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Re: Financial Help

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Message 11 of 17

I am the primary caregiver of my boyfriends mothwr, ahe is 98, i am 54 I have been working my entire life and had a good career until my late husband became sick and started working part time retail. Mom was living with her daughter until last year, her daughter got burned our, she has two other daughters one retired and one qorking, no one willing to take care of mom.  She is a petite 4 ft 9 100 pounds and sweet as cam be but needs ally of atyention. I quit my job and moved into my boyfriends and became her caregiver. The family pays me, but does not equate to the income I was rwciwving. They will not put it on the books and my concern is that I have no income I can report and leaves me in a position that I can not apply for a loan , get approved for anything that requires proof of incomr. I cannot believe how selfish they are, my future is at risk because I am not paying into my own S.S., they ate saving thousands of dollars. There is a need to have more laws in place to protect caregivers. I love this woman and will not leave her to go into a nursing hone. Caregiver  going broke.

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 12 of 17

luciep553592 wrote:
I noticed that the option of paying the family member to be the primary caregiver is not mentioned i recently had to deal with this issue and was heartbroken to realize that I only had so much income to pay a family member for my care does Medicare or insurance help with this sort of issue?

There are some states which allow the care recipient to pay a family member, and it's through the Medicaid program. You can find out if your state participates if you call the area agency on aging: put the care recipient zip code into the search box on www.eldercare.gov. 

 

Outside of this system you might be understand why this is a rare benefit: family members are expected to care for other family members, although obviously this is not always true. Perhaps the wider extended family can chip in to provide pay to a family member who is indeed sacrificing financially to care for someone in the family. Families don't talk about this kind of thing very openly, and then resentment builds up, including conflicts that happen when the care recipient passes away and there are hurt feelings around inheritance, etc. 

 

Please feel free to write more about your predicament, here. There are smart folks here who can respond.

 

best of luck to you and your family,

Jane

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 13 of 17
I noticed that the option of paying the family member to be the primary caregiver is not mentioned i recently had to deal with this issue and was heartbroken to realize that I only had so much income to pay a family member for my care does Medicare or insurance help with this sort of issue?
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Re: Financial Help

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Message 14 of 17

rc5209 wrote:

My 93 yer old mother has lived with my husband and i for the last 12 years (since her stroke).  We had a part time in home caregiver while I was at work.  Recently we had to move her to an assisted living home. It is a lovely home and I feel very comfortable with her care.  It doesn't look like she will be able to come home.

 

My question is: how do we afford this? Her savings will be gone within the next few months. Then it will be up to me, an only child.  Where can I get financial help?  Should I take out a mortgage on my house (plenty of equity). How much should I borrow? Should I be claiming her as a dependant on my income tax? I dont know where to start.


Hello there. 

Long term care finances in the united states of chaos is pretty darn complicated. Here are some suggestions, and some questions to ask.

 

One is to ask if the place she's in now accepts medicaid. Most don't. in which case, i would act quickly to find a place that does. and they usually have waiting lists. I used to be a geriatric care manager in montgomery county maryland which is a fairly wealthy suburb, and there were senior housing apartments which were well managed and pretty nice. Once a senior got in there as a resident, only 1/3 of his or her income had to go to rent. a FABULOUS deal. Mostly for independent seniors though.

 

To get to know what's available in your area, run do not walk to the dept of aging as another community member suggested. Go to www.eldercare.gov and type in her zip code and that will tell you which to go to. 

 

I would not put your own retirement or financial well being at risk. Each generation needs to look out for itself. Also, the US needs to do some public policy work on how to help out families just like yours. I'm not holding my breath.

 

An elderlaw attorney is an expert on taxes, deductions, investments, medicaid applications, for both your mom and you. they are not cheap but given your future, and hers are at stake, worth the expense. 

 

A cheaper path is to try a geriatric care manager, who can answer your questions about what is covered where. How to apply. Which group homes might be an options (much cheaper. but sometimes sketchy). Etc.  www.caremanager.org. 

 

are you overwhelmed yet? i hope not... what do you think is your next step?

 

keep writing, okay? we all learn from each other....

 

jane

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 15 of 17

We are going through the same thing with my Mom.  I brought her from Illinois to GA so she will be closer to me and I can help take care of her.  Looking for assisted living near me and they are all very nice, but very, very expensive.  Her savings will run out within a year.  We were hit hard during the economic downturn and, in our 60's, we are trying to recover and prepare for the future.  I am working two jobs that I can mostly do from home, but they require some travel.  Have her with me now, but I have to find her a place to live.  Very stressful and scary...

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 16 of 17

Sounds like she might have to quality for Medicaid in the state where she lives if she doesn't have enough income or assets to pay for care and it doesn't sound like you can readily help her out financially.

 

If you want to go this route - sometimes the Assisted Living social worker can give you the exact place to go - or you could contact the states Dept of Aging for assistance.  They will tell you if she is eligible after her complete financial picture is known and the types of programs they offer, depending upon her needs, and what facilities accept Medicaid payments for the care of the elderly.  It might or might not be the one where she is currently residing.

 

 

 

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Financial Help

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Message 17 of 17

My 93 yer old mother has lived with my husband and i for the last 12 years (since her stroke).  We had a part time in home caregiver while I was at work.  Recently we had to move her to an assisted living home. It is a lovely home and I feel very comfortable with her care.  It doesn't look like she will be able to come home.

 

My question is: how do we afford this? Her savings will be gone within the next few months. Then it will be up to me, an only child.  Where can I get financial help?  Should I take out a mortgage on my house (plenty of equity). How much should I borrow? Should I be claiming her as a dependant on my income tax? I dont know where to start.

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