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Re: Financial Help

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@sswain225 I can imagine how exhausted you are - I've cared for both parents at the same time too. I know you definitely need some help!

 

I'd suggest you go to your local area agency on aging and/or aging (AAA) and disability resource center (ADRC). You can find it at www.eldercare.acl.gov and put in your zip code or city/state. Call them and explain that you are caring for your parents and you need a) caregiver support (respite care - care for your parents so you can take a break, caregiver support group etc.) and b) you need help finding services to help you care for your parents. Tell them that you've tried to get Medicaid for your parents but they haven't qualified. Ask about anything you might be able to do the help them qualify (spend down etc.) and/or if there are any services they might be able to get on a sliding feel scale. 

 

You might also consider adult day services (the AAA or ADRC should be able to give you a list of them in your area if they are available). The cost for a day at an adult day services center is generally much less than paying for care at home...and it would give you a break if one or both of them went to a center for awhile - they could go a few times a week or even 5 days a week. I used to work in adult day services and we did offer a sliding fee scale - people paid what they could afford to pay. 

 

One more thought - are either of your parents Veterans? If so you can contact the VA Veterans Caregiver Support at www.caregiver.va.gov to ask about any services, home-based care etc. they may be eligible for. 

 

Please let us know what you found out and how else we can help! 

 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving and

Color Your Way Content When Caring for Loved Ones

 

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Re: Financial Help

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Message 2 of 24

I’m taking care of both parents. Their combined income does not allow them to qualify for Medicaid. I’m the only one caring for them in a rented apartment.

Please help I’m physically exhausted most of the time.

 

Sincerely

Shirley

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Re: Financial Help

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@DennisG695405 I can imagine how stressful this is for you! And the extra costs from late fees etc. really add up fast. 

 

Have you thought about setting up your bill payments on auto-pay - either through the companies you are paying or through your own bank? That can eliminate late fees. But you’ll need to ensure enough money is in your account every month. 

 

Here in the AARP Online Community, we have a forum on Budget and Savings. AARP also has some great online resources on budgeting here: online Budget Calculator and articles on Living on a Budget.

 

Your county Cooperative Extension service generally offers free classes to help with financial management (they do more than farming and gardening and have locations in urban areas too). Contact your state’s Cooperative Extension service to ask about local classes. And you can take their online courses on Personal Finance too!

 

There are organizations like credit.org that offer free online courses too. 

 

I hope this is helpful! If you let me know the state you live in I can tell you how to find your Cooperative Extension office too! 

 

 

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Re: Financial Help

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Hello,

I'm going to try this, however I'm not real sure I'll be able to locate your response. I accidently stumbled on this page.  Anyway, would you have any ideas on how I can get preferably free if not cheap refresher in home budgeting.  I was raised well and taught how to budget.  However, over the years I'm not able to keep my checkbook balanced.  If debits and checks cleared immediately it would help me.  It doesn't help I have very bad attention deficit disorder which makes me forget easy.   In this example, if debits and checks don't clear immediately I forget to follow up efficiently which generally ends up in bank fees for them transferring money needed.   I also am good at paying bills, however I keep intending to pay Bill's frequently passing the due dates/grace periods.  You guessed it I'm hit with late fees almost non-stop.  Then certain things require me to have funds automatically deducted from my account for payments.  This I often forget about spending the money meant fir those Bill's.  I seemed to have lost total control of my finances and not being able to keep checkbook balanced often don't help me at all.  Again, paying my Bill's is simply putting off.  In my ADHD mind I'm saying daily I need to pay Alliant, Charter, or U.S. Cellular.  However because of the severity of my disorder I'm very easily distracted frequently leading to late fees.  Charter $10.00 and U.S. Cellular $5.00 each month.  PLEASE HELP ME!   Thanks in advance for your time. 

Signed,

Frustrated 

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Re: Financial Help

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Hi @IreneG143440 :  Sorry to hear about this predicament.  Talk about a kick in the gut.  So, did I read your post correctly that your brother is suing you for $1000.00?     Most matters are best handled through mediation rather than extended litigation and I am wishing you luck in your search for a mediator.   It's such a small amount of money, I hope this can be resolved without a lot of expense.  Have you filed a response or asked the court or clerk for guidance?  For all people who've been sued,  it's critical to  be sure you address any deadlines/timelines to respond to a lawsuit.

