How Can You Support An Alcoholic Sibling?

[JamesW236329]

Hello

Exist any worthwhile or healthy activities I can partake in? Say? Accept? My brother has medical conditions and chronic pain, but he lives out of the country. has a long history of alcoholism. That he refuses help from his family and friends is heartbreaking. Advice?

[GailL1]

You can encourage him to seek help for his medical conditions.  If he is truthful with the medical provider (maybe / maybe not) they can help and direct him to help.

You could give him the contact for Alcoholics Anonymous in the country where he is - it's international, in most cases.   They can offer him help if he agrees with your assessment of alcoholism or even a problem drinking; that's his decision.  Hopefully there are sober others and meetings in his vicinity to help him but if not, there are many times online meetings that could start the ball rolling in his head.  

The very 1st step is that he must acknowledge that he has a problem - 

For yourself, Alcoholics Anonymous for family/friends or Al-anon will help you and others that care about him and themselves in dealing with the problem - it has helped millions.  

If you are a religious person - keep saying prayers that he finds his way - but with that - things may go from bad to worse cause God sometimes has to yell at a person to get their attention.

Heartbreaking - yep, that's right, it is.

Refuses Help from family and friends - of course - He maybe an alcoholic - but it is HE that has to acknowledge it and seek help; just like any other disease.  

[WebWiseWoman]

I attempted an PM but not available...

My name is Denese, 68 year old female alcoholic...

I hope this does not offend you or frighten you; I'm just offering my experience, perhaps that will be helpful...

I am an alcoholic; I am a sibling; I have always felt I didn't deserve them; they imho are so better than me.

The reason I don't have contact with them is my fierce protection of them, my shame at them enduring me, my sadness I can't be better for them.

I don't know how this ends; I don't know how to change my feelings of failure to those I love most; but I want my failures to encourage change for the future...

I hope this makes sense in a small way for you and your family; please know your brother is not thinking of himself, but of others. Know he'll always be with you in his own way.

#StaySafe

[nctarheel]

Advice about what? No one here is qualified to advise you how to deal with this issue. Your brother has chosen his path in life and while sad, don't let him drag you down with him. Seek a professional to help you deal with YOUR feelings about this untenable situation.

[WebWiseWoman · Accepted solution]

Dear one, you've always been a beacon but please see my post; perhaps different response?