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Social Butterfly

How Do You Help An Alcoholic Sibling?

Are there some healthy/helpful things I can do?  Say?  Accept? My brother lives out of state, alone, with chronic pain and medical conditions he refuses to address.   Has been abusing alcohol for decades. Heart-breaking that he refuses any help from family and friends.  Advice?

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Social Butterfly

Like @WebWiseWoman I do not stop drinking once I have started (at least not the way sensible people do) so I have elected not to start any more.  And agree with @GailL1 that Al-Anon can be a valuable resource for those who are adversely affected by substance abuse, but would caution against tunnel vision.  Make use of whatever support resources work for you without adopting anti-social attitudes toward the afflicted.  Ironically it was a suggestion from a third party that directed me to investigate Al-Anon and realize how detrimental my family was to my continued sobriety.  I guess, in summary, what I'm saying is there isn't a whole lot you can do for him, so you might as well take care of yourself.  The journey can be scary, but also full of joyful surprises.

Social Butterfly

@EricC227821 Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your experiences.  I am so sorry that your family has not been a supportive encouraging part of your life.  You should be very proud of yourself for having the strength, clarity, courage and intelligence  to see the impact of drinking.  May you continue to have success in your sobriety.  

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Social Butterfly

I am an alcoholic and I can only tell you my experience (I am also away from my fam and not interested in reunification at this time)...

 

The beginning of my end was decades ago; none of my fam knows the truth except for one and she cannot any more. Nor would she earlier when she could. It wasn't sexual abuse or physical or mental abuse, but it was abuse.

 

#StaySafe


#VegasStrong
Phil Harris, actor and showman, to John Fogerty of CCR: “If I’d known I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
Social Butterfly

@WebWiseWoman  First, I am sorry to hear  there is no longer communication between you and your family. I'm always saddened when this happens. But it sounds like you feel this is what is healthiest for you at this time.  I've always been confused by the terms alcoholic, recovering alcoholic and recovered alcoholic.  What are the definitions for these terms?

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Social Butterfly

Thanks so much for your reply. Here's the best info source (nih) imho: Drinking Levels Defined. There aren't really "recovery levels", but alcohol levels, I believe...

 

There are generations of my family who have this problem; in the back of my mind, staying away from the youngest might prevent this in future generations. idk but it's worth a try...

 

#StaySafe


#VegasStrong
Phil Harris, actor and showman, to John Fogerty of CCR: “If I’d known I’d live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.”
Social Butterfly

@WebWiseWoman Thank you for the info.  My brother definitely exceeds definitions for heavy drinking and binge drinking. It's really a helpless feeling, when nothing I have said or done changes his behavior.  Guess you really do have to accept the things you can not change.  

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Honored Social Butterfly

Help yourself - go to AL ANON

 

It's Always Something . . . . Roseanna Roseannadanna
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Social Butterfly

@GailL1  That is a resource I am considering. Thank you for being direct.

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