Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[LydiaN586309]

Now, despite the fact that this joke is not a "senior" joke,  I thought y'all would find it as amusing as I did.  So here we go..........

This duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes"?  The bartender says, "No we only sell beer here". The duck leaves.

The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.” So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender “Do you have any nails"? The bartender says "no".  The duck asks “Do you have any grapes"?

Did you chuckle just a little?  lol

[LydiaN586309]

Now that we oldies can text, here are some helpful texting ideas.  Young people have their acronyms, now seniors have their own texting codes: 

Top 10 Senior Texting Codes:

* ATD - At the Doctor's

* BFF - Best Friend's Funeral

* BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

* DWI - Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

* FYI - Found Your Insulin

* LOL - Living on Lipitor

* ROFL...CGU - Rolling on the Floor Laughing...Can't get Up!

* TOT - Texting on Toilet

* WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

Exactly!

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

SENIOR CITIZEN TEAMWORK!

[LydiaN586309]

This is totally me EVERY day!!!

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

@LydiaN586309 Welcome!

[LydiaN586309]

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