🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[Cadee2719]

I woke up this  morning and saw the emails from you.  I thought "That is not my Nicole!!!! is it?"  I quickly went to the Grief & Loss site and YES IT IS!!!!!!!!  I am writing this between crying and laughing.  I am so HAPPY that you have returned to us.  You have put so much time into this site with all your love, care and devotion.  I felt that YOU were the GLUE that held me together along with many others.  Thank You for coming back to us.  

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Celebrate @SpringIsHereSoHappy the benefits of being 65. You have earned them! Finding a doctor and dentist are positive steps toward taking care of yourself so good for you!

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

So glad to see you back @SpringIsHereSoHappy  I knew you would return! 💜

[jonibee]

I have had a little hiccup in my life with health issues and are addressing them to get back to healthy again..I find that i fall off the wagon eating wise when I get anxious...I am addressing things that have to be fixed around the house and sometimes that along with the day to day running of it can be over whelming..So take it one day at a time and one step at a time..no need to rush unless it's a major issue...I find that there are days when one slips back emotionally and I let the tears flow and go on from there..I still have to find that inner source of strength some days to get things done. Otherwise I'm okay knowing that there is help if i need it..This hot weather hasn't been good for any outside activities as the humidity brings every thing to a stand still ..Hopefully the weather will become that one can deal with it..Life still goes on so I make the best of it any way I can...

[Cadee2719]

Jonibee I truly understand what you are going through.  When my husband of 62 years passed away in October everything in my home began to break!  Having focused on him in home hospice care every day for many, many months I guess I did not pay any attention to anything else.  First my washer, then my stove top, dryer, oven, hot water heater, windshield of my car, electric panel (I am not exaggerating!! )  I was at my wits end and feeling hopeless.  Marcy, along with many others on this site walked me through these disasters and I took one step at a time.  I stopped getting so angry and upset and focused on doing what was necessary to resolve the problems.  I have learned a lot during this process and am now quite proud of myself in feeling that I have accomplished something.  I think we are so vulnerable during this time of grief that these things are just the "straw that breaks the camel's back" but we need to pat ourselves on the back realizing that we are doing it and to be proud of our accomplishments.

[mc6844]

I hope you're feeling better Jonibee. Getting through all these things can wear you down. Taking time to build yourself up is a good idea. Take care!

[MarcyW882921]

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." You @jonibee encounter the rough seas, recognize them, and find ways to get through them the best way you can. Thinking of you and wishing you calmer waters ahead!

Marcy

[CarolD435501]

I AM STILL IN A FOG.....WRITING IN MY JOURNAL HELPS...AND I hope to be more involved in others Grief & Loss  to help us move forward.....GOD help us all........

[mc6844]

Sounds good Carol. You have a nice day now!

[MarcyW882921]

Hi @CarolD435501 . Embrace the FOG. Your loss is so new that this is a way your body can protect you. Since you mentioned that writing in your journal helps, there is a book Mindfulness & Grief by Heather Stang and you may want to check it out. It is an 8-week program that incorporates mindfulness, meditation, and journal writing. It gave me a focused task to do each day and a sense that I had accomplished something.

Strive to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually and know that you are not alone!

[mc6844]

Hi Carol. So nice to hear from you here. Expressing your thoughts and feelings in a journal is an immense help and path to emotional well being. Plus it's your own little place to put your innermost thoughts. And track your progress. Keeping up with things on a daily basis helps to feel grounded in the present day. One foot in front of the other, works. You will feel better soon. Don't forget to eat little meals or snacks throughout the day to keep depression at bay. Thank you for sharing Carol. The people here can help you!

[BillH490171]

Going pretty well for me given the time so far.  I'm able to do most things and talk about my wife's passing more easily but still get choked up.  I think progress is finding less tissues in the washer :).  I'm still reading books on grief to understand it.  For me, learning about it does not reduce the pain or the time but at least I know it normal etc. I started talking to a counselor who's pretty good. I was skeptical at first since she is younger than youngest child (26 vs 28) but so far she's helpful.  I just settling in for a long journey.  I did realize that talking to my Dad who's almost 90 about my situation was not helpful so we talk about other things.

Take care, Bill

[MarcyW882921]

It sounds @BillH490171 that you are making progress. However we reach an understanding that we are not crazy and what we are feeling is normal is a giant step in the grieving process.

