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Info Seeker

Re: Financial Help

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Message 1 of 14

If their spouse is a veteran, you can apply for spousal benefits. I went through Senior Veterans Council and they helped me for free.  If you want them to file for you, it costs $1,300 but it is so much easier and they step-by-step guide you and check that the paperwork they send is very accurate. Also way faster than if you do the filing yourself. Do it asap and when approved, they pay you retroactively in a lump sum WHILE still receiving the monthly payment of approx. $1300.00.

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Regular Social Butterfly

Re: assisted living

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RoseC611089 wrote:

without savings how can we get into assisted living? We get ss, some pension, 

 


Hi Rose! I'm sorry i missed your question! Some counties and states have subsidized buildings for elders, with food and cleaning provided. There is a lovely place in DC for example which takes only 1/3 of your income and provides all kinds of services. One client (of a geriatric care manager i worked with) made only 600 income in SS, and so paid 200. what a deal. And in a very nice area of DC (tenley circle, very posh now.)  Go meet with a social worker at your agency for aging services, found by putting your zip code in eldercare.gov and come back to tell us what you learned! 

 

'cause we are all learning all the time.

 

jane

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Info Seeker

assisted living

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Message 3 of 14

without savings how can we get into assisted living? We get ss, some pension, 

 

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Regular Social Butterfly

Re: Financial Help

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Message 4 of 14

brianm715472 wrote:

What to do to get paid to be a caretaker for a friend ?


Can your friend pay you directly?

If your friend can't afford to do that, is he or she on Medicaid? If so, can he or she get aide services through Medicaid? And, if are you a CNA, certified nursing assistant, or home health aide, you can join the program as an employee and get paid that way.

 

Tell us more?

 

Jane

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Info Seeker

Re: Financial Help

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Message 5 of 14

What to do to get paid to be a caretaker for a friend ?

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Regular Social Butterfly

Re: Financial Help

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Message 6 of 14

catherines908525 wrote:

I am the primary caregiver of my boyfriends mothwr, ahe is 98, i am 54 I have been working my entire life and had a good career until my late husband became sick and started working part time retail. Mom was living with her daughter until last year, her daughter got burned our, she has two other daughters one retired and one qorking, no one willing to take care of mom.  She is a petite 4 ft 9 100 pounds and sweet as cam be but needs ally of atyention. I quit my job and moved into my boyfriends and became her caregiver. The family pays me, but does not equate to the income I was rwciwving. They will not put it on the books and my concern is that I have no income I can report and leaves me in a position that I can not apply for a loan , get approved for anything that requires proof of incomr. I cannot believe how selfish they are, my future is at risk because I am not paying into my own S.S., they ate saving thousands of dollars. There is a need to have more laws in place to protect caregivers. I love this woman and will not leave her to go into a nursing hone. Caregiver  going broke.


Hi Catherine,

You are in a pickle, which you agreed to get into, and now you are attached to your boyfriend's mother. There are several steps you can take, but you'll need to be willing to take them. 

 

Is this boyfriend going to marry you? I ask because you'll have some protections from him if you marry, if he owns his house, has any assets that he can share with you to help (somewhat, it depends) with your own future. That's one thing. And, how does he feel about how 'the family' is treating you? Does he have a say? or does he have a bossy older sister who 's in charge?

 

This woman is lucky to have you. She also has family members involved in her care. The entire family would benefit from talking to an eldercare lawyer to see how to do at least 2 things: 

1. take the best possible care of Mrs. 98 years old and

2. take the best care of you, as a worker and caregiver.

 

It sounds like 'the family' is willing to take advantage of you without any qualms. The feedback from GailL is good, and also pretty adversarial. Do you want to try a mediator first? 

 

This is indeed a mess. You'll have to see how much your boyfriend backs you up, and how much noise you are willing to make regarding how you are paid. The family may be breaking the law. But the best path may be to have everyone sit down and talk reasonably and calmly. You can't go on like this, and they need you. Is there a way to do this in a family  meeting? If your boyfriend will back you up....

 

Tell us more?

