🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

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[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @Winter2024 ,

I played tennis this morning and went to water aerobics. Other than going out for a medical appointment, I am done with outdoor activities for today.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  Marcy, YOU are my hero.  I got out of bed this morning.  😂

[Winter2024]

1 comment [Sunday 7/7/24 6:36am ET]

How are YOU?  🤔

It is 70 degrees here in Cave Spring, Virginia.

I hope everyone got some rest last night. I did and GRATEFUL. Now to hope I do again tonight to deal with my 8am 2nd Medicare Primary doctor's appointment TOMORROW. It has been about 5 months of worry when my toes and toe nails got dark. Of course, Medicare will not cover an in between visit, so had to wait it out. Lol, looked it up online and says could be diabetes or circulation issues. Yikes!!!  😱😱😱

TRYING to not worry about my laid off only child, a daughter, in Florida. She is determined to not leave it again after her one relocation to Virginia and hated it. I totally luv the mountains and 4 seasons. Just hate my environment and working on some options while feeling guilty about not wanting to move back to Florida. As I age, it makes sense to be closer to her. Lol, between the shark bites, heat, alligators, hurricanes, crime - it is not the Florida I left in 2015 to follow my daughter to Virginia. Back then insurance and rent was decent. Now, about 3 times what I pay in Virginia.  😭😭😭

Lol, dealing with Mr. No Name has been an interesting experience. Talk about Cat Moods!!!  🤔🤔🤔  But I am learning to set boundaries with him as I do have to get things done, cannot sit around waiting on him hand and foot. My little darling ate and left this morning as usual at 6am. I made him wait until my 6am alarm went off to turn off my porch light. Usually I am up way before that and yes, he is asleep on my porch after a night of g.d knows what. They say they stalk their prey at night.  😱😱😱  Anyway, I guess I was back on his S.it List for making him wait and he came in fussing as I took my time getting his food ready.  🙄🙄🙄  I guess he may show up for lunch or dinner. One never knows. My boy!!!

Everyone FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[DianeB887812]

I took a nap yesterday. Honestly I think I just passed out. I was able to catch a few mor zzzz’s last night. So I’m up for the day now and not so exhausted. 
I am having flashbacks to those last days in the hospital and then hospice. With my first husband those flashbacks lasted for years. Oh well. I did my best for him. Rehashing every little thing is not going to change the outcome. 
Today I need to review a few financial things so I can call and talk to two folks tomorrow. I really do not want to talk to them but I have to. STRESS.

I’ll go to the store for some fresh fruit when I need a break. Peaches are in season!

SummerisTooHOT, I grew up in Virginia. Loved the forests and the hills. Did a lot of hiking. My brother is still there. I may plan a visit sometime soon. But not in the cold months. I hate the cold. 

Those toes don’t sound good. Please, no matter what the Doc says it is, take care of your feet and follow the Dr instructions.  

Life gets real hard when you can’t stand or walk. 

[Winter2024]

(1 comment)  Cadee @Cadee2719 , he would rather chill UNDER my CAR than use his bed??? I do NOW keep his water INSIDE as it is HOT as h.ll here in Cave Spring, Virginia during day. HONORED he does come inside for that!!!  Other than that, his happy a.s is asleep UNDER my car ALL DAY. I guess he likes the HEAT.  😱😱😱

He is INDEED a rebel/lol  🤣😂

So this NEW cat mom is giving his bed away.

TONIGHT is my walk to the back of my apartment complex to dump my trash and get mail the post office EMAIL says is suppose to be in there. And yes, the ANNOYING Silverscript Aetna Part D. Already called and ASKED "nicely" to stop all MARKETING mail = I am NOT changing my plan.  😤😤😤

LAST week he ESCORTED me = my bodyguard. Hmmm, wonder IF he will TONIGHT.  🤔🤔🤔

My boy  🤗🐱🤗🐈🤗

[Cadee2719]

  HAPPINESS IS BEING OWNED BY A CAT    😍

[Cadee2719]

