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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 51 of 257

@DaveMcK wrote:

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*****************************************

Here's my sentence:

 

That whippersnapper is a nincompoop who doesn't know his doohickey from a whatnot!

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Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 52 of 257

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 53 of 257

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 54 of 257

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Message 55 of 257

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 56 of 257

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 57 of 257

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 58 of 257
Signs that you have grown up, not just old!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog/cat Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate her instead of asking "How did that Happen!!?!
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old self. 

 

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Message 59 of 257

Dear Dave,

I remember every last thing on that list.  So I guess I am officially older than dirt!

Thank you, D-a-v-i-d!!!

 

 

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Message 60 of 257

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I got all  17!

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