Thanks for writing! I know many caregivers get into these situations!

 

Jane

 

 

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Valued Social Butterfly

Re: Financial Help

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Message 7 of 14

catherines908525 wrote:

I am the primary caregiver of my boyfriends mothwr, ahe is 98, i am 54 I have been working my entire life and had a good career until my late husband became sick and started working part time retail. Mom was living with her daughter until last year, her daughter got burned our, she has two other daughters one retired and one qorking, no one willing to take care of mom.  She is a petite 4 ft 9 100 pounds and sweet as cam be but needs ally of atyention. I quit my job and moved into my boyfriends and became her caregiver. The family pays me, but does not equate to the income I was rwciwving. They will not put it on the books and my concern is that I have no income I can report and leaves me in a position that I can not apply for a loan , get approved for anything that requires proof of incomr. I cannot believe how selfish they are, my future is at risk because I am not paying into my own S.S., they ate saving thousands of dollars. There is a need to have more laws in place to protect caregivers. I love this woman and will not leave her to go into a nursing hone. Caregiver  going broke.


Seems YOU have put yourself in this situation by accepting this responsibility.

What would her family have done if you did not take on this responsibility?

 

You could always tell them that they are paying you in an illegal manner and report them to the IRS.  

 

You can can also tell them that you have to find a livable wage and thus they will have to make other plans.

 

You have tons of laws, rules and regulations on your side but YOU have to decide to use them just like anybody else who works for someone else.  Contact your state's dept. of labor and file a grievance against them.

 

They are using you and you are letting them do it - don't try to put this on society when you have ways to solve the problem but you have to take action to correct your own life.

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Info Seeker

Re: Financial Help

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Message 8 of 14

I am the primary caregiver of my boyfriends mothwr, ahe is 98, i am 54 I have been working my entire life and had a good career until my late husband became sick and started working part time retail. Mom was living with her daughter until last year, her daughter got burned our, she has two other daughters one retired and one qorking, no one willing to take care of mom.  She is a petite 4 ft 9 100 pounds and sweet as cam be but needs ally of atyention. I quit my job and moved into my boyfriends and became her caregiver. The family pays me, but does not equate to the income I was rwciwving. They will not put it on the books and my concern is that I have no income I can report and leaves me in a position that I can not apply for a loan , get approved for anything that requires proof of incomr. I cannot believe how selfish they are, my future is at risk because I am not paying into my own S.S., they ate saving thousands of dollars. There is a need to have more laws in place to protect caregivers. I love this woman and will not leave her to go into a nursing hone. Caregiver  going broke.

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Regular Social Butterfly

Re: Financial Help

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Message 9 of 14

luciep553592 wrote:
I noticed that the option of paying the family member to be the primary caregiver is not mentioned i recently had to deal with this issue and was heartbroken to realize that I only had so much income to pay a family member for my care does Medicare or insurance help with this sort of issue?

There are some states which allow the care recipient to pay a family member, and it's through the Medicaid program. You can find out if your state participates if you call the area agency on aging: put the care recipient zip code into the search box on www.eldercare.gov. 

 

Outside of this system you might be understand why this is a rare benefit: family members are expected to care for other family members, although obviously this is not always true. Perhaps the wider extended family can chip in to provide pay to a family member who is indeed sacrificing financially to care for someone in the family. Families don't talk about this kind of thing very openly, and then resentment builds up, including conflicts that happen when the care recipient passes away and there are hurt feelings around inheritance, etc. 

 

Please feel free to write more about your predicament, here. There are smart folks here who can respond.

 

best of luck to you and your family,

Jane

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 10 of 14
I noticed that the option of paying the family member to be the primary caregiver is not mentioned i recently had to deal with this issue and was heartbroken to realize that I only had so much income to pay a family member for my care does Medicare or insurance help with this sort of issue?
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Prepare to Care: A Resource Guide for Families download this free guide developed by AARP to help make caregiving more manageable. It includes information on how to have vital conversations with older family members, organize important documents, assess your loved one's needs and locate important resources.
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