👍 Encouragement!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

[1] You are LUVED.

[2] And you are STRONG.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[SummerIsTooHOT]

How are YOU doing TODAY/TONIGHT?  🤔  Sometimes WE ALL need an encouraging word to remind us that WE WILL BE OKAY on those days/nights we are NOT FEELING OKAY!!!

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👣‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  Keep stepping!!!

[1] "Grief & Loss" Book Suggestions. There is a LIST.

[2] Free AARP "Grief & Loss" Online Events EVERY MONTH for members and non-members. I post the dates and times.

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[3] If you are GRIEVING "right now" - stop by to CHAT whenever you "feel" up to it!!! I am ALWAYS here for you.

[4] DAILY CHATS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT LIFE, NOT JUST ABOUT GRIEF!!!  🙃

*** Any questions, hit reply button below and ask ***

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

[SummerIsTooHOT]

@WebWiseWoman , thank you for info.

@Therapist4u , your humor is ALWAYS welcome here.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Therapist4u]

Nicole

 Thanks 😊

[SummerIsTooHOT]

MC @mc6844 , I am thinking NEXT Memorial Day to find some MILITARY project to get involved here. Yes, I am READY to "explore" this as there is a HUGE and beautiful VA HOSPITAL about 30 minutes from me. The ONLY thing is I DO NOT want any "stress" so it will have to be something where I am APPRECIATED. So NOT repeating my Volunteer Nightmare again.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** @mc6844 wrote:

Memorial Day to me is sad in itself. So many losses for many people and families. Since my recent loss almost a year and a half ago now, I'm thinking today much of those months have passed in a blur. Some things I've done well with, other things not. At my age I know so many widows with worries. And people going through transitions. Nothing stays the same for long now. A friend told me she keeps a journal. I guess I look on the grief forum as my journal. And grateful for this place and people here. It is helpful to read through the posts on those tough days. And leave the grief and sadness, until it pops up again. I believe there's also delayed grief. When our lives were very busy and we didn't have time to go through the process. These days I'm tired of feeling like a piece of Swiss cheese!  Lol ***]

[WebWiseWoman]

Hi, Nicole! Another great post!

Just a note, we (my adult daughters and I) volunteer at Veterans' Cemeteries, which involves zero stress; just helping maintain (e.g., polishing markers, picking up debris), serving as host, guide, information provider, or just placing American flags for commemorative holidays (Memorial Day, D-Day, Veterans' Day...). Strictly on an as available basis, so no set schedule unless one would prefer that.

From the National Park Service site:

"The VA manages 128 National Cemeteries in 39 States and in Puerto Rico. Volunteers are needed here to help maintain the cemeteries and the 2.9 million gravesites. For information on volunteering at National Cemeteries, visit the National Cemetery Administration's Volunteer website or contact a National Cemetery near you."

If there is one near you, this might be an option.

hth

denese

[SummerIsTooHOT]

‌💃‌‌💃‌‌💃‌  Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

[mc6844]

Memorial Day to me is sad in itself. So many losses for many people and families. Since my recent loss almost a year and a half ago now, I'm thinking today much of those months have passed in a blur. Some things I've done well with, other things not. At my age I know so many widows with worries. And people going through transitions. Nothing stays the same for long now. A friend told me she keeps a journal. I guess I look on the grief forum as my journal. And grateful for this place and people here. It is helpful to read through the posts on those tough days. And leave the grief and sadness, until it pops up again. I believe there's also delayed grief. When our lives were very busy and we didn't have time to go through the process. These days I'm tired of feeling like a piece of Swiss cheese!  Lol

[SummerIsTooHOT]

📸  A .gif for YOU  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Thank you for posting your gifs Nicole! They are all so cute and cheering. For those of us no longer up to caring for pets and miss them. I try to drop in at the forum and offer encouragement when I can. I appreciate all the help and support. I keep going at a daily pace. Glad I got some household stuff done before these hot days. It's mostly me and my rechargable fan lol. I'm grateful I can do what I can. At 74 got to be extra careful. Had two recent falls. Both times I was upset about things. Good news is that I could get up lol. 74 is no spring chicken. Detaching from certain things is paramount these days. But that's the way it goes. We get old and have to adjust.

