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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 611 of 2,648

I offer my opponents a bargain; 

 

If they stop telling lies about us,

 

I will stop telling the truth about them. 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 612 of 2,648

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter Scale hits the Middle East.

 

Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.

 

Iraq, Iran, and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know where to start with providing help to rebuild.

 

The rest of the world is in shock.

 

Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.

 

Saudi Arabia is sending oil & monetary assistance.

 

Latin American countries are sending clothing.

 

New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.

 

The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the infrastructure.

 

President Trump, not to be outdone, is sending replacement Muslims. 

 

 

 

 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 613 of 2,648

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,997 Views
Message 614 of 2,648

Dear Lord;

 

The last 15 or 20 years have been really tough. You have taken my favorite actor Paul Newman, my favorite actress Liz Taylor, my favorite singer Andy Williams, my favorite author Tom Clancey, and my favorite comedians Robin Williams and Joan Rivers....

 

I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack OBama, Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. And I have a special place in my heart for Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.

 

Amen 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 615 of 2,648

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 616 of 2,648

WHEN I WAS A BOY I WAS TOLD THAT ANYBODY COULD BECOME PRIME

 

MINISTER OR PRESIDENT, I'M BEGINNING TO BELIEVE IT !

 

 

 

Clarrence Darrow

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 617 of 2,648

                                                   NEW ENGLAND GIRLS 

 

 

They can drive in any weatha. 8" of snow is nothin' They can cook a wicked good suppah, an if they have a opinion, you bet your **bleep** your gonna heahrit.

 

They can make a packy run, or pahty with the boys. They love the Pats, Sox, Bruins and Celts. 

 

People say they talk funny, but hey, theah's nothin' wrong with theah grammah.

 

Yep, New England Girls are wicked awesome ! 

 

 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 618 of 2,648

Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy more tunnel. 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 619 of 2,648

Don't make me use uppercase !

 

Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

 

SHHHHH.. that's the sound of nobody caring what you think. 

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Valued Social Butterfly
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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 620 of 2,648

I don't know what your problem is...

 

But I bet it's hard to pronounce.

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