Loss of husband of many years

[LoisG977191]

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share.

[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 , I am so sorry for your loss and I am ALWAYS here for you!!!

[1] To me, it is a DAILY journey and I have learn't to take 1 step at a time.

[2] Do you have anyone there with you? I don't but texting and calling my only child in Florida helps. I am in Virginia.

[3] We do have a DAILY CHAT THREAD and we would luv to have you join us when and IF you are interested.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share. ***]

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[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 , THIS MAY HELP YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@AARPsneed wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

• The AARP  Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. ET.   
• The AARP Virtual Community Center  FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun. 
• Local AARP events — Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org
• Learning Library — Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org
• Senior Planet — For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org  
• Movies for Grownups — Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies
• Find articles and resources from experts - Help Guide on Grief & Loss 
• If you find yourself struggling with Isolation  
• A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing 
• Grief Support and Groups 
  Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you
  Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral. 
  Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

AARPSneed

AARP Social Response Team

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[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Thursday 4/19/24)

Oh YES @LoisG977191 , those "memories" - some days I am crying my eyes out, others I am okay.  👣  Keep stepping!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support. ***]

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[SummerIsTooHOT]

Lois @LoisG977191 , how are you doing? Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

Thanks for your kind remarks. I am doing somewhat better, and I keep especially busy with activities. I like your name...Summer is always too hot for me. Like that I live in a cooler climate.

[SummerIsTooHOT]

SO GOOD to hear from you Lois @LoisG977191 !!!  💃💃💃

NO pressure, but here are two LINKS for you BELOW. Marcy and Cadee stay very busy and it does help. Lol, me - I NEED to get busy.  🙄🙄🙄

I do change my username and picture for each season. My favorites are Spring and Fall. Here in Cave Spring, Virginia the Summers are not as HOT as Florida where I use to live. GRATEFUL!!!

🔊  Every Month FREE AARP "Grief & Loss" Online Events for Non-Members/Members!

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Grief-Loss/Every-Month-FREE-AARP-quot-Grief-amp-Loss-quot-Online-Event...

‌‌‌‌‌‌🗣  OUR DAILY CHATS ABOUT LIFE!!!

[1] Stop by to chat when you feel up to it. WE share OUR good    and/or bad news.  

[2] NO rules or judgement here.

[3] We support EVERYONE who stops by.

[4] Nicole stops by EVERY DAY to wish everyone Good Morning, Goodnight and to share whatever is going on in her life EACH DAY. YOU are ALWAYS welcome to do the same.  

The Grief & Loss Team  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗🤗🤗

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Grief-Loss/A-Place-To-Be-With-OTHERS-Who-Are-Grieving-WE-support-each-...

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Thanks for your kind remarks. I am doing somewhat better, and I keep especially busy with activities. I like your name...Summer is always too hot for me. Like that I live in a cooler climate. ***]

[SummerIsTooHOT]

1 comment (FRIDAY 4/26/24)

@LoisG977191 , I am thinking of YOU!!!

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191]

You are so thougtful!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

APRIL 2024-3 comments (Thursday 4/18/24)

How are you doing @LoisG977191 ?

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LoisG977191 · Accepted solution]

Doing ok. Good days and bad ones. Sometimes memories trigger sadness and others generate a big smile.

[LoisG977191]

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support.

[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Thursday 4/19/24)

Oh YES @LoisG977191 , those "memories" - some days I am crying my eyes out, others I am okay.  👣  Keep stepping!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

Wow! You guys are the best. I appreciate your concern. I am "okay" for now. Good days and bad days; however, I know this is normal. A memory can trigger a sad response, Thanks for your kind words of support. ***]

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[mc6844]

Lois, I'm so sorry for your loss. The missing is difficult and painful. I'm glad you're stopping in at the forum. Expressing your grief a little at a time will help to lighten your days. 

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much for your support and advice. I'm glad I joined this forum.

[mc6844]

Lois, this is a good forum. Thoughtful people and kindness. I hope it makes you feel better. We all have days of trying times. There are certain things to deal with whether I had the grief or not.  It's a day at a time. Take care!

[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 , I am so sorry for your loss and I am ALWAYS here for you!!!

[1] To me, it is a DAILY journey and I have learn't to take 1 step at a time.

[2] Do you have anyone there with you? I don't but texting and calling my only child in Florida helps. I am in Virginia.

[3] We do have a DAILY CHAT THREAD and we would luv to have you join us when and IF you are interested.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** LOIS @LoisG977191 wrote:

My husband passed away--and it seemed sudden but had a disease for which there was no cure. Even though I try to keep busy I often get very tearful. It's been very painful. I'm sure it's been that way for everyone. And I don't know what to expect from writing this except it feels better to share. ***]

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[LoisG977191]

Thank you for your kindness. I do text my sister and son a great deal and have joined various community groups. It does help little by little. Bless you.

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much for all the advice!

[jonibee · Accepted solution]

I'm so sorry for your loss..Take each day at a time. Dealing with all the paperwork that comes with a passing can be over whelming so prioritize and do the what needs to be done and the others will follow suit..Allow yourself a grieving time as this is part of the healing one must go through..Think of the good times not the bad ...There are books that can help you with the stages of grieving as well as speaking out your thoughts and feelings on this site..You are not alone ..we are here to offer you a shoulder or a hand for your to take..Make sure you eat and carry out with your own health needs..

[LoisG977191]

Thank you so much!  Appreciate your support. I'm living alone but gave a sweet dog that helps me at times. 

[SummerIsTooHOT · Accepted solution]

(Friday 4/12/24)

@LoisG977191 , THIS MAY HELP YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@AARPsneed wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

• The AARP  Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. ET.   
• The AARP Virtual Community Center  FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun. 
• Local AARP events — Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org
• Learning Library — Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org
• Senior Planet — For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org  
• Movies for Grownups — Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies
• Find articles and resources from experts - Help Guide on Grief & Loss 
• If you find yourself struggling with Isolation  
• A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing 
• Grief Support and Groups 
  Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you
  Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral. 
  Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

AARPSneed

AARP Social Response Team

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