Is your 'stuff' stressing you out? TV personality Matt Paxton has tips for downsizing and decluttering in our free, two-part webinar! Register now.

Reply
Conversationalist
0
Kudos
924
Views

Re: Tiny Living

924 Views
Message 11 of 32

Sounds like your parents grew up during the WW + Great Depression years. My parents did too. They seemed to have a fear of scarcity or fear of lack... that motivated a need to save everything. My mother saved plastic grocery bags - tons of them, neatly folded and stored. My father had very wide interests - so, he had lots and lots of stuff - in order to do his thing.

In contrast, their boomer kids were surrounded by too much stuff - a result of an every booming economy. We enjoyed the prosperity that followed on the backs of thier hard work and sacrifices and laws that the ensured a protected financial and medical future the aged. I'm a boomer too.

A lot of Millenials and younger generations seem to follow "minimalist lifestyle." They seem to be the "less is more" generation who see how big box economies encourage more and more stuff in households, while they also struggle to survive on minimal finances with discount aps on their cell phones instead of the cut-out paper coupons that I still use!

My father passed 30 years ago. His youngest son, moved home to live with our mother. It took him months to rid the place of all the excess. Afterward, he had a cleaner, simpler space to live in and easier to maintain. 

But, it seems that there is no easier way to deal with your dilemma than what you're already doing. A good KONMARI won't do here. Maybe living in an RV [if that's your preference] parked in his drive-way [or beside it?] might get you out of his chaotic space more often - with options to take periodic trips away for the sake of your health and safety? Perhaps others will chime in and give better solutions? Good luck to you.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
924
Views
Info Seeker
2
Kudos
822
Views

Re: Tiny Living

822 Views
Message 12 of 32

What you are saying is so true.  When my father and sister died, my mother just closed the closet doors.  14 years later when she died, I was left going through a home full of all 3 of their things.  My dad's clothes were still in the closet.  It was so much work.  So many things bought on QVC for presents that were never given, lost in the piles of "treasure".  Now what to do with them.  The kids are grown and don't want it now.  Most went to charity.  I don't want to leave my kids with that burden.

Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
822
Views
Info Seeker
2
Kudos
830
Views

Re: Tiny Living

830 Views
Message 13 of 32

Our long term plan had been to sell our 4-bedroom, 2-bath home of 39+ years to purchase a live-in RV and travel for as long as possible.  We would get to visit our children and grandchildren who live 1800 miles away more often!  It has now been 2 years since we have seen them. Three weeks before closing on the sale of our house, my now 96-year-old Dad asked us to move in and "help" him.  I am his only family and so we did.  It was probably a mistake.  Yes, we are saving tons of money.  BUT:  he is a hoarder, so we live in 2 rooms with kitchen privileges.  The limited space is fine - it is what we planned, but except for our rooms, the house is a garbage dump.  The children and grandchildren cannot visit for this reason.  We have to get permission to do anything or go anywhere (he thinks I am 12-years-old).  He fears that we are stealing his house when we try to make any improvements.

 

Please, people, give up the "stuff".  Respect your children that much.  As an example, my Dad still has his parents' cancelled checks in boxes that are crumbling and avalanching into what little walk space is left.  He falls over it daily, but its OK:  he cannot fall far.  The dust is destroying our bronchials.  Its what killed my Mom.  The stress is incredible, and worse for my long-suffering husband than for me.  I grew up with this.  My Dad litterally took 13 pairs of shoes on a weekend trip and I was packed into the car with a book last.

 

Rabbis have told us that "Honor thy Father & Mother" is the hardest of the Ten Commandments.  Please, please. please consider the difficulty that your preference of your stuff over your children may be causing.

 

"Room to breathe"  What IS that?

Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
830
Views
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1027
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,027 Views
Message 14 of 32

Thank you. In a previous posted reply I mention about seeking out museums who may want your family heirlooms and have a plaque with them with your family name as the donators.    Why not sell what you do not need and enjoy your winters in a with more mad money to spend?  Are there areas where you reside in summer that have tiny homes? Or could you place one on your land and live it while you rent out your home for additional income? also look to other family members who may want some family items, nieces, grandnieces, nephews, grandnephews etc. Even some inlaws perhaps.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1027
Views
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1026
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,026 Views
Message 15 of 32

Thank you. It sounds as though you have found your personal formula and it is working quite well for you.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1026
Views
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1027
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,027 Views
Message 16 of 32

Quite often in today's society and lifestyles, a generation is often skipped when passing down family possessions and heirlooms. Just as long as a family member within the family gets it. Imagine not having offspring, then possessions are left to nieces, nephews and grand nieces and grand nephews at times. Many families are unable to even take possession of family items due to the size or their financial situations. The days of Mom and Dad and children in households have changed so we all must change with them. Also, you might donate items to specific organizations and/or museums in your family's name. This way the items will be shown forever and the name of the family who donated it will be on record and shown with the items. There are all sorts of museums seeking specific items to display for others to see,  Perhaps sell an item if valuable and leave portions of the monies to family members. Just some ideas for you to ponder. Good luck with your plans.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1027
Views
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1034
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,034 Views
Message 17 of 32

Would you be able to have a tiny home placed on your current property? If so rent out your home for income and reside in a tiny home large enough to contain your lifestyle.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1034
Views
Bronze Conversationalist
0
Kudos
1043
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,043 Views
Message 18 of 32

What state are you in?  What state do you wish to relocate to?

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1043
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1030
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,030 Views
Message 19 of 32

I am actually fed up with our 1/4 acre we cannot maintain well enough.  I would down size but no matter what there must be space for our hundreds of books, our computers and  file cabinets and a room for me to paint large canvases, carve or weave large pieces.  The house must be warm enough without being too dry,  The bed room must accomodate a king sized bed and be large enough for me to lurch around in.  Not too many stairs since I have PMS and RA.  Sounds like a lot and, to boot, I would really like to move out of this state.  I am  almost 80 years old and not too tolerant of this weather. I think after reading what I wrote there may be no small homes like this in a place I would love. 

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1030
Views
Info Seeker
0
Kudos
1059
Views

Re: Tiny Living

1,059 Views
Message 20 of 32

I also have a lot of things I was saving "for when the kids grew up and had their own family".  They also don't want lots of stuff and I find now that they are older they don't always have as strong a memory or connection to them than I do.  I take pictures and give them to a new owner who can make their own memories.  My aunt gave a charming easter bunny doll set to my daughter.  She hardly ever played with it, but I couldn't bear to give it away.  We gave it to our grand niece this year and she loves it.  Now it is loved again.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1059
Views
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

Have a question about AARP membership or benefits? Ask it in the AARP Help Membership forum, Benefits & Discounts forum, or General forum.


multiple white question marks with center red question mark