🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸clipart attached📸

[MarcyW882921]

Yes Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy, I did this in the last couple of weeks. Fortunately it was with a pair of jeans and I had a long shirt so I don't think anyone noticed but me!  LOL

Marcy

[mc6844]

Lol Yes with cardigans many times. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Tuesday 10/24/23)

▶️*** Dear Erica @EricaS968839 , I just ADDED the LINK to the CAREGIVERS FORUM below if you want to stop by. Sorry, forgot to ADD yesterday ***◀️

(Monday 10/23/23)

Dear Erica, I AM SO SORRY for your loss!!! 😭

I luv your idea of doing Halloween since your Mom enjoyed it. 👍

Gosh, dealing with your Dad's Dementia - you may find some support in the AARP Caregiver's Forum.  The LINK to that FORUM is below!

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Caregiving/bd-p/bf41

*** Sandy @sandy  , Jane @JaneCares   , Amy @agoyer   - any suggestions?  🤔 ***

Sandy is an AARP Employee.

Jane and Amy are BOTH AARP Experts.

I am SO GLAD you stopped by my friend.

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

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✏@EricaS968839 wrote:

Thank you. My mom passed away almost a year ago. 10/31/22 was when she passed, unexpectedly. It's been a very tough year. My dad is in the final stages of Dementia. He is in assisted living, amd has 24/7 hospice care. I have alot of support, but as the anniversary of my mom's passing approaches, my grief is getting worse. I'm trying to plan ahead for the day, which, is also Halloween. My mom loved Halloween, so, my thought was to try to put together candy for the kiddos. She also loved children. Any ideas for getting through that day would be greatly appreciated. ✏ 

[agoyer]

@SpringIsHereSoHappy  @EricaS968839  Your situation sounds so familiar to me! My Mom died suddenly on Oct.11 in 2014. Dad had Alzheimer's, although he was not in late stages he was more in mid stage. It was so hard to head into the holidays that year. My parents also loved Halloween - they used to dress up to meet the trick-or-treaters. When I was caregiving for them I would dress up too and we would sit outside and greet all the kiddos. So fun! I was heartsick that first Halloween. I did what you are doing - honored Mom by dressing up, sitting outside with Daddy and greeting the trick or treaters. Doing it in honor of her really made it easier for me, even though of course I had moments of great sadness. Every year I do that now. Next was Thanksgiving, then Christmas - it was a hard year and the following year too. Another thing I've found on these hard Anniversaries of Loss is that making a new memory on that day is helpful to me. On the one year anniversary after Mom died, my boyfriend and I took a little trip to see Fall leaves. A distraction and a new memory. 

Anything you can do to honor your mother's memory is helpful! Cook her favorite food, watch her favorite movie (and maybe she is watching along with you in spirit). Physical activity can be helpful too. And it's ok to cry and be quiet that day too. 

You've gotten through the "year of firsts" so that's something to feel good about - you did it. So so so hard. ❤️ Take good care of yourself. 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving

[EricaS968839]

Thank-you Nicole!! Your response and support is so kind. Luv to you as well!! 🙂

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Monday 10/23/23)

Thanks for asking MC @mc6844 💙💙💙

Small Cataracts in BOTH eyes.

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

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✏@mc6844 wrote:

Hope it was good Nicole. I know its not easy getting to these appointments.✏

[mc6844]

It's good they're small at least

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(2 comments) Monday 10/23/23

👓👀  See you later! Got a 8:30am EST Yearly Eye Exam TODAY.

Hate them, but know I NEED them! 👍

Luv,

Nicole 🤗

[Cadee2719]

Just returned from my eye exam.  (I think I am going to rent a room in the medical building with all the appointments I have had this month!!!).  Have to have surgery on my other eye for cataract/glaucoma surgery.  They will have to put stents in this eye as they did in my other eye.  I told them I will have to wait until 2024 as I am in the process of seeing the Rheumotologist soon and have to resolve that issue.  Nicole I AM FALLING APART.  😫   I am greatful that I have taken the time to finally go to the doctors and am working on taking care of my health.  This is a new concept for a caregiver, but one that is necessary.

[mc6844]

Hope it was good Nicole. I know its not easy getting to these appointments.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Monday 10/23/23)

You are welcome dear Erica and thank you!!! 💙💙💙

Nicole 🤗

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✏ Erica wrote:

Thank-you Nicole!! Your response and support is so kind. Luv to you as well!! 🙂 ✏

[EricaS968839]

Thank you. My mom passed away almost a year ago. 10/31/22 was when she passed, unexpectedly. It's been a very tough year. My dad is in the final stages of Dementia. He is in assisted living, amd has 24/7 hospice care. I have alot of support, but as the anniversary of my mom's passing approaches, my grief is getting worse. I'm trying to plan ahead for the day, which, is also Halloween. My mom loved Halloween, so, my thought was to try to put together candy for the kiddos. She also loved children. Any ideas for getting through that day would be greatly appreciated. 

[mc6844]

Erica, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom. And it's so nice you are there for your Dad. I know these times are very painful. There are good people on this site who can help you get through this. 

Halloween can be a way to detach and help your Mom celebrate her favorite time in spirit. I know someone who has an angel 😇 ghost floating in front of his house!  

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (SUNDAY - October 22, 2023)

TODAY IS OUR DEAR MARCY'S ANNIVERSARY DAY! 😥

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , you are in my thoughts and prayers ALL THE TIME but especially TODAY dear friend. 💙🙏

I know you have things planned including dinner with a friend.

Hats off to you girl - you inspire me to do the same INSTEAD of my USUAL stay in my bed and CRY. 👍

*** The luv of your life (hubbie) is seeing all this and has a SMILE on his face as he sees YOUR efforts. As usual, HE will be WITH you today/tonight ***

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you so much Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy. I have had memories of this horrible day a year ago off and on during the day. On the other hand, I feel fulfilled that I was able to make a difference in some people's lives today. I spoke to strangers, let people go in front of me, served food to people who are less fortunate, and participated in a walk against hate. In addition, I have been blessed with friends who treated me to dinner, sent gifts, and sent text messages. I have many things to be grateful for and I feel that my husband's legacy lives on through all of our acts of kindness.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Thank You Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy and you are too my friend! 🤗

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Dear Marcy, I am thinking and praying for you today.  I am reading DIFFERENT AFTER YOU, written by Michele Neff Hernandez and came across this quote:  "Tragic events cause the death of one version of ourselves, and from the ashes of our previous life, a new life is born, one rich with possibility."  You, dear Marcy, are rising from the ashes of one life and opening your heart to another.  You have shared such good advice with me and many others on this site and we love you for it.  Be kind to yourself today.  ❤️

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[Cadee2719]

Thank You Nicole.  You work SO HARD for this site and for all of us here.  You should get paid for all the good that you accomplish.  You make us laugh, smile, cry and think AND you never forget us.  Being on this site and knowing that I am not alone suffering through my loss has helped me more than you could ever know.  We all are so lucky to have you in our life.  ❤️

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Tuesday 10/24/23)

Dear tttttt, I am SO SORRY about your loss! 😭

Are you interested in an online or in person Support Group?

Luv You,

Nicole 🤗

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✏ tttttt wrote:

Good evening 

My husband Ron passed away 9/13/2023 and I need to get into a group that will help me through this. Or I may have a nervous break down.✏

[KimberlyM389662]

Good morning Nicole. Been a little busy this week and haven't gotten around to posting. I am heading down OC Maryland today for Sunset. Just me, my son and my mom. Only a one day trip but, it will be nice to get out of the house and see some different sites. Our boy is growing like a weed. We are still working on the potty training but he is starting to get better at it. I thought I would share with you all the latest. Here he is sharing a snooze with his brother. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Wednesday 10/18/23)

Dear Cadee @Cadee2719 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 , do you guys have any PLANS for your anniversaries on the 22nd and 30th?

Or playing it by ear = see how you feel that day.

Luv you BOTH,

Nicole 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy, My husband was a people person and when he was healthy he would do anything he could to help others. To honor his memory on the 22nd, I am participating in a Walk Against Hate in the morning and serving meals to people who are homeless and/or food insecure in the afternoon. In the evening, I am meeting a friend for dinner.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Tuesday 10/17/23)

💊  I will be back after my 8:15am EST Doctor's Appointment TODAY!

It is about 6:30am for me and didnot want to get up when my 6am ALARM went off. 😭

Lol, got up IMMEDIATELY to avoid falling back to sleep.... 😂🤣

Rough night of sporadic sleep - praying I stay ALERT while driving. 🙏

See you later,

[MarcyW882921]

Wow Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy that is an early doctor's appointment. I hope all went well.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Monday 10/16/23)

Thank you SO MUCH Amy @agoyer !!! 💃💃💃

It was SO GOOD hearing from you,

Luv you Nicole 🤗

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✏@agoyer wrote:

@SpringIsHereSoHappy Hello! Jane shared a link to one of my columns about grief and loss over the holidays, and a state-based webinar coming up. I will also be doing a webinar about caregiving during the holidays on Nov. 16th - stay tuned for information about that! 

My column on life after caregiving and dealing with grief might be helpful too: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/info-2020/finding-purpose-after-caregiving-ends.html 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving

✏

---

[agoyer]

@SpringIsHereSoHappy Good to hear from you too!!!! ❤️

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

(1 comment/10-16-23)

⚠️QUESTION OF THE DAY/NIGHT!

Did you do something (or plan to) that brought you peace TODAY/TONIGHT? 🤔

Me: Not yet, BUT getting a Good Morning from Kimberly @KimberlyM389662 , Beasley 🐕, Munchkin 🐈 and Blu 🐈 made me SMILE! 💃💃💃

*** (1) I need to go READ the material OUR dear Jane @JaneCares (2) and OUR dear Amy  @agoyer for us. ***

Their information will HELP to get me "mentally and emotionally" READY for NEXT month - Thanksgiving.👍 ***

Nicole 🤗

[KimberlyM389662]

I know what you mean Nicole. I don't celebrate Valentine's Day because that was my Dad's birthday but, St. Patrick's Day was our 32nd anniversary of meeting and then Mother's and Father's Day, what would have been our 31st wedding anniversary. We also had birthdays in September. Now we are approaching Thanksgiving, my daughter's birthday Christmas and New years alone. And then most of all, our daughter's wedding next year. I feel so alone and angry because he left me to do all this on my own.