Prevention is the best medicine when it comes to avoiding surprise medical bills! Learn more.

 

Reply
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1020
Views

Come with me!

1,020 Views
Message 61 of 1,088

Only one month after moving from Southern California to Arizona to care full-time for my mother-in-law (who deals with Parkinson's Disease) I had to make an impromptu trip back across the desert to bring my 8-year-old daughter to her scheduled summer camp. I was in a panic about how to have Mom cared for while I was gone when it occurred to me that she hadn't been to the coast in several years. I asked her if she wanted to come with me and at first she was hesitant. She conjured up several excuses about medications, incontinence, and every possible problem that might occur. I'm grateful for the ability I mustered to calmly talk her through the possible SOLUTIONS for each of her concerns. Together we searched online for an affordable hotel at the halfway point and agreed that we would stop every hour to stretch, use a bathroom, or snack if we needed to.

 

It was challenging, especially the first day. The heat was tough, the drive was long and the car was cramped, but we talked and listened to music and my daughter added a bit of comic relief here and there.  The evening at the hotel was even more challenging, but we made the best of it. The next morning we dropped of my daughter and started our "mini vacation" together.

 

As we drove along the coast, my mother-in-law reminisced about her youth growing up on the beach and shared stories about my husband and his childhood family. We were fortunate enough to find a decent parking spot on a busy Saturday morning and I pushed her wheelchair along the boardwalk. She was shocked at the crowds and how different things were in only a few short years. We stopped to watch dolphins playing in the water with the surfers and decided not to get a hot dog from a street vendor, but soon left the crowded beach area and stopped at one of her favorite diners for lunch. She was more relaxed than I had seen in weeks. At one of our rest stops on the way home we went inside a travel center/casino to use the bathroom and ended up playing penny slots for an hour at her insistence! 

 

It was a great trip and I'm so glad we were able to share a nice summer break together. Not only did it provide us with shared memories, but now we know what to do to prepare for smooth and easy future getaways. 

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1020
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1017
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

1,017 Views
Message 62 of 1,088

i had a really good summer

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1017
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1022
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

1,022 Views
Message 63 of 1,088

Being a caregiver takes a lot out of you mentally and emotionally.  When you love someone with all your heart a caregiver job is very rewarding and fullfilling.  You know you are doing what needs to be done and you feel so empowered to provide your loved one with he/she needs "love". I hope each and everyone one of you that is taking care of a loved one understands they love you as much as you love them even if they don't or can't tell you in words.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1022
Views
Highlighted
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
970
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

970 Views
Message 64 of 1,088

We live near The.Great Smoky Mountain Park and it was one of Mom's favorite places. She always enjoyed visiting, seeing the wildlife, and stopping for an ice cream cone on the way home.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
970
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
956
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

956 Views
Message 65 of 1,088

Being a caregiver and traveling with someone who has dementia can be quite challenging.  However, with a sense of humor it can work.

My husband and I are retired and live in FL.  We do our best to spend a month in MI visiting family & friends.  Since my husband developed dementia, it has been more and more difficult to manage such a trip.

Our last trip north I was thinking about a neighbor explaining “respite care” to me.  It sparked something in my brain and I went online and found a website where I entered the parameters of what sort of respite accommodations I was looking for into a questionnaire and hit the “SEND” button.  A few days later the director of an assisted living facility called me to say she thought she had the solution to all my needs.  It turned out that she did.  My husband and I stayed in a delightful “respite apartment” in an assisted living facility complete with nursing care available!  And they even allowed us to have our small ShihTzu dog be with us.  I was in tears knowing that all could be taken care of for just a bit more than a decent hotel room would cost.  And we both got 3 wonderful meals daily in their lovely dining room.  We had a lovely visit and would certainly stay there again.

Our road trip north was always interesting because my husband would tell me I was driving on the wrong side of the freeway.  I would just laugh and point out the signs to him that showed we were either headed north or south (whichever was the right direction at the time) and he would insist we wouldn’t get there the way I was going.  I told myself not to get upset, but just laugh it off.  He would also point at the GPS in the dash and tell me numbers on the screen only confirmed that I wasn’t going the right way.  This just cracked me up even more.  I find humor in the strangest things!

