WE ARE SORRY about your loss 💛

[SummerOnTheWay1]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief & Loss Team  🤗

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👖‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👕‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌     When YOU feel READY, go through your loved one’s clothes and other personal items.

(1) Instead of parting with everything at once, you might make three piles: one to keep, one to give away, and one “not sure.” Ask your children or others to help.

(2) Think about setting aside items such as a special piece of clothing, watch, favorite book, or picture to give to your children or grandchildren as personal reminders of your loved one.

*** Do what feels right for you!!! ‌‌👍‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💤‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌😴‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   NOT Sleeping At Nights?

Try to "nap" during the day.

Why?

Even a FEW MINUTES of "shut eye" will help with YOUR sadness. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Try NOT to "worry" on those SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. Just get up & find something to do. Then try again later.

Luv,

Nicole ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💡‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   A Suggestion!!!

Explore YOUR area to find spots that may bring you COMFORT.

Some of us DREAD the old familiar hangouts we had with our luv ones.

Maybe one day WE will be able to visit them WITHOUT tears. But until then, EACH day maybe "act" like a TOURIST.

SO MANY possibilities out there.

SO MANY new friends to meet.

You got this!!!  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole   ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   (Grief Forum)‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤔‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ ‌  On those days/nights when YOU wonder WHY you are still here???

*** YOU are still here for the folks who CARE ABOUT YOU (they are still alive)!!!

(1) So get out of bed EVERY DAY, hug them, tell them you CARE.

(2) This way when YOU ARE GONE, mixed in with THEIR GRIEVING will be GOOD MEMORIES.

(3) Parents [I am one] OUR KIDS [even adults] need their ONE PARENT - you.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🕯‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  DECISIONS that often cause people distress!!!

*** Please "take your time" with these decisions & deal with life the "best" YOU CAN. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

(1) When to SORT through their loved one's belongings.

(2) Whether or not to take OFF their wedding ring.

(3) When to RETURN to work.

(4) How often to VISIT the cemetery.

(5) Whether or not to SELL or move.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌   Did YOU take a step TODAY/TONIGHT? Tell us about YOUR STEP!!!

Sometimes it maybe a half a step (not quite where we hoped to be, but you TRIED). ‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌

Those half steps do "help" with moving past your grief = finding peace & comfort.

*** EVERYONE'S step will be DIFFERENT. For some of us, just "getting" out of bed is a CHALLENGE. Celebrate that step when YOU DO!!! And keep on "stepping" IF you can into a DAY/NIGHT FULL OF "possible" comfort & peace. You got this my friend!!! ‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌

Grief & Loss Team ‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

MEN and Grief!!!

Research shows men may suffer more intensely after losing a spouse, often requiring specific outreach and support.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌❌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌️    Myth:

Grieving should last about a YEAR.

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌✅‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌️    Fact:

There is NO specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes DIFFERS from person to person.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🏡‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   The EXPERTS tell us to WAIT before making Housing Decisions!!!

Why?

While WE ARE GRIEVING, sometimes we tend to make "decisions" based on OUR EMOTIONS.

We want the "memories" to NOT hurt!!!

Maybe "step away" from YOUR Housing Setup & stay with family/friends.

Use THIS TIME to deal with the stuff that CANNOT WAIT.

Then REVISIT the Housing Topic.

Some of us stayed put & made changes.

Some of us downsized as finances had changed.

Some of us relocated to be near to family.

DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU ALWAYS.

Grief  & Loss Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

💰  Finances WHILE GRIEVING!!!

I don't know about you guys, but boy was I "blindsided" when I lost the luv of my life!!! 😱

We are used to TWO "handling" the finances, but got "bumped" to ONE.

(1) 1st, try NOT to panic. Easier said than done, I know!!!

(2) Deal with what needs to be done RIGHT NOW!!! Things like the cell phone bill, rent/mortgage, water, electric, internet - CALL them. Most will give you some "grace" with what you OWE or WILL OWE with the coming month.

(3) Let the folks who CARE about you KNOW what "financial" help you may need. A simple GIFTCARD or CASH to get groceries, gas, prescriptions are a lifeline.

(4) Then make a list of what is RELATED to "burying" or cremating your luv one. ALWAYS check to see what they may have. In my case I am paying on my FUTURE cremation. Started late at age 67, but glad I did. This way something is in place to "help" my only child.

(5) The main thing here is to have somewhere SAFE to live dear friend. No need to get "evicted" or foreclosed. So try NOT to wait to CONTACT the folks you OWE. Do this ASAP. 👍

[SummerOnTheWay1]

ABOUT OUR GROUP!!!

Peer SUPPORT: Connect with others in similar situations on the AARP Grief & Loss Forum, an active online community where members share stories and offer MUTUAL COMFORT.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🐈‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌    CAT OWNERS, our babies are "missing" our luv one just as much as we are.

So try to make some EXTRA time to "cuddle" with them.

TOGETHER you will BOTH "move" forward the best you can.

*** Mister, my cat along with my "only" child (a daughter in a different state from me) are MY REASONS for "creating" ways to MOVE FORWARD. Find yours!!!

Nicole ‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🐕‌‌‌‌‌‌‌    DOG OWNERS, a "daily" walk will help BOTH of you with "missing" your luv one. Yes, pets do "grieve" like we do.

And the "exercise" will aid with sleeping at nights.

*** A GREAT way to "connect" with OTHER dog owners & "possible" NEW friends.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌➡️‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌[*** PLAN AHEAD for grief “triggers".

Anniversaries, holidays, and important milestones can reawaken painful memories and feelings. BE PREPARED for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. You can plan ahead by making sure that you’re not alone, for example, or by marking your loss in a creative way.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

You don’t necessarily need COUNSELING!!!

