Estate help??

[KathrynS231083]

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

[GailL1]

@KathrynS231083 

Sorry for the loss of your Mom - it sounds like she was the heartbeat of the family and the one that kept things going OK.  Did she not make any plans that you know about for you since you are disabled and for your Dad since he is ill?  I know somethings happen quickly and we all have good intention to get it all organized but sometimes just don’t get around to it.  Just hard to keep up with everything.

If your Mom had a Will, was there someone other than you or your Dad listed as the executor or Personal Representative?   If so, that would be your 1st contact person -   If not, you may need help with everything there is to do - especially when it comes to things like Social Security and a Social Security Representative Payee status which she may have had over your Dad and maybe you too since you are disabled.

Then there may be added Social Security benefits for you and/or your Dad if your Mom had a good benefit since now Survivors benefits will be effective but you have to file for them.  You could make an appointment with your local Social Security office and get the required info together to file for Survivors benefits.  

AARP does not recommend any specific attorney but they do have some resources for information.

AARP.org - 08/06/2025 - Does AARP Offer Legal Advice and Resources? 

It sounds like you may need an ELDERCARE attorney and there is a National Association for this type - they may be able to recommend an Eldercare attorney in your area.

National Academy of Elder Care Attorneys  

Then there would be specific social services in your area that you could search to find help specific for your needs and your Dad’s needs - Those would be under your county’s Dept of Aging or Dept of Elderly or even Protective Services depending on the need.  It is all based on what you and your Dad need - maybe they can direct you to the best dept for help.

Just take a breath and do what you can and perhaps learn a bit each day - one foot in front of the other, step by step.

[Winter2025VA]

Gail @GailL1 , thank you SO MUCH for stopping by to support OUR Kathryn @KathrynS231083 !!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[papawofboo]

Years ago AARP had a list of lawyers that would give legal help at a reduced rate. You might want to check with them.

You need a lawyer not a message board.

[Winter2025VA]

Excellent suggestion Papaw @papawofboo !!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2025VA]

Dear Kathryn @KathrynS231083 , sorry for your loss!!! You donot say how old you are, but IF you are a "senior" - contact your local office of aging.

AARP Experts Jane @JaneCares and Amy @agoyer , do you have any "advice" to offer?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** KATHRYN 

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@KathrynS231083 wrote:

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

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