  I think it is a "draw".  He is compromising and so are you.  😁   I would keep the bed.  Fall/Winter is not all that far off and he will certainly need a warm place to sleep.  He is walking up those steps like he "owns" the place.  🤣     You know Nicole I made the decision to move to Idaho because it was the smartest solution for me.  I told my son he did not have to move with me and that he could relocate to the place of his choice or stay where he was.    It seems like your daughter likes her independence and will make choices that will work for her.   What I have learned is that my son wants to have a conversation, but does not want my input or opinion.  That has been a relief for me.  He talks....I listen.....and we both go away happy.  We as mothers will ALWAYS be concerned about our children, but as they become adults, we need to trust their opinions and decisions and focus on ourselves, our happiness, our well being.   Isn't that a new concept for us?  ❤️

[Winter2024]

[3 comments] How are YOU?  🤔

70 degrees here in Cave Spring, Virginia. Storms Monday thru Thursday.  😭😭😭  I always welcome rain here as it decreases the bush fires but folks at the bottom of my hill flood easily. Back-to- back storms do not help.

Fed Mr. No Name and glad he didnot hang around as usual as this OLD lady has climbed back in bed.  🙄🙄🙄

Me and him were up and down last night. It is like he KNOWS when I am awake. Anyway, his last unofficial visit was 4am ET this morning. Then his usual one at 6am. 6am is his time to fill up and MAY be gone until tonight. Usually he hangs around for about 1/2 hour.

Marcy @MarcyW882921 hope your chorus event went well and your travel on I-95 was spectacular as you expected with the fireworks.

Allen @Therapist4u , hope you will stop by to say hello.

Cadee @Cadee2719 luv your little "bestie" and know his parents APPRECIATE you in his life. SO HAPPY for you!!!

Jonibee @jonibee you remain in my thoughts for your medical appointments.

Diane @DianeB887812 I look forward to hearing about your day today.

MC @mc6844 , lol - I see you have been busy today = gave me all those kudos. Thanks!!!

Everyone FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[DianeB887812]

I’ve been up since 4AM. Sleep schedule is going to take some work. I did get 7 hrs because I fell asleep at 9 pm. I have been working on the Apt. getting things arranged the way I want them. Getting rid of stuff I do not need. LOTS of medical stuff. Finished emptying extra freezer on the patio. Will call the junk removal guys this week. 
Good news… more room for flowering plants. I live in Florida. So a patio full of orchids is my goal. 

I also keep my eyes on any weather events like hurricanes or tropical systems. I’ve been watching the storm headed for TX. Looks like my old stomping grounds are in for a little weather. 

And I need to go through some financial stuff this next week. Most of it is a no brainer. But I’m not looking forward to hour on the phone. 

Took my walk this morning as well. That always helps clear my head a bit. 

So my day is starting out productive. If I keep busy I don’t get too down in the dumps. 

I hope everyone else is doing well. 

[MarcyW882921]

Welcome Diane @DianeB887812 . I too live in FL and have been on this site for over a year. As mentioned by someone else, the support of people here has really helped me through a difficult time and I really liked being able to write something at any hour of the day or night.

I also found that getting one foot out the door in the morning was beneficial for my mental health. It seems you are finding the same thing with your morning walk.

You are recognizing things that need to be done and you are chipping away at them. As you complete them, consider recognizing yourself for the strong person you are and what you have accomplished!

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

 Welcome to this site.  I joined this site over a year and a half ago.  The friends on this site helped me through the darkest time in my life.  They suggested books to read, AARP sessions to attend and offered their constant love and support.  Only with their help did I make it.  I, too would get up each day around 3:30 a.m., the time my husband died.  I, too isolated myself from the world and attempted to process all of the loss I had gone through.  The friends on this site drew me out of my shell, were there for me every day and gradually brought me back to the living.  I will forever be thankful.  Each day you will get stronger (I promise).  As Nicole says "Take One Step At a Time".  Don't apologize for mourning the loss of your loved one.  Do it at YOUR pace.  After being married for so many years I had to discover who "I" was and wanted to be.  It was necessary for me to sell my home and move which I did.  Now I am in a place where I have never been happier or more content. It is time to focus on Diane and her happiness.  I wish you much love and happiness on your journey.  ❤️  The kind and loving people on this site will walk with you on this journey.  

[Winter2024]

(1 comment) TEAM, please stop by to welcome OUR Diane @DianeB887812 . She is a Newbie and posted for the 1st time here in the AARP Grief & Loss Forum TODAY 07-05-2024 04:41 PM ET.