Often, well-meaning friends and relatives will urge you to attend a SUPPORT GROUP, or go to see a GRIEF COUNSELOR.

Although taking such steps might make you feel better, it’s certainly not a requirement for healing.

According to a 2008 survey, most grief seems to go away on ITS OWN.

‌‌‌➡️‌‌‌[*** COMPLICATED GRIEF.

Counseling can be helpful, however, for people whose grief has already lasted a long time and who are likely suffering from a condition called "complicated grief."

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌📌‌‌  Birthdays, anniversaries or holidays can trigger intense feelings of GRIEF.

It may help to mark these occasions with a SIMPLE CEREMONY like:

(1) Lighting a candle.

(2) Playing music.

(3) Gathering with family.

*** Do what brings you COMFORT!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🪔   While GRIEVING, it's important to spend time with SUPPORTIVE people to:

(1) Talk about how you are feeling.

(2) Accept offers of help.

(3) Simply be together.

➡️[*** Your support may come from a Support Group or Counselor. Try to find people who UNDERSTAND you.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌♻️‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   What are YOU dealing with at THE MOMENT? ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

NEVER feel ashamed about any challenges you are facing.

WE ALL will have them at some point of our lives.

*** Stop by to SHARE when you feel up to it and/or SUPPORT another griever (with a comment to their post). Members helping members. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

We are ALWAYS here IF you need us (listen & chat & support).

Grief & Loss Team ‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌💡‌‌  While GRIEVING, set a regular routine to do something SPECIAL for yourself every day.

You can try:

(1) Going for a walk.

(2) Meditating.

(3) Taking time to relax.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌     Because you are GRIEVING you may "feel" unable to "reply" to (support) ANOTHER GRIEVER here in the AARP Grief & Loss Forum.

But doing so (replying) has helped ALL of OUR GROUP members "feel" more in control of THEIR GRIEF.

Why?

Maybe because being a GRIEVER themselves = they know what TO SAY = comforting someone else "fills" THEIR INSIDES with "feeling" they have HELPED someone.

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by when you can.

Grief & Loss Team!

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌🕯‌‌  If you have lost someone, HONORING their memory may help you process your emotions.

You can try:

(1) Collecting photos or keepsakes.

(2) Writing a letter to the person who died.

(3) Sharing stories and rituals with loved ones.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

🔍     If you are looking for local, in-person support groups or specialized professionals, consider reaching out to your primary care provider for a local behavioral health referral. Or contact a nearby bereavement center, which frequently offers community grief support programs.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌♻️‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌   Stop by to SHARE YOUR JOURNEY!!!

WE will ALWAYS leave a comment in response to YOUR POST. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Sharing "may" HELP with our healing and "may" also HELP another griever who stops by = members supporting members.

*** They will KNOW there are OTHERS out there and "may" find YOUR solutions to YOUR grief works for them. Thank you for CARING about others. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Grief & Loss Team ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerOnTheWay1]

About the AARP Grief & Loss Forum!!!

A dedicated, public forum where members SHARE personal stories, find DAILY encouragement, and CONNECT with others navigating SIMILAR losses.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌🕯‌   Expand While GRIEVING: Eventually, you will reach a point where you can imagine a future that brings you excitement and joy again. This involves growing into new dreams and finding meaning in your altered life trajectory. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

OUR GROUP DISCUSSION!!!

What helps you on those SLEEPLESS nights? 🤔

👣   Keep stepping my friends = WE will get MORE SLEEP as time passes I promise.

➡️[*** Me, lighting an AROMATIC "Bath & Body Works" candle is one option.

Then "blow it out" when I BEGIN to feel sleepy.

I also GET OUT OF BED & find something to "read" or do (chores,AARP Rewards Activities).

Then CLIMB BACK INTO BED when I get "sleepy".

The MORNINGS are the "worst" after one of these nights IF I have to be somewhere.

It is like MY ALARM GOES OFF just when I start my zzz's.

Those mornings are a "test" of my determination to get things done IN SPITE of being TOTALLY EXHAUSTED.

Nicole 💛🤗

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌📍‌   Build While GRIEVING: Slowly create a new daily routine. Reclaiming your independence by tackling tasks your spouse used to do—such as cooking, handling finances, or learning DIY skills—can help rebuild your self-esteem and self-trust. 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

LIVE IN THE MOMENT while grieving!!!

Right now is your chance to take 1 step towards MOVING FORWARD in "creating" a new life WITHOUT your luv one.

Yes, it hurts.

Yes, we maybe angry.

Yes, we have NO idea what the FUTURE holds for us as we travel through our GRIEF.

But RIGHT NOW, is an "opportunity" to either "give up" or continue to travel.

You got this my friend. ‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole ‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌ (Grief Forum)

[SummerOnTheWay1]

‌‌📜‌‌   "Whoever said that loss gets EASIER with time was a liar. Here's what really happens: The spaces between the times you miss them grow LONGER. Then, when you do remember to miss them again, it's still with a stabbing PAIN to the heart. And you have GUILT. Guilt because it's been too long since you missed them last." KRISTIN O'DONNELL TUBB.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

FOR FOLKS (grieving) ON MEDICARE!!!

Sometimes Individual Counseling "helps" us to REGAIN some "control" of our lives as we TRY to survive our grief.

Medicare covered MONTHLY sessions for me for as long as needed.

Just make sure your PRIMARY doctor REFERS you & always CALL Medicare to make sure EVERYTHING will be covered.

We DONOT need any "surprise" bills to add to our stress.

Nicole ‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌‌