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Ladies 70 and older - share your tips for dating sites

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Ladies 70 and older - share your tips for dating sites

So many women and so few men - how to attract and find a guy I'd be interested in?  New to dating sites and wondering best way to navigate them.  Snowflake

 

 

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Regular Contributor

I'm 66, and have the same problem. I live in a rural community in southern Illinois, and there isn't a lot of single older folks here. I tried an online dating site, but most men are an hour or more away. The few that are close to me are either looking for "Barbie" or they are on assistance and can't afford to care for themselves, let alone offer 50-50 in a relationship.

 

You might try a church older Single's Group if there is any in your area. Now there's a group under served! They have widowed singles, young singles, but seldom older singles. Just be cautious and safe!

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Bronze Conversationalist

You might try a church older Single's Group if there is any in your area. Now there's a group under served! They have widowed singles, young singles, but seldom older singles. Just be cautious and safe!

 

Under served correct.  Years ago I looked into this avenue, my church offered "Divorced" & "Gay" singles groups. (which the church narrative was against divorced & gay.) along with young adults <25.. I was in my early 30's at the time.  

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Conversationalist

 I would be leery about the people on dating sites. There are a lot of fake profiles and scammers. I see this all the time in the senior groups on Facebook. It's better meeting face to face. I do wish there was a chat group on AARP site.

Rebecca
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Regular Contributor

I agree with you about meeting in-person. 

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Conversationalist

 Thank you. I've watched shows about meeting people online and some of the things that happened when they met would freak you out.

Rebecca
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Would think most you ladies are so over dating by your 50's.   You don't need a man in your life to rationalize your existence.  It's time to focus on your, kids, grandkids & your legacy!

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Conversationalist

 I completely agree. I am a loner and introvert so I am happily content and at peace alone. I feel for those that think they need someone to complete them.

Rebecca
Regular Contributor

I guess we know different type of people. What I find, is no matter what your age, women whether 16 or 60, we both want the same thing. We want a tender relationship; someone to hold our hand, smile with us, laugh with us, to have a pal to hang around, with a possible future. It sounds like to me, you weren't the one for her. Because if you were, you could stop her world from revolving! Kids, grand-kids, and legacy are all excuses for you weren't enough for her to turn around and say "I have a new path, and I'm doing this for me!"

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Bronze Conversationalist

I fnd this quite often, their kids do have a great influence over them.  It's nice to have someone looking out for one. but a bribe from the children?

 

I guess I could never stop ones world from revolving... nice way to put it Sharon.  Years ago I may had been a great catch, but others worlds were revolving at the time. I'm finding I'm a part of nothing, have apparently little in common, & little to share. 

Periodic Contributor

    BRAVO!

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This is 2023! Most kids don't take the time to visit their parent's as they age too buzy witth their career and hitting the dating scene themselves, grandkids are too buzy on their cell phones and those video games that take them away from reality and human bonding and legacy . . . all they are interested in is their inheritence. How much will you leave them, money wise. This is a very sad time we are living in. So with that being said, if one wants to find a companion to just have someone to do things with and have conversation, then by all means do that. It's NOT about needing a man / woman to rationallize ones existance, it's about feeling needed.There's much joy in having someone to share stories with and greater joy in creating new memories with new friends.

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Regular Contributor

YES! I agree!

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I hear you about the phone thing, 9 out of 10 people I see are looking at a phone at any given instance. 

 

My parents were my best friends.  My (estranged) brother is married to a much younger woman who is "all about the inheritance".   The few women I had associated with beg to differ, it is all about the kids & grandkids, I have been told by them "they don't need a man to rationalize their existence"  I'm just spreading their good word!   Even in their old age they still play games like they were still in High School.  If you want to feel needed, get a pet. 

 

At this point in our lives we are pretty much set in our ways.  It would be difficult to change, make new friends & associates.  I find I have less & less in common with my so called peers.   Best DO hold on to you old memories, hope they are good as that is all you may have to fall back on. 

 

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Agree to disagree. God put something in us to want to be unified with others. Whether it's the church, immediate family, or a potential suitor. It's a rare person that has the gift to be single. For you, I would suggest next time a lady says anything odd like, "I chose my kids", ask another lady what she was actually telling you. And you know, I agree with you. Dating at this age is like dating in High School. If one doesn't get their desired results they call each other "players", and accuse them of only wanting one thing. Mostly, because it's the truth. I read once that people's brains age up to age 33, but are bodies continue to age. Not saying I believe that, but says it makes sense with our choices and results. And I also agree with you, to get a pet to love. I own 2 dogs. Animals are very therapeutic! I also agree with you, we are set in our ways. But, the women I know would welcome the chance for a new adventure with new surroundings and to develop new traditions and welcome new people into their lives! The real dilemma is, are you pushing or pulling, are you closed or open?