I am copying you guys on this to hopefully have an AARP email delivered to you ALL.

@Cadee2719 @jonibee @Therapist4u @MarcyW882921 @mc6844 

[DianeB887812]

I tend to isolate. So I am trying to not do that.

While I was caring for my husband, I had two neighbors go above and beyond to help me.
I can not say enough kind things about them... So I cooked some lasagna and shared it with them.

I also take a daily 30 min walk in the morning when everyone is walking their dogs. I have seen many of these dogs and their owners on these daily walks and I am allowed to stop and pet the dogs and have small talk with the owners. It helps to not feel alone.

I used to have two chihuahuas but they got old and sick at the same time my husband was starting to fail. So first I lost my dogs, then my husband.

Maybe once I have recovered somewhat I'll think about getting another small dog... but I need some time to recover from all of this first.

[Winter2024]

[1 comment] The storm arrived TODAY as forecasted and yours truly [me] used an umbrella to put his food in with his bed to AVOID me having a FLOOD inside my Studio Apt. A bed in a huge plastic container he has yet to use. I figured MAYBE the food would do the trick. Oh NO!!! Once storms had passed, I went OUTSIDE to see if his Megamansion [plastic container] survived. Up pops my boy from somewhere TRYING to get in my door BEFORE I closed it.  🙄🙄🙄  Nope, OLD lady [me] was quick./lol  🤣😂  THEN STARTED THE BATTLE OF WILLS!!! Still has NOT eaten and food will stay with his bed until he does. Hmmm, I am taking BETS on whether cat or human will win...  🤔  He is FULL tonight as Ms. Geraldine's car was here earlier and her son was grilling. Lol, he will be SURPRISED tomorrow MORNING when he is sitting outside my door and I DO NOT OPEN IT. That's my boy  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

 And the battle between Mr. No Name and Nicole begins!  😁  Who will win?  My money is on Nicole, no maybe Mr. No Name.  They are both strong minded and determined.  This will be fun to see who wins; the woman that loves the cat or the cat that loves the woman.  

[Winter2024]

[1 comment] Jonibee @jonibee , do you know when your surgery will be?

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** JONIBEE wrote: Well the C-Scan results are in Venous Reflux in both legs ..when valves stop working properly and  allows blood to flow backwards(reflux) and pools in the lower part of legs..solution to have radio frequency energy or heat to close the diseased veins and open up  or redirects blood to healthy veins.., minimally  invasive..improvement in about 2 days up to two weeks for normal restoration and normal activity use..Each leg is separated by about a month for this type of OP surgery..The other option is wearing compression stockings every day..I choose the OP surgery...Hopefully it will all go smoothly..***]

---

[jonibee]

I am awaiting insurance clearance and a call to schedule the surgery...

[Winter2024]

[1 comment] How are YOU today?  🤔

Lol, you saw my complaining earlier!!!  😂🤣

I am trying to WAIT it out to see WHERE my daughter ends up once she finds another job somewhere in Florida. Melbourne where she is was RELYING heavily on Harris L3 for work. With their surprise/same day MASS LAYOFFS on 4/11/24, it is going to [has affected] Brevard County BIG TIME. Empty houses as folks "walk away" to find Engineering Jobs elsewhere. Wish she would "walk back" to VIRGINIA so I can STAY!!!  🙄🙄🙄

Cadee @Cadee2719 , are there any HOSPITALS near you?  🤔

Carilion Hospital here has a PROGRAM that fills the GAP while folks WAIT to see their MEDICARE Medical Team for the 1st time. I was SO GRATEFUL for them September 2023 when I turned 65 and had to WAIT until this January 2024 to see my NEW Medical Team as my old ones DO NOT accept MEDICARE.

Maybe there are similar programs in YOUR AREA???

Jonibee @jonibee you and Allen @Therapist4u stay in MY thoughts.

MC @mc6844  🤗🤗🤗

Bionic Marcy @MarcyW882921  🤗🤗🤗

Everyone FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  I get my tele-health call on 7/11.  If he is unable to extend the medication, I will research other options.  It should not be this difficult to continue care.  St. Luke's Hospital is near and I will ask them for guidance.  The doctors I am transferring to are all at St. Lukes.

[Winter2024]

[2 comments] Hi There Cadee @Cadee2719 , they are doing what they do in retaliation to me asking them NICELY (when they MOVED in LAST year April) to have the CARLOAD of kids they had up there to NOT jump off their furniture ALL WEEKEND. I am in a Studio Apt (one room) UNDER their townhouse. Lol, they have a backyard where the kids can go and be kids. That weekend they CUSSED me out and told office I was HARASSING them.  🤔🤔🤔

I have NOT spoken to them since then.  🙄🙄🙄

I had SO MUCH fun when they "flooded" me out the SAME month they moved in by using a WASHER they knew needed to be replaced.

I had to call Emergency Maintenance as I watched WATER pouring from my ceiling.

It has been a year and 3 months of H.LL with them and still NO apology to damage to my ceiling which still has NOT been repaired.

The NEW Property Manager is TRYING, but has his hands full of emergency water leaks from YEARS of property NOT being repaired.

Thanks dear friend for CARING,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Awww....sorry you're going through this Nicole. You deserve a nice quiet place to live and rest. 🙏 

[jonibee]

Well the C-Scan results are in Venous Reflux in both legs ..when valves stop working properly and  allows blood to flow backwards(reflux) and pools in the lower part of legs..solution to have radio frequency energy or heat to close the diseased veins and open up  or redirects blood to healthy veins.., minimally  invasive..improvement in about 2 days up to two weeks for normal restoration and normal activity use..Each leg is separated by about a month for this type of OP surgery..The other option is wearing compression stockings every day..I choose the OP surgery...Hopefully it will all go smoothly..

[Winter2024]

[1 comment] Don't forget, an Event TODAY!!!  💃💃💃

As soon as my boy heads out my door, I am going to TRY to get some sleep.

Been up all night  🙄🙄🙄  and Indian's car is still here = means NO WORK today  😭😭😭.

Hopefully they go somewhere while I catch a nap. Exhausted.

See you later.  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  Nicole have you knocked on their door and explained to them the fact that you an HEAR them when they are on the phone and that it is disturbing your sleep?  Do other neighbors complain about them.  If you have a tape recorder, record them and take it to them to let them hear how loud and disruptive they are.  Perhaps check with your local authorities to see what they suggest that you can do to resolve this.  YOU have equal rights as a tenant to be able to sleep at night in the apartment that you rent.  Ask your landlord what he can do to help resolve this.  I hope that you can peacefully resolve this issue.  ❤️

[Winter2024]

[1 comment] Cadee @Cadee2719 , you doing anything with your neighborhood for July 4th?

I seem to remember you posted that they had invited you to join in.

Lol, now with my Senior Moments I could have imagined this.

Not sure IF my daughter will do her SOCIAL STUFF this time with being laid off. She is like Marcy @MarcyW882921 , very social.

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[Cadee2719]

  I was invited to a Block Party.  Got my blood test back and it shows high levels of inflammation in my body.  I guess that is why I have been unable to walk lately and in a lot of pain.  I am not sure about going to the block party unless maybe I just put a chair out to sit in.  I have games for the kids to play and I do plan on baking and cooking for the party.  Now I wonder what my doctor in California will do about extending the medication for me.  My son has been very busy with his new job so I have not seen him lately.  I understand, working for the Air Force is a different process and quite intensive.  I got a new flag to hang outside my home to join in with all the others on the street.  I am wishing all of my friends on this site a HAPPY 4th of July🎆🇺🇲🎇  Be safe.  ❤️

[Winter2024]

[2 comments]  I guess he is spending the day with me TODAY.  🤔  Followed me INSIDE when I returned from Kroger. Now keep in mind, I have to keep my door OPEN or he is rushing out the door as I head to CLOSE IT.  🙄🙄🙄

[MarcyW882921]

I hope no critters come in!

Marcy

[Winter2024]

(4 comments)  👥  OUR Grief & Loss Team!!!

[1]MC @mc6844 

[2]Allen @Therapist4u 

[3]Jonibee @jonibee 

[4]Marcy @MarcyW882921

[5]Cadee @Cadee2719 

[6]Nicole - me.

[Therapist4u]

Hi Nicole @Winter2024

You rang??????????????

You rang?????????????? LOL!!

 LOL!!

Take care!

☮️  🌩🌦~Allen 🌈  ⛵  🌞