once you know what is involved you can go with the flow..literallyi...

[Winter2025VA]

👣👣👣  Keep stepping!!!

[Winter2025VA]

🗣  GROUP DISCUSSION: Do YOU get signs from your luv ones?

In my "very humble" opinion, I feel IF we get quiet and just BE - our luv ones will let us know they are WITH US.

Now NOT everyone's WITH US will be the same.

[Winter2025VA]

MY RESPONSE: I will start this discussion with my DAILY reminder and HOPE others will also SHARE. Hey, your story may ENCOURAGE someone TODAY/TONIGHT!!!  🤗🤗🤗

As a child I dealt with an alcoholic father who beat my mother daily. Climbing up in a HUGE tree to escape, read and nap was my ESCAPE. And add that "gentle" breeze that ALWAYS stopped by to "rock" me to sleep. My Maternal grandparents made my parents drop me off EVERY summer when school was closed. Months of being LUVED and company for them. THEY are gone, but REMIND me they will ALWAYS luv me with a "gentle" wind in some tree I happen to be by. Tears are in my eyes as I write this. Luv you Grandpops & Mamamae.

[MarcyW882921]

I can relate to your story Nicole @Winter2025VA . My family situation growing up could be somewhat volatile. Fortunately my paternal grandparents lived on our ground floor and definitely provided love, stability, and security. At times, I too sought refuge in a tree, in the woods, and behind a sectional couch. They were safe places for me to escape and find peace. It's not a bad thing even as an adult to have places to go where you can decompress, relax, and be at peace.

Marcy

[Winter2025VA]

📸  Attachment  📸   Dear Jonibee @jonibee , I HOPE your surgery went well YESTERDAY dear friend. Luv you, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

My surgery did go well and I'm on the road to recovery ...It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...Great doctor and assistant...Have to keep my leg propped up and make sure I do some walking (which I did this a.m. around the yard)...I have to keep the ace bandages on the leg ankle to thigh for the next two weeks but get to take it off at bed time...The other leg will be done when their schedule allows for it..Thank You for your kind thoughts..Our wedding anniversary was on Sept 5th it would have been 65 yeara..I came home and my daughter pointed out one single small cluster of Bridal Wreath had bloomed facing the house...Now this bush generally blooms in early June..I take it as a sign that hubby was with me....She took a picture of it and I'll leave the bloom on the bush to go it's natural waiy...

[Winter2025VA]

OUR MISSING TEAM MEMBERS!!!  ☹

Hmmm, I still have three MIA's - HOPING you guys will stop by when you feel up to it. MISSING YOU BIG TIME!!!

MC @mc6844 , Allen @Therapist4u and Kim @KimberlyM389662 

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Hi Nicole  thank you for your kind thoughts. I hope that you and Cadee and Jonibee and all on the forum are doing well and overcoming issues. You're all in my thoughts and prayers!

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. I've missed all of you. In my thoughts and prayers. Lots of house stuff has been dealt with here. Very tiring. I wish you all well with your health and home and pets. I hope to stop by more often to see how you all are. Please take good care of yourselves. I'm sure your love ones have their eye on you always. 

[jonibee]

I know what you mean by having a hard time going to the same doctor because I too went through this and it was hard facing the doctor and staff..Yesterday would have been the anniversary of marriage of 65 years but I lost him after 63 years..a bitter-sweet day ..Because of my appt. for mapping of veins in preparation of todays surgery , I didn't have time to dwell on it..I look for today to be over in hopes of restoring normalness to my left leg..and down the line the other..I'm more worried about putting the darn compression stocking on even tho it has a zipper it's still tug and pull. Especialliy in the humid day that is expected..Oh well I have to think of the outcome from it..Thank You for your kind thoughts..

[Cadee2719]

Wishing you well on your surgery.  I guess going on 81 has brought on something similar for me.  I thought I had a blood clot in my leg and have been unable to walk.  Went to the cardiologist (took me 3 months to get an appointment) yesterday and he said it is not a blood clot.  Thank God  My next step is the rheumatologist that I see in November!  I guess it is difficult for the heart to pump the blood through my body or I need different medication from the rheumatologist to eliminate all this pain.  I have no idea what is causing the pain.

 I have been using the compression stockings and the electronic boots trying to eliminate the pain.  Getting old is h***.    I hope all goes well for you as I know how difficult it is to walk when in such pain.  

[Winter2025VA]

You are welcome dear Jonibee @jonibee and YES, time for your PAIN to go away my friend. Time for YOU to be able to RETURN to life in whatever way YOU choose. Luv you, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JONIBEE wrote: I know what you mean by having a hard time going to the same doctor because I too went through this and it was hard facing the doctor and staff..Yesterday would have been the anniversary of marriage of 65 years but I lost him after 63 years..a bitter-sweet day ..Because of my appt. for mapping of veins in preparation of todays surgery , I didn't have time to dwell on it..I look for today to be over in hopes of restoring normalness to my left leg..and down the line the other..I'm more worried about putting the darn compression stocking on even tho it has a zipper it's still tug and pull. Especialliy in the humid day that is expected..Oh well I have to think of the outcome from it..Thank You for your kind thoughts..***]

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[jonibee]

I will definately do that  ..

[JulieT507376]

Marcy I’m glad your doctor continues to support you.  I seem to want to be around people that knew my husband in all his paths of life.  They seem to understand my loss better than people that never knew him.  Your shared doctor knows your pain.

I’m over powered with grief.  First my husband died in December of 2023, next his mother that I was the care giver to passed in June of this year and several days ago I lost a day old great grand daughter.  She was born with a tumor and was being prepared for surgery and died before.  Next Saturday is mother-in-law funeral.  

I continue to look for a silver lining in my life.  Sadie my husband’s dog continues to be best friend.  She allows me to smother her in hugs and kisses because I don’t have Mark anymore.  She was sleeping with me but she rolled out of bed and hit the floor.  Poor girl!   She now only jumps up to say good night.  

Ohhhhhh something must be bright and beautiful out there! 

[Cadee2719]

  Beautiful dog.

[jonibee]

The eyes are the picture of the soul..It makes you wonder what is this dog thinking or living its own memories..Such a wistful looking dog ..handsome and beautiful markings...