New Widow

[ivanmoer]

My husband died three weeks ago today.  I had been his sole caretaker for the past two years.  He had advanced dementia and phisical problems for getting around.  I had In-Home Hospice care the last two months which was wonderful.  As we had always planned he died at home, never wanting to go to a care unit.  We were a second marriage and together for 33 years.  Our combined family of 11 children have been very helpful as well as my church community.  I have signed up to goto a drop in grief suppport group.  Problems with Social Security and insurance policies have been fairly easy for which I am thankful.  My faith and family are seeing me through this tough time.

[WebWiseWoman]

@ivanmoer My thoughts are with you and your family during this time.

When my father passed over 35 years ago, my mother stood strong for all of us kids (my sis-in law and I both 7 months pregnant at the time; we were also a blended family of his and her two marriages each).

After the initial attention from well-meaning family and friends, she withdrew into her job and home, and almost fell into dependency on alcohol, which we saw but didn't recognize.

One day about 6 months later, she woke, found a grief support group, and never looked back; she went on to attain her JD and volunteered with CASA for many rewarding years.

So I think reaching out now is a great idea for you. Don't forget, to be there for those 11 amazing children you and he share, no matter their ages, emotionally you must take care of you. You may discover through support groups, as my mother did, new ideas and new interests that will bring you fulfillment to fill the void his loss has left.

Best regards, thank you for being the wonderful care-giver you were, and stay strong; it can get better, even though at times it may not feel that way...

#VegasStrong

[GailL1]

@ivanmoer 

Thinking about you and your journey - I find some poems very comforting.

We’ve known lots of pleasure, At times endured pain,
We’ve lived in the sunshine And walked in the rain.

But now we’re separated And for a time apart,
But I am not alone, You’re forever in my heart.

Death always seems so sudden, And it is always sure,
But what is oft’ forgotten, It is not without a cure.

There may be times you miss me, I sort of hope you do,
But smile when you think of me, For I’ll be waiting for you.

Now there’s many things for you to do, And lots of ways to grow,
So get busy, be happy, and live your life, Miss me, but let me go.

Anonymous