- AARP Online Community
- Games Talk
- Games Tips
- Leave a Game Tip
- Ask for a Game Tip
- AARP Rewards
- AARP Rewards Connect
- Earn Activities
- AARP Rewards Tips
- Ask for a Rewards Tip
- Leave a Rewards Tip
- Grief & Loss
- Share and Find Caregiving Tips - AARP Online Community
- Ask for a Caregiving Tip
- Leave a Caregiving Tip
- AARP Help
- Benefits & Discounts
- General Help
- Entertainment Forums
- Rock N' Roll
- Let's Play Bingo!
- Leisure & Lifestyle
- Entertainment Archive
- Health Forums
- Brain Health
- Conditions & Treatments
- Healthy Living
- Medicare & Insurance
- Health Tips
- Ask for a Health Tip
- Leave a Health Tip
- Home & Family Forums
- Friends & Family
- Introduce Yourself
- Late Life Divorce
- Our Front Porch
- Home & Family Archive
- Money Forums
- Budget & Savings
- Scams & Fraud
- Retirement Forum
- Social Security
- Retirement Archive
- Technology Forums
- Computer Questions & Tips
- About Our Community
- Travel Forums
- Work & Jobs
- Work & Jobs
I am seeking a woman with good heart . No drama , i am 61 , 55 above is welcome . We can talk about many things ,be friends for as long as things get to work better , no need to rush . Respect each others opinion . Please write me , i will be glad to talk to you soon .
I am 73 and have been single and dating for more than 15 years. I have had several longish-term relationships, 2+ years, and made a number of friends. My best advice to women, people, our age is is the same advice I give to younger folk who ask. Look for someone who likes about you the things you like about yourself. If you're smart and funny and proud of those things, don't waste time on someone who wants a non-challenging companion who laughs at his jokes, but doesn't make them herself. If you're athletic and love being that way, avoid couch potatoes. And if your political and/or religious leanings are meaningful to you, make that abundantly clear. Many men either don't read your profile statement or, apparently, think they can change your mind. At this point in my life, I know what I believe and what is important. If they don't respect your positions, just hit 'delete' and move on.You get the picture. It can be a great adventure. Good Luck. Nona
I truly welcome these conversations.. Dating, I have found, has become more difficult.. I've always been considered 10 years younger than my age.. so fortunately get attention from men, I prefer older adults who are enjoying the Journey.. looking forward.. ready willing and able to make NEW memories!!..I'm in my 70s..and am realistic about the challenges we all face..reality of aging comes with a life well lived.. wisdom, boundaries.. I have met men that are in my age bracket.. I met them all at a local rec. center where we each work out.. (good sign).... Each one has recently lost their wives due to illness..each one is to be commended for providing such loving care..so I acknowledge that during our first few conversations.. (never wanting to disregard the care and love they each have for her).... My difficulty ,in trying to get to know them better.. is that they expect me to be just like her..even tho they are first attracted to a lively, attentive, attractive woman..who is well groomed, still working, loves to dance... they yet want to keep me mentally dependant on them as their wife was..they seem to think that we are so deperate that a flirt should be enough.to pull us into their "bubble" of comfort. . if I could tell any of them: PLEASE practice some new thinking..find out what modern women find attractive.. dont expect us to be your wife..dont be so connected to "the old days"..that you still feel guilty for being with a new woman.. you cant have it both ways..stay in your familiar comfort zone..dont come out and only expect me to change and dont seem to think you have to.. I'm still a believer..and plan to keep enjoying life with great expectation that I am worthy of a loving, sharing relationship with a handsome man who dresses well, smells terrific and is happy to meet and spend time with me!! I'm a great catch!!
This is my first effort at this and I was interested in your comments and thought I'd dip my toe in an option to find an email friend. I understand fully your concerns, and that isn't me. I can't envision trying to recreate my wife since 1955, who I lost over 2 years ago.
I'm 86 years old former military and somewhat introverted. I am agnostic, do a bit of writing and I know I would enjoy conversation, but doing it by email is a question to be answered. Another question would be would you be interested in trying this out?
Nice to have you aboard. I've been a member of AARP online for a number of years, but at times, I am not too active due to not much participation from others.
I would enjoy corresponding with you . I'm a single 82 yrs.old former school teacher, who enjoys enjoy reading, writing, and making new friends.
02-29-2020 09:55 AM
where do you find men to date that are sincere and genuine?