I'm sorry for everyone's losses and struggles on the forum. It's a good place to stop in and give and seek support. A focused forum on loss and grief. I've found our loved ones are nearer than we think. It takes time from the initial stages of grief to realize these things. So like Nicole's gif says Don't Give Up! 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Yes MC @mc6844 , those falls as we AGE are not something we want and GLAD you are okay. Gosh, IF I fell - no one here in Virginia would CARE or even look out IF I called an ambulance. Scary!!! So I TRY to keep things tidy so as NOT to trip. Had a few close calls = moved stuff out of the way. I also NOW use a flashlight for those nights I get up to find the light switch. Never failed, I would "trip" on something in the dark.  😱😱😱

SO GOOD HEARING FROM YOU = made my day VERY SPECIAL!!!  💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC @mc6844 wrote:

Thank you for posting your gifs Nicole! They are all so cute and cheering. For those of us no longer up to caring for pets and miss them. I try to drop in at the forum and offer encouragement when I can. I appreciate all the help and support. I keep going at a daily pace. Glad I got some household stuff done before these hot days. It's mostly me and my rechargable fan lol. I'm grateful I can do what I can. At 74 got to be extra careful. Had two recent falls. Both times I was upset about things. Good news is that I could get up lol. 74 is no spring chicken. Detaching from certain things is paramount these days. But that's the way it goes. We get old and have to adjust.

I'm sorry for everyone's losses and struggles on the forum. It's a good place to stop in and give and seek support. A focused forum on loss and grief. I've found our loved ones are nearer than we think. It takes time from the initial stages of grief to realize these things. So like Nicole's gif says Don't Give Up! ***]

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[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. I got a watch that makes calls. Alert services are pricey. Getting a nightlight is on my list. We don't think we need these things, until we do. Thanks for the reminder! 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

You are welcome MC @mc6844 . Nightlights keep me awake. Lol, already NOT sleeping. Yes, having a way to call is a great idea. Thanks for that reminder. Hmmm, so you have to make sure you are wearing your watch at all times (except in shower). Use to wear one years ago. Now hate them and rings. But now that you mention it - I NEED one.

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** @mc6844 wrote:

Thank you Nicole. I got a watch that makes calls. Alert services are pricey. Getting a nightlight is on my list. We don't think we need these things, until we do. Thanks for the reminder! ***]

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[Therapist4u]

If I fell......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq78BDwCujs&t=50s

[mc6844]

Lol.  You have such a sense of humor!

[Therapist4u]

Hi MC @mc6844 Thanks so much for the compliment! It made my day to know someone cares about what I try to do...send some positivity.... & a little jollity (a real word!) wherever I can...LOL!

I also try to lessen & lighten the impacts of this crazy world....but...when there are serious subjects, then I’m also serious, whether in my life or with others.

Humor can be therapeutic, but not everyone gets it, or wants it, & that is fine! Humor doesn’t always work...ask any standup comedian who just delivered a punch line...only to hear the proverbial ‘crickets’....the dreaded sounds of silence!! LOL!

Anyway, please try to continue to strengthen & heal...& take care! ~Allen

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Angel @coolslick , I AM SO GLAD you have a Social Worker and looking into some addtional help!!!  💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:

🤗You're not kidding it's like talking to your twin...God bless..I feel like sisters..Got it about the pen pal thing , there is no movement on it..having been on a pen pal site before , I was talking to a woman who I thought was a man..nice conversations..never out of line but a scammer all the same...Oh Lord! I don't need drama kings and queens...no one has contacted me and I am just fine with it being you and I..I am exactly the same..I had 3 daughters...lost my middle one 27 years ago at 21..so I have 2 daughters I talk to and would like to not bring my grief to them..they hurt too..I have wonderful conversations with everyone in Walmart. And Now thank God I have you...I am looking into a grief group that has 2 meetings a week, I talked to the Social worker this morning for about an hour...she said I have what's called Stacked Grief..Oh Boy!! do I get that "Old Lady Nap" and love every minute of it...will catch up tomorrow...enjoy the rest of your day...✌️xo  ***]

[coolslick]

Thank you..I am in a very bad frame of mind right now..I need to eat , I am a diabetic , and go out..and I cannot pull myself together...I saw something that went into my heart concerning my ex husband and children's father whom I loved and he loved me back for 55 years..we lost a daugher and the day he passed I lost my last part of her...everytime I see something that reminds me of our 4 year dating years it tears my heart to pieces...it's been almost a year and I cannot get through it...I did remarry but we never lost contact...after my second husband [assed 13 years ago , we rebuilt our relationship, friendship, never moved back in together but the bond and closeness was there...I took care of him the best he would allow me at the end of his life...he was a very I'll Nam vet...