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Bronze Conversationalist

Closed or open?  I'm at work 10+ hours a day, & barely would have the time & energy for relationships/friendships, that's been an issue in the past, this should be understood, as it goes both ways.  My inner debate on retiring would be my job actually provides my only social interaction with others.

Social Butterfly

I try to stop by once a month, been busy. Hope you're doing well and in good spirits 🙂

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Social Butterfly

Hello NicoleW 👋

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Super Contributor

Amen!

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Periodic Contributor

I love that
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I am seeking a woman with good heart . No drama , i am 61 , 55 above is welcome . We can talk about many things ,be friends for as long as things get to work better , no need to rush . Respect each others opinion . Please write me , i will be glad to talk to you soon .

 

 

Raymond 

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Raymond

I am a real man interested in women 

 

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That is a wrong way to go lol . I am only interested in a woman .

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I am 73 and have been single and dating for more than 15 years.  I have had several longish-term relationships, 2+ years, and made a number of friends.  My best advice to women, people, our age is is the same advice I give to younger folk who ask.  Look for someone who likes about you the things you like about yourself.  If you're smart and funny and proud of those things, don't waste time on someone who wants a non-challenging companion who laughs at his jokes, but doesn't make them herself.  If you're athletic and love being that way, avoid couch potatoes.  And if your political and/or religious leanings are meaningful to you, make that abundantly clear.  Many men either don't read your profile statement or, apparently, think they can change your mind.  At this point in my life, I know what I believe and what is important.  If they don't respect your positions, just hit 'delete' and move on.You get the picture.  It can be a great adventure.  Good Luck.  Nona

Nona Martin Stuck
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Periodic Contributor

I truly welcome these conversations.. Dating, I have found, has become more difficult.. I've always been considered 10 years younger than my age.. so fortunately get attention from men, I prefer older adults who are enjoying the Journey.. looking forward.. ready willing and able to make NEW memories!!..I'm in my 70s..and am realistic about the challenges we all face..reality of aging comes with a life well lived.. wisdom, boundaries..   I have met men that are in my age bracket.. I met them all at a local rec. center where we each work out.. (good sign).... Each one has recently lost their wives due to illness..each one is to be commended for providing such loving care..so I acknowledge that during our first few conversations.. (never wanting to disregard the care and love they each have for her).... My difficulty ,in trying to get to know them better.. is that they expect me to be just like her..even tho they are first attracted to a lively, attentive, attractive woman..who is well groomed, still working, loves to dance... they yet want to keep me mentally dependant on them as their wife was..they seem to think that we are so deperate that a flirt should be enough.to pull us into their "bubble" of comfort.   . if I could tell any of them: PLEASE practice some new thinking..find out what modern women find attractive.. dont expect us to be your wife..dont be so connected to "the old days"..that you still feel guilty for being with a new woman.. you cant have it both ways..stay in your familiar comfort zone..dont come out and only expect me to change and  dont seem to think you have to..  I'm still a believer..and plan to keep enjoying life with great expectation that I am worthy of a loving, sharing relationship with a handsome man who dresses well, smells terrific and is happy to meet and spend time with me!!  I'm a great catch!! 

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Regular Contributor

YES! You are worthy of all that and more! Love your aspect on life and dating! Thanks for sharing!

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Newbie

This is my first effort at this and I was interested in your comments and thought I'd dip my toe in an option to find an email friend. I understand fully your concerns, and that isn't me. I can't envision trying to recreate my wife since 1955, who I lost over 2 years ago.

 

I'm 86 years old former military and somewhat introverted. I am agnostic, do a bit of writing and I know I would enjoy conversation, but doing it by email is a question to be answered. Another question would be would you be interested in trying this out?

 

 

John

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Hi John,

Nice to have you aboard. I've been a member of AARP online for a number of years, but at times, I am not too active due to not much participation from others.

I would enjoy corresponding with you . I'm a single 82 yrs.old former school teacher,  who enjoys enjoy reading, writing, and making new friends.

 

 

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Trusted Contributor

I'd like to chat more. So hard to find a pen pal. Can message directly if you want to. 

Enjoy 

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Regular Contributor

Hi Anniej

It is nice to hear from you.

That is nice.i am actually between 63-65 years old did not reach 65 yet.

Thanks for your message. 

 

John

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