Dear Info Seeker:
When I read your question one word stood out to me in the inquiry. "Find." The word infers that something is lost. In order to find something, someone, or certain attributes those things and that one would have to be lost.
The presumption in the word is that these men are lost. I do not believe that sincere and genuine men (and women) are lost and that they do not joyfully exist in the contemporary dating environment that we have today. I recommend "seek" them in the entire marketplace of life. In supermarkets, libraries, senior centers, your local church, at the theater, grandchildren's school events and through volunteerism. These are a few places where you may meet sincere and genuine people. I prefer the word, "Seek." Seeking is a word that carries the connotation that you are expecting to encounter that which you already believe to exist. No one sees inside any one's heart yet God and His Word, (yes, the Bible) "is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." - (Hebrews 4:12 KJV)
There are sincere, honest and authentically genuine people that still live here with us on planet earth. So sincerity and genuinity are those attributes that are revealed over time by the content of a person's goodly character and the expressions of their mouth. At 70 years of age, (or even coming close to age 70) one has heard a lot of people talk and observed a lot of people with or without good character. Like all things in life as we age we begin to become more discerning and capable of determining a silver nickel from a wooden one and a genuinely sincere person from a phony.
I reiterate your question, "where do you find men to date that are sincere and genuine?"
I say "seek" and ye shall "discover" them in the secret place that is in the intimacy of your own sincere and genuine heart and through wise counsel in conversations with God.
Exerpted from my post on 05-12-2017 05:01 AM: "And to all the wonderful ladies 70 and older all the best to you and may you influence and inspire women younger than yourselves to seek authentic, honest and sincere dating counterparts. I believe that your age carries the wisdom gained through your experiences. You carry with you secrets to living that the young only "think" they know. Continue to have zero tolerance for any relationship that does not honor and cherish the rich heritage you gained through time."
@noblefool Hi there, (I am 60+) I am sure Ladies 70 and older have a good sense of judgment. I often consider that time takes a person to another level of thinking, feeling and doing. There is just not too much that you have to put up with when you get to be a certain age. And you sure realize that it is not worth it and you just don't have to. When you honestly consider your life at this age you really don't want any "drama." The only kind of "stuff going on" that one may allow in her life once she has become seasoned by time is "joy" and "peace." Anything else is for the younger ones. They are still exploring. At 70+ you may still be learning but you are certainly beyond trying to figure out the things that the young ponder. You got it! You lived it! You know it! And although there is yet still much to grow, expand, refresh and renew and to know in your life, you approach it with wisdom that only comes with time spent living on this planet.
And to all the wonderful ladies 70 and older all the best to you and may you influence and inspire women younger than yourselves to seek authentic, honest and sincere dating counterparts. I believe that your age carries the wisdom gained through your experiences. You carry with you secrets to living that the young only "think" they know. Continue to have zero tolerance for any relationship that does not honor and cherish the rich heritage you gained through time. Some things only come with time. The young need to hear from you and learn so that they will escape some of the erroneous nonsense that is out there in mainstream dating "nowadays."
- thank you for your wisdom..everything you posted is true!! i will reread when I need a boost
- Thank You!!!
Hey there, I was just running by and saw you have some questions.
I am mid 50 something and I just want to share my opinion even if my thoughts may same silly.
I have a few "men" friends that are 70+ old and are single. They tell me they will stay single the rest of their days and each one has their reasons as to why. So there are still plenty of men out there in the world that are single and above 70 years old.
Just to give you an idea of what is going on out here in some cases..................the biggest concern most men that are older and wiser then I, tell me that it's just too late to start over and being alone is not so bad. Some of these men are widowed and choose to remain in Love with their wife even after their spouses passing, which I find admirable. Some men have been divorced and tried numerous relationships overtime and got tired of being disappointed in having continued failed relationships, regardless of the relationship failure root cause. So while there are some older men on dating sites, their are many men that will never be on them.
There are many avenues to finding that special someone for you. I guess it depends on what a person is looking for and what type of relationship they want or need. One can use dating sites, which do work for some people, and for some people it does not work out so good. I caution a person "on the fast track" quest for someone, and to always remember:
"You reap what you sow"
I know it can be lonely at times and we often sacrifice our inner desires to be with anybody to just not be alone. The real question is as to what a person wants or needs from another person.