Marcy

[BillH490171]

Marcy, thanks for the kind words and you are correct.  We need to realize, understand, and acknowledge our new lives.  It tough because in many cases, our lives were pretty good. We did not ask for this change but have the sole responsibility to get through it.

Slowly learning about grief, Bill 

[mc6844]

Bill, you hit the nail on the head. And why this site is so helpful. The focus is on the loss and grief process. Whereas talking to family or the very elderly can have a scattered focus. They have their own issues to deal with, and though perhaps have dealt with loss, it's not an issue for them in the present time. Counselors are a good idea. At 73, most everywhere I go these days people are younger than me  lol. One of my adult children is a kayaker. Kayakers are generally friendly and invite solo kayakers to join them on the lakes etc. Getting out like that is a refreshing respite from the pain of loss. 

[Cadee2719]

This site has changed.  It is simply a "shell" of what it was.  First, we are attacked by a person that belittles us for grieving and then we lose the one person that kept us together as a group, checking on us each day and finding ways to cheer us up.  You can see that no one is interested in being on this site any longer.  It is sad that the one place we felt safe is now one we avoid.

[mc6844]

Cadee how are you? Please let us know!

[Cadee2719]

Hi.  It is good to see a lot of my original friends returning to this site.  All of you have been so helpful to me and I know the new people on this site will benefit from your advice. I have begun to read WIDOW TO WIDOW again.  I think the first time I read it I was not able to focus and comprehend the good advice given.  I am seriously considering relocating to another state near family.  It is a HUGE decision to make and will involve many steps to accomplish.  I still have days where I struggle and am sad.  I truly wonder if I will ever recover from losing my husband, son and brother.  I tell myself they are in a better place, my husband is no longer suffering and they would want me to be happy and to move on with my life.  Some days I feel so guilty, then others I remind myself that there is no time schedule and that I must take it one day at a time and do the best I can.  I will continue on this journey.  Thank You for checking on me.  

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you @Cadee for your update. I can't imagine having to cope with the compounding losses that you have had and I think of you often. You are right that there is no time schedule and taking whatever time is needed to think through huge decisions sounds like a logical plan.

Marcy

[mc6844]

So nice to hear from you Cadee! Take care.

[mc6844]

Cadee I hope you continue with the group. House etc has been keeping me busy and also tiring but I think your experience is valuable to those that need it. Please continue to share your journey! Take care.

[MarcyW882921]

I guess I missed some of what you were talking about @Cadee2719 but I certainly understand the part about the one person that kept us together as a group. That person is certainly missed. There are however, still people who come here in need of support and those with valuable experiences to share. I hope that we can continue to utilize the forum as a safe space to provide and receive support from one another.

[mc6844]

Life is ever changing and so we adapt. I also think this group serves a valuable purpose. The focus is on grief/loss. As opposed to other groups where the focus is scattered. Which can leave you feeling at odds. There's a sense of real help here. The sharing of grief/loss is affirmed. Many grieving people skip this first important part. And continue to grieve searching for affirmation. There's no timetable to grieving. But I think it's a process. Worthy of repeating to the next step of the grieving process. I hope everyone continues with the group. Thank you all for being here!

[Cadee2719]

I agree.  Having lost three of the most important people in my life within months, I came to this site seeking help. The people here were so patient and kind to me.  I relied on them to get through each waking day.  Without them, I would not have made it.  They referred me to books to read, told me about their experiences in dealing with the aftermath of loss,  and even found ways to make me smile and laugh.  They took time from their busy days to reach out to me and for that I will always be appreciative.  I hope this site will continue to be helpful to those that reach out for help.  I know that you, Marcy ,Beatlelover and Nicole and others)  are certainly the ones that have helped me and will help others.  Thank You for your kindness.

[MarcyW882921]

You @Cadee2719 have helped me too! Knowing you and others were out there when I needed to know someone was listening has been a saving grace for me. May we continue to be here for each other in whatever way we can. ❤️🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

So glad to see your post @Cadee2719 

Thank you for your kind words. And know that you have helped me as well. Everyone on here has saved me 

at one time or another. For that I’m 

eternally grateful 💜

[mc6844]

How are you Beatle? Please take a minute to let us know. Taking care of your parents is very good of you. And a lot to cope with along with your recent loss. 

[mc6844]

And we are grateful for you Beatle!