Loss of husband of many years

[LoisG977191]

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share.

[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[LoisG977191 · Accepted solution]

Thank you so much for your support and advice. I'm glad I joined this forum.

[iLuvAutumn · Accepted solution]

Oh YES @LoisG977191 , those "memories" - some days I am crying my eyes out, others I am okay.  👣  Keep stepping!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS wrote: Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support. ***]

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[LoisG977191 · Accepted solution]

Doing ok. Good days and bad ones. Sometimes memories trigger sadness and others generate a big smile.

[iLuvAutumn]

Dear Lois @LoisG977191 , YOU are in my thoughts today my friend.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

Dear Lois @LoisG977191 , I cannot believe 3 more months left of this year 2024. HOPING they are full of peace and hope dear friend.

THIS IS AN INVITATION to stop by our NEW Grief & Loss Support Group. Link and info below. ***🔽

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Friends-Family/A-Place-To-Be-With-OTHERS-Who-Are-Grieving-WE-support-e...

Sharing thoughts on caring for oneself, making doctor appointments (and the difficulty in doing so), discussing relocating, dealing with finances and life's decisions are all important issues to discuss. These are all a part of being alone and having to make big decisions for ourselves (perhaps for the very first time). Once one "accepts" the reality of being alone, it is difficult to have to make these decisions for ourselves ALONE. Hearing how others do it and have done it has been extremely helpful to me. Accepting the loss is NOT the end of this journey. Listening to tapes and reading books does not always offer the personal touch needed at times. Having someone make us smile and knowing there are people out there that truly do care about you is a gift.

[iLuvAutumn]

"In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot now realize that you will ever feel better.

And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say, and you need only to believe it to feel better at once.”

ABRAHAM LINCOLN

[iLuvAutumn]

Dear Lois @LoisG977191 I am thinking of YOU today  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Same here Lois, hope you are feeling better. Take care!

[iLuvAutumn]

How are you doing dear Lois @LoisG977191 , Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

Hi Lois @LoisG977191 , how are YOU doing? Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

Thanks for your kind remarks. I am doing somewhat better, and I keep especially busy with activities. I like your name...Summer is always too hot for me. Like that I live in a cooler climate.

[iLuvAutumn]

Lois @LoisG977191 , I am thinking of YOU!!!

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

You are so thougtful!

[iLuvAutumn]

How are YOU doing Lois @LoisG977191 ?

Nicole🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191 · Accepted solution]

Doing ok. Good days and bad ones. Sometimes memories trigger sadness and others generate a big smile.

[LoisG977191]

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support.

[iLuvAutumn · Accepted solution]

Oh YES @LoisG977191 , those "memories" - some days I am crying my eyes out, others I am okay.  👣  Keep stepping!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS wrote: Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support. ***]

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[mc6844]

Lois, I'm so sorry for your loss. The missing is difficult and painful. I'm glad you're stopping in at the forum. Expressing your grief a little at a time will help to lighten your days. 

[LoisG977191 · Accepted solution]

Thank you so much for your support and advice. I'm glad I joined this forum.

[mc6844 · Accepted solution]

Lois, this is a good forum. Thoughtful people and kindness. I hope it makes you feel better. We all have days of trying times. There are certain things to deal with whether I had the grief or not.  It's a day at a time. Take care!

[iLuvAutumn]

Hi Lois @LoisG977191 , I am so sorry for your loss and I am ALWAYS here for you!!!

[1] To me, it is a DAILY journey and I have learn't to take 1 step at a time.

[2] Do you have anyone there with you? I don't but texting and calling my only child in Florida helps. I am in Virginia.

[3] We do have a DAILY CHAT THREAD and we would luv to have you join us when and IF you are interested.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS wrote: My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share. ***]

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[LoisG977191]

Thank you for your kindness. I do text my sister and son a great deal and have joined various community groups. It does help little by little. Bless you.

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much for all the advice!

[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much!  Appreciate your support. I'm living alone but gave a sweet dog that helps me at times.