🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[iLuvAutumn]

🤗🤗🤗  THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

▶️*** Grief Team Member Cadee said this. ***◀️

SHARING thoughts on caring for oneself, making doctor appointments (and the difficulty in doing so), discussing relocating, dealing with finances and life's decisions are all important issues to discuss. These are all a part of being alone and having to make big decisions for ourselves (perhaps for the very first time). Once one "accepts" the reality of being alone, it is difficult to have to make these decisions for ourselves ALONE. Hearing how others do it and have done it has been extremely helpful to me. Accepting the loss is NOT the end of this journey. Listening to tapes and reading books does not always offer the personal touch needed at times. Having someone make us smile and knowing there are people out there that truly do care about you is a gift. THIS GROUP IS DEDICATED TO CADEE @Cadee2719  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

Morning Nicole ❤️   I have been dealing with some medical issues.  My rheumatologist requires me to get blood test for him to continue the medication till I see my new doctor.  He called and said I had to go to Urgent Care as I have a serious infection!  Went and they put me on Cipra, a strong antibiotic.  Took it one day and I had a horrible headache and my blood pressure shot up to 208/100!  Back to Urgent Care and they took me off of the Cipra (too powerful).  So, I have been taking it easy.  I have decided to go off of the medication prescribed by the rheumatologist as the cure is worse than the disease. (chemo medication)     I will wait until I see my new doctor here and proceed with care at that time.   Today is my son's birthday, so I baked him a cake!  The night before I experienced my FIRST thunder and lightening storm.  It only lasted about 15 minutes.  I have always been so afraid of thunder and lightening when I lived in Pennsylvania so it was an experience for me.  It wasn't so bad. (I guess I am growing up)  I am so glad that those of us on this site are taking care of ourselves.  In November, I will be 81 (still kicking) but I know that I have to focus on taking care of myself.  I am not certain if all of my issues have surfaced because I have finally settled in after my move and notice them, or if I AM FALLING APART!!  🤣  In the next 3 months I will see my new doctors and hopefully get the answers and care I need.  Until then I encourage everyone to get their check ups and TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.  ❤️

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  Group Discussion: VOLUNTEERING can be FUN and may help with your HEALING!!!  💃💃💃

I know Marcy @MarcyW882921 does. Anyone else?

[iLuvAutumn]

Marcy @MarcyW882921  , what TYPE of "volunteering" have YOU been doing? 🤔

*** The challenge for me THIS YEAR 2024 is to FIGURE out a way to "volunteer" WITHOUT the "drama & control" of the past [Homeless Shelter, Animal Rescue Group]. Lol, becoming a HERMIT in my old age. ***

I finally figured out my [3] interest - Virginia Penguins. [1] has always been helping the Homeless Vets here in Virginia. And [2] Providing Therapy Dogs for PTSD vets.

The penguins are at the Virginia Safari Park. It is about ONE HOUR from me and my daughter's ONLY visit (2019) to my location I was taken there for my birthday. AWESOME place. You can drive through the property which we did. Lol, she chauffered and between enjoyment and surprise (some animals would NOT move to let us through) it is a MEMORY that will last a lifetime.

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @iLuvAutumn ,

Yesterday I went to a training for poll workers and will be volunteering with the county. Tomorrow I am making sandwiches for a couple of religious groups that provide food for people who are food insecure. Next week I will volunteer serving food for the same groups.

I have served ice cream to children in low socioeconomic after school programs, filled baskets for hospice patients, sorted food at a food pantry, and delivered hoiday gifts to people who don't get out. Less formally, I visit a neighbor who has a full-time live-in aide and run errands for another friend whose mobility has been challenged.

Marcy

Marcy

[JulieT507376]

Before Mark died I made quilts for Lutheran World Relief.  I haven’t sewn anything since he’s passed.  Someday I’ll sew again!  I would like to start with baby bibs for my 6 month old great grandson ❤️. Someday I’ll figure out how to move on without him. Tomorrow is mother in-laws funeral to think about.  