On this trip, my husband was being very difficult to get back into the car after an overnight stay at a motel. After minutes of frustration and sweating, unable to move him into the seat of the car, I looked around to see who might be able to help me.  A gentleman was loading his luggage a few doors down from our room.  I approached him and asked if he might assist me.  He was more than willing and we got my husband situated in his seat.   Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.  There are still lots of wonderful angels out in the world willing to lend a hand.

Recently I needed to fly north because my elderly father had been hospitalized.  I have a home health care aide (who is also my wonderful next door neighbor) stay with my husband while I went north on that trip.  Make sure not to overlook resources that may be right in your backyard!  Reach out to others who are in the same situation as you are and form a support group.  It does a world of good to talk with others who know what you are going through.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
956
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
956
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

956 Views
Message 66 of 1,088
I am a cancer patient and also a caregiver to my 87 year old mom.She is relatively healthy but has a very hard time walking and standing so on are vacation ,she brings her little dog because my father passed away a year ago after my parents being married 68years,it took a toll on the whole family.when we go on vacation ,I try to give her good new memories without taking our vacations with my dad.We get a motel room on the bottom floor so she doesn’t have to go up and down steps or worry about an elevator.if she really doesn’t want to go somewhere than she stays with her dog and I call her often or she calls me often.i try not to go very far alway as it is better with shorter rides.
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
956
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
955
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

955 Views
Message 67 of 1,088

My husband has moderate  Cerebral Palsy and uses a scooter. We like to take afternoon trips . We live three miles from the beach. Even though we can’t go on the beach because my husband uses a scooter, we enjoy the beach atmosphere by going to the beach library, art galleries and restaurants that are very near to the beach. Always a great view!!

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
955
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
944
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

944 Views
Message 68 of 1,088
  1. My husband has moderate to severe Cerebral Palsy and is 66. I am 61 and like to stay active. We take afternoon trips around our area. We live 3 miles from the beach. My husband uses a scooter so we can’t go in the sand but we  go  to the library, art museums  and restaurants close by to the  beach.This is our way of getting the beach in our day, always a great view!!
Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
944
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
950
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

950 Views
Message 69 of 1,088

Hi my name is Gail I'm a 50 year old mother of 2 sons.My youngest son Jt is 24 and he was born with a rare syndrome and has struggled with heath issues all his life and each year grows worse.I am his 24 hour caregiver and also help care for my elderly mom who has dementia  and a weak heart.Its alot of work and I never get a break from my responsibilities.I do really good to shave my legs😂Its not easy!!! But I never let them see me cry.I make it a point to always smile and laugh at the mistakes and when I have them out together I make it a point to have fun at the negative  or the things that would otherwise sadden me.They both use canes when walking  and are slow we make jokes and say if there was a turtle crawling in peanut butter race  you both would be first place😂And some times when I open the door for them I will say in a loud voice all right run this way and I will point in a certain direction and day let's see who can get to the car first and they do try to out walk each other and laugh while trying to race😂Others people who stand by close enough will see and hear and get a kick out of them and also laugh.Its better for us this way because it's sad and we know we don't want to be sad about it and let it get us too down because we count it a blessing we are together and even though it's hard some times got to keep it as cheerful and happy as I can.As far as traveling with my son we can't travel far because pain of sitting in the car to long.But when we do travel we just go in a near by town and get a comfortable place to stay and look for any adventure we can find as long as It can do it and we make it a point to make the best of memories and take lots of pictures so we can go back and talk about it and kinda re live it.Yes I admit I'm tired and overwhelmed alot but I also count it an honor to be blessed with this precious son and loving mother who count on me! It's alot of sleepless nights and there are days I look like a real life zombie rushing around with them but it's okaye we all can laugh about that too😂

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
950
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
944
Views

Re: AARP Caregiving Summer Break Contest

944 Views
Message 70 of 1,088

My mom had married and had me later than usual so she's older than most mothers of girls my age. I'm a young wife and new mother. My mother is not fully co-dependent, so she does not live with us (she does not want to feel like a burden), just lives across the street so that we are nearby in case something happens. When it comes to vacations, we usually make sure that someone trustworthy can come stay with her while we are gone unless it is somewhere that she really enjoys going (like the beach) in which she usually comes with usSmiley Happy

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
944
Views
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

Share your best experiences traveling while caregiving.


woman taking selfie with man in wheelchair on the beach

Top Authors