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Hi Angel @coolslick , we are alot ALIKE - your PM to me was like my TWIN was talking.

Try to be YOUR BEST self, cry when needed and on those days you MISS your loved ones - miss them. With time as WE ALLOW ourselves to BE US, our days and nights will GET BETTER I PROMISE.

This AARP Grief & Loss Forum is my DAILY place to come to. Yes, not everyone has been on my Like List, but with time they have made their exit ALLOWING me to ENJOY the folks who CARE.

I am here EVERY DAY Angel.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:

Thank you..I am in a very bad frame of mind right now..I need to eat , I am a diabetic , and go out..and I cannot pull myself together...I saw something that went into my heart concerning my ex husband and children's father whom I loved and he loved me back for 55 years..we lost a daugher and the day he passed I lost my last part of her...everytime I see something that reminds me of our 4 year dating years it tears my heart to pieces...it's been almost a year and I cannot get through it...I did remarry but we never lost contact...after my second husband [assed 13 years ago , we rebuilt our relationship, friendship, never moved back in together but the bond and closeness was there...I took care of him the best he would allow me at the end of his life...he was a very I'll Nam vet... ***]

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[coolslick]

Good morning Nicole,

Thank you..so much for answering me..I am still having a horrible time navigating this site..I have asked for help, haven't gotten it yet..Unless someone writes to me I can't find this page or the page about pen pals..

Since I suffer from multiple traumatic losses I have been in counseling and grief groups off and on for years...this is different...It's not quite a year, but almost...I am trying so hard to get through the hard days. I feel like as I'm missing him and crying that my heart is being torn to shreds...I sob ..at times have an appt and can't get out the door..I think if I can accept it and accept that I have suffered enough losses that maybe I've had it...very little strength left..older , a few health quirks...exhaustion don't help..I need to accept it and let myself feel it and remember it is normal...and will get better..but I lose it...You are my only friend right now and I appreciate you , and am grateful for you...

Luv you back...sending you peace in your heart....🤗

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Good Morning Angel @coolslick . The Penpal Thing has zero to do with me so have no idea how safe it is. I was only trying to help @OldMarriedMan get it up and running. I have since deleted my posts as nothing from him. Please BE CAREFUL ON THIS SITE. Lol, have had various Drama Kings and Queens target me but the AARP Moderators are AWESOME with intervening as needed. You, the Grief & Loss Team (some of them), my daughter and folks I meet at Walmart have ADDED to my life. I am a hermit like you and I ONLY venture out AS NEEDED. Been through TOO MUCH with humans, I NOW TAKE MY TIME with them. As far as doing the daily things - I have my moments of doing them and NOT. I accept the emotions I have NOW and TRUST with TIME I will figure out MORE stuff. My only child was laid off 4/11/24 and just got back from my Mechanic. Lol, TWO things that are a CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW. So this OLD lady is heading for her Old Lady Nap. Time to re-balance and then DECIDE THE REST OF MY DAY.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:

Good morning Nicole,

Thank you..so much for answering me..I am still having a horrible time navigating this site..I have asked for help, haven't gotten it yet..Unless someone writes to me I can't find this page or the page about pen pals..

Since I suffer from multiple traumatic losses I have been in counseling and grief groups off and on for years...this is different...It's not quite a year, but almost...I am trying so hard to get through the hard days. I feel like as I'm missing him and crying that my heart is being torn to shreds...I sob ..at times have an appt and can't get out the door..I think if I can accept it and accept that I have suffered enough losses that maybe I've had it...very little strength left..older , a few health quirks...exhaustion don't help..I need to accept it and let myself feel it and remember it is normal...and will get better..but I lose it...You are my only friend right now and I appreciate you , and am grateful for you...