I think the best thing for a person to do is to keep their eyes open without looking for something or someone specific. Keep your eyes open and attached to your heart and see if someone is willing to look back inside of you. Be honest and upfront concerning what you want, need, and what your expectations are in a relationship.
I think the key is to be honest upfront about yourself on dating sites to hopefully help attract a person that interests you and has the same wants and needs as you.
My very best to you and may you find what you are looking for.
The biggest barrier to dating past 70 is senseless banter about unfounded concerns. Instead stop wasting time and start engaging with someone who seems interesting. It can begin with a smile and doing something simple. The key is to do an activity together and than one more. Nothing happens without doing things together. All the talk about relationships and expectations are curses guaranteed to sink any ship.
I agree with you about doing activities together. Just noticed a retired meetup group that is going to watch people become us citizens here in portland downtown and that sounds interesting, how the new water treatment plant works, trying out the latest ice cream parlor or sub shop in town. Small adventures are underrated. Another post mentioned there lack of dance clubs in town what a shame. I am not a good dancer but love music and think that would be a fun way to connect with someone as clumsy as I am.
Hello Dr. Johnson......Have you found someone to go for a walk with, have dinner, share stories, have intellegent conversations, dream and travel together?
I'm a young 68, I go to the gym 5 days a week only to stay healthy. I am a widow and I am financially independent. My two sons are both established with no children. I am also in New Jersey and if you are free please reply.
Hello Susan. Im more than familiar with your situation. Im 60 and as sexually charged as i was 30 yrs ago.I am attracted to older woman who are healthy and energetic. Im constantly reading about so many woman 60 and 70 looking for friends with sex included. Which is fine for me. I too am in NJ ..the problem for me and maybe others is where woukd we go to find these sexually active woman to meet?
Dear Dr. Johnson:
Thank you for your reply. I can sense your lonliness but I must tell you that I was hoping to find someone closer to my age. You sound like a very nice person and I truly hope that you find someone in your quest to overcome your lonliness.
I am attaching below something I just read and hope you enjoy it.
Age is the elegy of elegies. It has greater impact than death in many ways. In death you are remembered. In age, you are far more likely to feel forgotten, sequestered even from the very act of living.
There is a loneliness that seeps in as we age. It is the loneliness that distances ourselves from where we’ve come from and to where we’re going. We begin to be less and less here and more and more…where? It is the preoccupation with the where-ness that begins to take over.
On the one hand, we’re lonely, even in a crowd; because there are so few, if any, we can talk to about this new moment in our lives. And on the other hand, it does not feel real, even to us. Age, we know, is nothing but a number. Except that is isn’t. Things begin to happen to us that make the number real. We begin to be aware that life is slipping between our fingers, like the oil of fine olives, smoothly and steadily, smoothly and regularly, smoothly but inevitably.
That’s when we get lonely, not because we are being isolated or ignored, but precisely because we are now in the fullness of life. Our own. We are not living the life of the masses anymore. And our life, we have come to understand, is very different from theirs.
We miss the sense of importance that comes with the bustle of middle age. At least we miss it until we become conscious of the new importance that comes with simply being who we are, rather than simply what we did. Until that time arrives, there is the feeling that we are all talking to one another under water: we do not know what they are talking about anymore. And that is very frightening. And the people around us, the people we’ve known for a long time, do not understand us either.
We miss the intellectual stimulation, sense of achievement, of being needed, that came with the daily problems. We miss having a place to fill.
Then we discover that if we’re lonely, it may be because we have not looked around to see who needs us. A person who is needed – really needed, is never lonely, never isolated, never without purpose in life. All we need to do is to go out and do something. The world is waiting for us with open arms.
A burden of these years is that we will hole up somewhere and mourn our age, our change in life, our losses.
A blessing of these years is that we will make ourselves available to the world that is waiting for us, even now, even here.
Good luck to you in your quest!
AARP Online Community
- AARP Rewards
- AARP Help
- Home & Family
- Work & Jobs
New Feature: Theater Mode supports a full-width gameplay experience on laptop and desktop. Try it out today on these AARP Rewards-badged favorites: Daily Crossword, Right Again! Trivia, and Let’s Crossword! Try it out today!
Sync your smartphone or favorite tracker with AARP Rewards to earn points for hitting steps, swimming and cycling milestones Sync now.
From soft jazz to hard rock - discover music's mental, social and physical benefits. Learn more.