a bit from the link ~ hope you will read the whole article ~
. . . . . . For family caregivers, this is a common, anxiety-provoking dilemma. They’ll promise Mom or Dad that they can stay at home through the end of their lives and never go to assisted living or a nursing home. Or they’ll commit to taking care of a spouse’s needs and not bringing paid help into the home. Or they’ll vow to pursue every possible medical intervention in a medical crisis.
Eventually, though, the unforeseen will arise ― after a devastating stroke or a heart attack, for instance, or a diagnosis of advanced cancer or dementia ― and these promises will be broken.
Mom or Dad will need more care than can be arranged at home. A husband or wife won’t be able to handle mounting responsibilities and will need to bring in help. A judgment call ― “this will only prolong suffering, there’s no point in doing more” ― will be made at the bedside of someone who is dying.
. . . . . “No caregiver I know sets out to deceive another person: It’s just that none of us have a crystal ball or can predict what the future will hold,” she said. “And the best we can do isn’t always as much as we thought was possible.” “We have to figure out a way to forgive ourselves.”
. . . . Promises can be explicit ― spoken aloud ― or implicit, understood without direct communication. Both kinds can inspire regret.
Yes, loved ones need to discuss and plan as much as possible this issue between each other - way before the close-by timing of any event BUT we all need to remember that there is no crystal ball to tell the future - We need to trust those for whom we are gonna make the final decision, when we no longer can. Trust them to know what is the best at the time - considering everything.
Since the so called opiode epidemic my pain meds I was on for 6 months were stopped and the stiffness and pains have crippled me to a point I had to sell my house and move into an apartment, stop driving, & had 4 heart attacks in a year!! from repeated pain & stress complications and generally give up a humane life style and now suffer mental disorders!!! Eventually, I had to except that I NEEDED a caregiver. In the last 9 months I've been thru 7 different caregivers because the state of Michigan refuses to pay them in a timely fashion or at all! Axiomatic I had to suffer EVEN MORE !!! PLUS the consequences, i.e.; one caregiver robbed me; another stole property and money; and another jumped on me and tried to kill me with a hammer!!!! Because of this last incident the apartment manager tried to evict me!!! I had to get a legal firm to defend me AND THAT TOO COST! ALL BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT REFUSES ME PAIN MANAGEMENT!!!!! And won't pay the cxaregivers properly!
I love fruits and veggies, always have. But cause of being on a fixed income that's so low I CAN'T afford to eat as many as recommended to maintain good healthy conditions. In the summer I do great because there are several places that I go where free fruits and veggies are passed out. Too many times I've lost or mismanaged or been scammed outta money and to avoid HUNGER I eat sandwiches for days til the next check. It's a point of fact that I except, & work diligently to now to avoid pitfalls.