Luv you back...sending you peace in your heart....🤗  ***]

---

[coolslick]

🤗You're not kidding it's like talking to your twin...God bless..I feel like sisters..Got it about the pen pal thing , there is no movement on it..having been on a pen pal site before , I was talking to a woman who I thought was a man..nice conversations..never out of line but a scammer all the same...Oh Lord! I don't need drama kings and queens...no one has contacted me and I am just fine with it being you and I..I am exactly the same..I had 3 daughters...lost my middle one 27 years ago at 21..so I have 2 daughters I talk to and would like to not bring my grief to them..they hurt too..I have wonderful conversations with everyone in Walmart. And Now thank God I have you...I am looking into a grief group that has 2 meetings a week, I talked to the Social worker this morning for about an hour...she said I have what's called Stacked Grief..Oh Boy!! do I get that "Old Lady Nap" and love every minute of it...will catch up tomorrow...enjoy the rest of your day...✌️xo

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Hi @OldMarriedMan , you have been SUCESSFUL with starting your own Chat  Thread in the AARP Introduce Yourself Forum.

▶️*** VIRTUAL PENPALS (this is your spot to chat, 3 people have been kind and responded to you here).

▶️*** LINK TO YOUR CHAT IS BELOW:

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Introduce-Yourself/Virtual-Pen-Pals/m-p/2556463#M11543

[1] Lee @LeeS4949  and @wilful   had RESPONDED to you. A new member also responded to you.

[2] Suggestion and NO PRESSURE to listen to me:

Why not POST a THANK YOU to them for responding to your post. Lee ALWAYS welcomes NEW folks, a very nice guy and open to PMs from folks on site. Wilful has told you he/she is INTERESTED and shared his/her info with you. Jumping all over the site and posting the same request, in my opinion is not the way to go. The NEW person is open to supporting you.

*** When OTHER people SEE you thanking these 3 people and chatting with them = MORE PEOPLE will stop by to CHAT with you!!! ***

Good luck,

Nicole  👵

---

[*** @OldMarriedMan wrote:

Hello Nicole,

Thanks for your post. We can all use some words of encouragement from time to time. 🙂

Is this a chat somewhere else?

DAILY CHATS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT LIFE

I want to start a virtual pen pals group and I'm looking for a forum to call home... ***]

[OldMarriedMan]

Hello Nicole, thanks for your advice. I had responded to @wilful via PM and had not heard back yet. I have some questions about the site. Like how did you get the tag line "Esteemed Social Butterfly"? I like it. 

Warm regards,

Milt

[OldMarriedMan]

Hello Nicole,

Thanks for your post. We can all use some words of encouragement from time to time. 🙂

Is this a chat somewhere else?

DAILY CHATS AND DISCUSSIONS ABOUT LIFE

I want to start a virtual pen pals group and I'm looking for a forum to call home...

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Hi @OldMarriedMan , if you look underneath your USERNAME for this site you will see YOUR TITLE of Regular Contributor. New People are Newbie. As you guys POST on this site, these titles will keep CHANGING. Personally, I could NOT careless but I guess it ENCOURAGES folks to post = promotions I guess.  🙄

Nicole  👵

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[*** MILT @OldMarriedMan wrote:

Hello Nicole, thanks for your advice. I had responded to @wilful via PM and had not heard back yet. I have some questions about the site. Like how did you get the tag line "Esteemed Social Butterfly"? I like it. 

Warm regards,

Milt ***]

[SummerIsTooHOT]

@VenaE974710  , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** VENA @VenaE974710 wrote:

I lost my wonderful husband last October. We were only married 6 years! We knew each for 15 years, but being married really made a difference in the way in how we cared for each other. We were long distance the first two years so really we just had 4 years together. Add a brain tumor diagnosis and we just had 2 "normal " years together.

It  is hard living alone; mostly not being able to share daily life with him anymore. We made our dreams come true and then whammo, they came  tumbling down. It breaks my heart to have lost him and for him to deteriorate over the 18 months.:{  ***]

[mc6844]

Vena, I'm sorry for your loss of your husband. They say your loved ones are with you always. There's a topic on the forum about signs from your loved ones. There's so much we don't know about life beyond. But it's not your time to go there yet. Or else you'd be there. Look for signs of familiarity and hope. While staying grounded in daily activities. The people on this forum are lovely and kind. They will help you through their own experiences. Take care!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣 1 Step At A Time!!!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

@tttttt , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** @tttttt wrote:

Good evening 

My husband Ron passed away 9/13/2023 and I need to get into a group that will help me through this. Or I may have a nervous break down. ***]