Spending Independence without Your Loved One(s)

[SueS788527]

Another holiday to spend without your loved one(s), yes there are others who have suffered more than one loss over the last few years.  I have been thinking about past 4th of July celebrations, generally festive and fun, celebration of what summer can offer, casual, eating hot dogs, fireworks, and the list goes on.  As the song goes, “there is always something to remember.”  Hopefully, you can remember something that gives you peace and some sense of happy days with your loved one.  Those around you today, including family and friends, are also remembering and grieving their loss in their own way.  I am beginning to realize grieving is not only about remembering your deceased loved one, but the start of a journey of self-awareness and building a new solo life.  Something like Independence Day.  How fitting to think of the 4th as a day to “celebrate the new beginnings and newfound independence” that many of us did not want to have without our loved one.  We have already tapped into our inner courage and resilience to get this far into the journey.  I am hopeful that I will be open to new possibilities and fellowship that are waiting for me.  I wish the same for you.  Happy 4th of July to all.  Your friend, Sue 

[BeatleloverKT]

@SueS788527 Appreciate your wise words. July

is a horrible month for me as it is also his BD

month. I have found that so many holidays which

held special meaning have now just become a

regular day. Not that I like it but it is just my new

norm. Never did I think I’d be eating a frozen

chicken pot pie by myself on July 4th. With my

oldest in KY and my youngest very social with

his gf, I am often alone. A far cry from what my

holidays were like when he was alive

[mc6844]

Hi Beatle  I'm sorry July isn't so great. Phone calls or video chats are good when in-person visits  aren't viable. I know it takes effort to reach out. Others in family may be having a tougher time with loss than I thought. Loss itself changes so many things. Family times feel splintered. What helps me is knowing that life is fluid. It has it's own energy. Some days I just have to grab on. I have a friend who says we always have to plan for our future. Wherever that future may be. It's somewhere for sure. 

[BillH490171]

Sue, thanks for the message and look to the future.  It seems hard to shift into the next phase while still figuring out how to remember by spouse.  The Fourth was always a holiday we'd go to Ohio and be with her Dad.  Happy Fourth as well and it's another "first" in a year of "firsts.

Bill

[mc6844]

Thank you Sue for your words of faith and courage. And reminders of others additional losses and that particular pain. It's possible to find moments of happiness and peace during these times. I hope everyone has a safe and peaceful 4th!