[MarcyW882921]

Julie @JulieT507376 ,

If you sewed before and it brought you joy, I have faith that you will do it again. Making quilts for Lutheran World Relief sounds like a project that has potential for providing therapeutic benefit for you and bringing warmth and comfort to the recipients. Beginning with baby bibs is a great idea too. Take reasonable sized steps that feel right for you.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  Julie I am sorry for your loss.  My friends on this site have walked me through the loss of three people within months.  They have made it possible to survive and taught me several valuable lessons.  I don't know what I would do without them.  Take ONE STEP AT A TIME.  Be KIND TO YOURSELF.  DO WHAT MAKES "YOU" COMFORTABLE.  MAKE CERTAIN THAT YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SEE THAT ALL YOUR MEDICAL NEEDS ARE TAKEN CARE OF.  I was a caregiver to my husband and focused all of my attention on him while in home hospice.  Now I discover that there are several medical issues I neglected and have to tend to.  In the last two years I have discovered that I am much stronger than I ever thought I could be.  I am also discovering "who" I actually am.  I miss my husband, son and brother every day, but among the many tears, I am beginning to smile when I think of them.  Bless You Julie

[iLuvAutumn]

🤔  Any QUOTES to share with the group?

[iLuvAutumn]

 “There will come a day, I promise you, when the thought of your son, or daughter, or your wife or your husband, brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen. My prayer for you is that day will come sooner than later.” Joe Biden

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  Group Discussion: HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS?

[iLuvAutumn]

I have NEVER been big on them BUT certain ones that I use to spend with folks I CARED about do make me sad WITHOUT them.

I usually WAIT to see HOW I am feeling, then DECIDE how to spend them.

I am VERY GRATEFUL my only child has ALWAYS spent them with her friends and/or extended family. This way I am NOT a "wet blanket" for her.

I MAY sleep in, do self care, go to Dollar Tree (lol, NOT too often - my budget). Thinking of FUTURE volunteering. But NOT there as yet.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

🚗🚘  CAR CARE TIPS?

For those still driving, how are you keeping your car running NOW THAT YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE?

I am getting ready to go up to Discount Auto and HOPE the "men" are RESPECTFUL  🙄🙄🙄  as I have NO IDEA what I am seeking.

I remember in past there was something I had used on the RUST on my VW Squareback [engine in back], yes - an Antique with more rust than paint BEFORE I used product./lol  🤣😂

Her name was SUSIE and I was in tears for about a year back in Florida when I had to trade her in. Developed an OIL LEAK that cost MORE than she was worth.  😭😭😭

Lol, the Salesman who sold me my BRAND NEW Geo Metro would call to see how car was and I would cry.

And until they MOVED Susie from their lot which was in Merritt Island, close to where I was working in Cape Canaveral for Harris Corporation (Government Contracts) - I REROUTED. I lived in Palm Bay and passed their lot to and from work.

Anyway, wish me luck TODAY as I am NOT repainting my OTHER old lady (2006 Hyundai Elantra).

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

📸  Attachment  📸

Just sprayed on car.

[JulieT507376]

Nicole, That’s amazing you remembered Mark’s mom funeral.  It’s this Saturday.  My family is still mourning over the loss of my great granddaughter’s death two weeks ago and then yesterday an uncle passed away from Covid.  It seems to never end for my family.  Saturday should be almost unbearable for the loved ones to gather together to with so many not with us.  
On a happier note something about me…I try to stay busy canning and freeze drying food.  It was for my husband and me.  Now I just give it to family. I loved to feed my husband❤️🥰

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  Group Discussion: Have you had times when LIFE helped you out?

Well it did TODAY at Walmart for ME.

Ran into another OLD PERSON at Walmart who use to be pre-diabetic like I am.

Going to the GYM everyday allows him to eat what he wants.

Gosh, I am NOW not so discouraged.

Lol, felt like I had a LIFETIME jail sentence.

So THANKS to a stranger for ADDING a Happy Dance to my day!!!  💃💃💃

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

I know how you feel as I am diabetic ..it's just finding what works for you to get that blood sugar count low and stationary..My week is filled with appts 3 this week..I just want to get them pared down to primary and cardiologist more of a well being than a have to see this one for test and more test..It's so tiring and stressful..My BP always goes up "white collar syndrome"..I just want to be able to enjoy life for what it is..Stop and smell the roses literally...

[iLuvAutumn]

How is EVERYONE doing?

Jonibee @jonibee , MC @mc6844 , Julie @JulieT507376 , Cadee @Cadee2719 and Marcy @MarcyW882921  - I am here IF anyone needs me as usual.

Heading to Kroger later on. Got up at 6:30am ET to feed you know who. Wet food day much to his pleasure. I also have dry food days = good for what teeth he has. On those days, he is NOT happy with me and stalks me ALL DAY complaining. But finally eats when he is starving. My spoilt boy!!!  🙄🙄🙄

FIND YOUR PEACE AND DREAMS TODAY!!!  💃💃💃

We have made it this far and will CONTINUE on....

*** Don't forget we have a FREE Online Event for Members & Non-Members in 3 more days. Any questions, ask - be happy to help.  🙃  ***

TO ALL OUR MIA's and grievers, I HOPE you stop by when you feel up to it.

Luv you ALL very much,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  Good Morning All.  Nicole I am so glad that you got that cat.  He keeps you on your toes.  😁  No there are no feral cats around my home to take care of.  However, there are a lot of kids and they make me laugh every day.  My little friend, Cooper is coming to make cookies with me.  i went out and purchased sprinkles galore, icing, etc. to decorate.  Yesterday my brother called to tell me that he and his wife will come and spend Christmas with me which makes me happy.  I am still hoping that my grandson will come to visit for Thanksgiving.  I will be doing a lot of baking and cooking and I am glad.  My daughter-in-law got the gravestone for my son's grave.  I have arranged for flowers to be delivered each month to both my husband and son's graves.   October 30 will be 2 years since I lost my husband,  November 25 would have been our 63rd. wedding anniversary so it will be nice to have the distraction of people I love being here with me.  The pain in my legs is still a mystery, unresolved.  I see the rheumatologist in November and a family doctor in December.  It has taken me MONTHS to get these appointments.  This has been the most difficult part of my move to a new state.  Also I did not know how affected we would be by the fires/smoke from Oregon, Canada and California!!  Spent the whole month of August indoors with an air purifier running.  Still adapting to new surroundings and experiences.  Learning something new each day.  I hope that you are able to find a place that you love, feel safe in and are at peace.  Luv ya! ❤️

[jonibee]

I am slowly recooperating the leg felt better yesterday but today is a little stiff feeling of course the compression stocking tends to feel tight in places..I go for 1st follow up and will see what phys. asst. says..I did do walking around the yard and pulled some over growth left  from Irises perhaps that's the reason of stiffness...My daughter and I will start walking on harder surfaces which should benefit both of us..To All may your troubles deminish and have a good day...

[Cadee2719]

  Glad that all went well for you.  Amazed that you are already up and walking around!  What was involved with the surgery?  Wishing you well.

[jonibee]

It sounds worse than it is..A four step process...consultation, ultra sound on leg, mapping of vien, procedure  and 2 follow-ups with another ultrasound before final consult..They have to do an incision to use electrode to cauterize the existing vein giving a series of injection along the leg with Lidocaine it numbs the leg it feels like a series of bee stings  but doesn't last ..the whole procedure takes about 45 min. You take a sedative an hour before procedure and take another if needed to but you in a relax state as stress causes tightening of the veins..After procedure you take Ibeprofen if needed 200 to 400 grams. Wear compression stocking or ace bandage from groin to ankle for 24 hours and every day for 2 weeks taking it off at bed time..If any hardness, swelling or pain you would call the doctor' office..The compression stockng are to halp against blood clotting.. You must walk around during the day to get the blood moving and I propped my leg (s) up when sitting, reclining ...I am due to have the other leg done when scheduling allows...Your health insurance needs to be pre approved for this procedure it is called Closure Fast Procedure for Varicose Veins...It's not knowing what is involved that is scary but once you know what is involved you can go with the flow..literallyi...

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  GROUP DISCUSSION: Survival TIPS for Grief. Do YOU have any tips?

[iLuvAutumn]

ALLOW YOUR GRIEF!!!

No step is more important than this. Appreciate, accept, and allow your grief as a natural response to your loss. Let yourself feel your pain. Suppressed grief doesn’t go away. Grief is a mix of many uncomfortable feelings. You may feel sad, angry, or filled with remorse, regret, or longing. All these feelings are natural.

https://hospicefoundation.org/Grief-(1)/Journeys-with-Grief-Articles/Survival-Tips-for-Grief

[iLuvAutumn]

👣👣👣  Keep stepping!!!

[iLuvAutumn]

🗣  GROUP DISCUSSION: Do YOU get signs from your luv ones?

In my "very humble" opinion, I feel IF we get quiet and just BE - our luv ones will let us know they are WITH US.

Now NOT everyone's WITH US will be the same.

[iLuvAutumn]

MY RESPONSE: I will start this discussion with my DAILY reminder and HOPE others will also SHARE. Hey, your story may ENCOURAGE someone TODAY/TONIGHT!!!  🤗🤗🤗

As a child I dealt with an alcoholic father who beat my mother daily. Climbing up in a HUGE tree to escape, read and nap was my ESCAPE. And add that "gentle" breeze that ALWAYS stopped by to "rock" me to sleep. My Maternal grandparents made my parents drop me off EVERY summer when school was closed. Months of being LUVED and company for them. THEY are gone, but REMIND me they will ALWAYS luv me with a "gentle" wind in some tree I happen to be by. Tears are in my eyes as I write this. Luv you Grandpops & Mamamae.

[iLuvAutumn]

🤔  What CHALLENGE(s) Are YOU Facing RIGHT NOW?

▶️  To REPLY, click on REPLY button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click REPLY button again.  ◀️

*** READ the comments and/or ADD a comment ***

Stop by to tell us about YOUR CHALLENGE and support OTHER MEMBERS.

Grief & Loss Team  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

My ongoing challenge has been to ALLOW my only child, a daughter in Florida (I am in Virginia) to figure out how to handle being laid off from her Engineering job. Lol, the "selfish, momma bear" part of me wants her to MOVE BACK to Virginia so I DO NOT have to MOVE BACK to Florida [when I can NO longer drive]. Better pay and job opportunities in Arlington, Virgina where she use to live 2015 to 2018. Been laid off in Melbourne, Florida since April 11, 2024. She HATED Virginia, luvs Florida. Was born in Melbourne. I HATE Florida, luv Virginia.  Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[iLuvAutumn]

 📸  Attachment  📸  Dear Jonibee @jonibee , I HOPE your surgery went well YESTERDAY dear friend. Luv you, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

My surgery did go well and I'm on the road to recovery ...It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...Great doctor and assistant...Have to keep my leg propped up and make sure I do some walking (which I did this a.m. around the yard)...I have to keep the ace bandages on the leg ankle to thigh for the next two weeks but get to take it off at bed time...The other leg will be done when their schedule allows for it..Thank You for your kind thoughts..Our wedding anniversary was on Sept 5th it would have been 65 yeara..I came home and my daughter pointed out one single small cluster of Bridal Wreath had bloomed facing the house...Now this bush generally blooms in early June..I take it as a sign that hubby was with me....She took a picture of it and I'll leave the bloom on the bush to go it's natural waiy...