AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Lost my mom - Page 3

Stephen74Utah · ‎06-30-2025

10 years ago my mom had a heart attack and I started taking care of her. It's been an up and down path. 6 years ago we moved where we're at now hoping to be closer to family. 4 years ago her kidneys start to fail. She had to start doing dialysis. On June 8th 2025 you passed away. For the last 6 years I haven't worked I've just been taking care of her. Now I have nothing except our cats. I'm going to end up homeless losing everything. By dealing with my own mental health I'm 50 years old. I got three older brothers but they've never helped now that she's gone they just ignoring me. I feel so lost. She wasn't just my mom she was my best friend. She leaned on me and I leaned on her. now I don't know how to go forward.

JaneCares · ‎08-13-2025

Hey Stephen74Utah, you are dealing with a lot all at once, and as you know, our 'system' of support for people with few resources is pretty broken. It sounds like you are doing everything right: appealing the Social Security denial, reaching out to your nephew and his family.

When your mother was still with you, what did they two of you plan for? Did she leave you any of her savings or other assets?

Since that attorney is asking for $2,500, which is a lot for most of us, I wonder if you've tried Legal Aide in Utah? (801) 328-8891 is the number. Are you by any chance part of the Church of Latter Day Saints? Those folks are extremely generous.

I hope that your counselor is part of a wider agency that can help with the paperwork, applications to programs, etc. It's overwhelming even for us social workers! and you are grieving.

Please keep writing to tell us how you are.

with great respect,

Jane

Stephen74Utah · ‎08-14-2025

Basically the money is actually more than that it's closer to $4k. Basically what that encompasses is the rent July plus late fees and August plus late fees. Top of that is the legal fees. And yes the church tried to help but the amount they were able to give is only enough for one month and the lawyers that they have will only accept the two months. I completely understand all of that. It's just if I was making 2 to $3,000 a week I wouldn't have any of these problems. Hahaha

Stephen74Utah · ‎08-31-2025

August 31st 2025 update

My babies and I are homeless now.. My cats are staying with somebody that was kind enough to watch them I'm staying at a place both are temporary then we'll be back into my vehicle. I've been abandoned, forgot and unloved by most of my family. The place I'm staying so they want to make me feel safe and give me support I feel neither of those. All I feel is sorrow, fear, loneliness, grief and depression. Being separated from my babies tearing me apart. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about my mom laying on the floor. Just ripping my heart apart. I'm so lost.

SummerOnTheWay1 · ‎08-31-2025

Dear Stephen @Stephen74Utah , I feel your pain dear friend. Now age 67, but was "homeless" right before I turned 60.

(1) What are your counselors doing to "help" you?

(2) So glad someone "kind" is fostering your furbabies. 🐈🐈🐈

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** STEPHEN

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
August 31st 2025 update
My babies and I are homeless now.. My cats are staying with somebody that was kind enough to watch them I'm staying at a place both are temporary then we'll be back into my vehicle. I've been abandoned, forgot and unloved by most of my family. The place I'm staying so they want to make me feel safe and give me support I feel neither of those. All I feel is sorrow, fear, loneliness, grief and depression. Being separated from my babies tearing me apart. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about my mom laying on the floor. Just ripping my heart apart. I'm so lost.

Stephen74Utah · ‎08-31-2025

The counselor isn't doing anything and I just found out that he has a PHD so he's actually a doctor. Last time I talked to him was the day I became homeless he has my phone number but he hasn't bothered to even check up on me I've left him two messages. And with the holiday weekend you probably taking a 4-day weekend. I don't even have phone service other than a government phone which has extremely limited call service. But as of right now at least my fur babies and myself have roofs over our heads. They also have plenty to eat can't say the same for myself I'm broke. And this place only supplies food for dinner and that's it. One day at a time I guess

SummerOnTheWay1 · ‎08-31-2025

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , with being "homeless" you should be able to get EMERGENCY Snap benefits. Have you "applied" - where I stayed for 13 months here in Virginia (Roanoke Rescue Mission) helped with this.

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** STEPHEN

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
The counselor isn't doing anything and I just found out that he has a PHD so he's actually a doctor. Last time I talked to him was the day I became homeless he has my phone number but he hasn't bothered to even check up on me I've left him two messages. And with the holiday weekend you probably taking a 4-day weekend. I don't even have phone service other than a government phone which has extremely limited call service. But as of right now at least my fur babies and myself have roofs over our heads. They also have plenty to eat can't say the same for myself I'm broke. And this place only supplies food for dinner and that's it. One day at a time I guess

Stephen74Utah · ‎09-01-2025

I'm already getting snaps but it doesn't refresh itself until the 11th. I can try to get a hold of them and see if there's some kind of emergency to go with it and maybe some other things like the financial aid.

SummerOnTheWay1 · ‎09-01-2025

Hi Stephen @Stephen74Utah , if you are already receiving SNAPS, you will NOT get more. I know from being homeless myself, eating WITHOUT a kitchen GETS EXPENSIVE as you are buying "prepared" food = NO cooking required.

Are there any CHURCHES or maybe the Salvation Army NEAR you?

In my area, they provide breakfast - lunch & dinner for anyone who NEEDS IT.

What are you needing the Financial Aid for? Depending on your "reason" = some may be available to you.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** STEPHEN

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
I'm already getting snaps but it doesn't refresh itself until the 11th. I can try to get a hold of them and see if there's some kind of emergency to go with it and maybe some other things like the financial aid.

Stephen74Utah · ‎09-01-2025

Well the place I'm staying offers lunch and free dinner the lunch does cost a dollar. The financial aid can help because I can they will put money on to the same card as snap and I can use that to buy stuff like clothes or hygiene products. There is a church here well where I'm at there's a ton of them. They've already helped out a lot. The local Bishop has paid my car insurance which is a bright side. So I don't have to worry about that right now I have fuel, I have insurance, I have my license and my truck is registered. I just have a hard time finding bright sides.

SummerOnTheWay1 · ‎09-01-2025

One step at a time Stephen @Stephen74Utah & remember your darling "furbabies" LUV YOU. 🐈🐈

Maybe the folks who are helping you may have some ideas on permanent housing.

But while you are working on this - pat yourself on your back for continuing to figure out your life.

Maybe see if there is counseling available since your previous counselor is not responding.

My monthly sessions help to keep me balanced.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️*** STEPHEN

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
Well the place I'm staying offers lunch and free dinner the lunch does cost a dollar. The financial aid can help because I can they will put money on to the same card as snap and I can use that to buy stuff like clothes or hygiene products. There is a church here well where I'm at there's a ton of them. They've already helped out a lot. The local Bishop has paid my car insurance which is a bright side. So I don't have to worry about that right now I have fuel, I have insurance, I have my license and my truck is registered. I just have a hard time finding bright sides.

Stephen74Utah · ‎09-02-2025

I pretty much been living on survival mode and I haven't really had time to grieve. They're having my mom's service coming soon. I can't even go. They keep pushing me to go over to a place and fill out an application to get a job. So I can stay at a place that only charges rent based on percentage of what you make. I feel like everybody's pushing and nobody's listening. I'm trying to go one day at a time. But I think the grieving has started. All I've done this morning is think about my mom and cry.