 

And yes, I'll second you on the importance of receipts.  They are a necessity.  If you were to end up in a guardianship situation with a loved one, for example, you would have to show accountings to the court (this means an accounting with adequate supportive documents like receipts, cancelled checks, proof of payment).

 

Please keep us posted and know that I am wishing you the best of luck.

 

Amanda Singleton
All posts are intended to convey general information only and not to provide legal advice or opinions. The posting and viewing of the information in this community should not be construed as, and should not be relied upon for, legal or tax advice in any particular circumstance or fact situation. The information presented may not reflect the most current legal developments. An attorney should be contacted for advice on specific legal issues. Nothing written in this community is intended to create an attorney‑client relationship. An attorney-client relationship may only be established through direct attorney‑to‑client communication that is confirmed by the execution of an engagement agreement.
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Re: Financial Help

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Hi, I'm new to this blog, read . Did you ever figure it out? I am unfortunately in similiar right now.
Live in Virginia. No Help from any Siblings.
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Re: Financial Help

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Main caregiver of Mom, she does live in a Memory Care Facility, however I am the one who has always visiting, buying sundries.. etc.

I am reaching out to ask for a Mediator.

Brother has brought a lawsuit against me, for a 2 checks in 2017,2018 reimbursed myself for Aides that I paid in cash.  total of $1000.00 and change.

 

Brother has not visited, helped in her care.. nothing.  I have spent so much on Mom, without thinking twice..   Well over 3000., Lawyer wants "receipts"..    

My Bad, because, I just take care of her, and.. NO I DID NOT KEEP RECEIPTS, 

   just never thought it would come to this...

Am at Wits end.

My life is being sucked away slowly, I am happy to care and pay for Mom when she needs.

 

BUT.. atty says it will cost 4k to take him to court to fight the allegations.

 

So in the end, I could really use a mediator to help resolve this crazy to avoid any more stress or court for Mom.

And  .... ATTN CAREGIVERS..  hard as it may be. . gotta keep them reciepts.

 

 

 

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Re: Financial Help

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@c274851r wrote:

I'm the spouse & caregiver to my disabled husband. He's 59 & gets disability from SSI. He has medicare not medicaid. He was diagnosed with MS in 1994. We've done good, I've worked full time until last year. His body use is deteriorating. He can not walk without assistance walker or wheelchair. He can't be alone but maybe an hour or two. Trying to keep up with his personal care, cleaning, & meals, etc. Just alot & we cannot afford not having my income. He perfers me taking care of him. I'm trying to find in SC, some financial assistance but haven't found anything. I'm 60. We've borrowed all we can from life insurance, I've had to use all of what I saved in 401k & IRA. I'm lost as to what I do now. Any suggestions?


Hi there. It sounds like you love your husband very much, AND ALL the burden is on you. Here are some ideas.

 

Your area may have services he's eligible for. Of course he prefers you. He'll have to get acquainted with a few more caregivers if he is to honor his promise to help YOU. And maybe there are free or subsidized service for disabled in your area. He is younger than 60, when elder care services tend to start, but there should be services all the same. I've found the easiest way is to type in your zip code into www.eldercare.gov, and call the agency that pops up. Ask if they can assist your husband given his age, and if not, is there an ADRC or other agency that will. Then ask what they have, especially respite care, which is help that gives you a break.

 

Do you own your home? Do you have savings? Do you have an accountant, financial planner, or attorney? It's time to 'bite the proverbial bullet' and do some long term planning which allows for the best possible care for him while at the same time preserving your financial health for your own future. Although lawyers are not inexpensive, you will benefit from bringing all your financial information to one in order to discuss what assets can be preserved (like your house if you own it, and your car) and what he can realistically benefit from eventually, like long term care medicaid.  this is hard stuff, tedious, and really complicated, based on state and federal laws. But it really needs to be done, so that you both know what you're facing.

 

It would also be really good if you both could enlarge the caregiving circle. Do you have children? Does he have siblings? Cousins? Friends? Former coworkers? Some folks who can visit, give you a break?  Social isolation for you and him is a natural development of your situation, but it doesn't have to be. You both need social support. 

 

What do you think about all this?  Please write back. And thank you for sharing your situation

 

Jane

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Re: Financial Help

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I'm the spouse & caregiver to my disabled husband. He's 59 & gets disability from SSI. He has medicare not medicaid. He was diagnosed with MS in 1994. We've done good, I've worked full time until last year. His body use is deteriorating. He can not walk without assistance walker or wheelchair. He can't be alone but maybe an hour or two. Trying to keep up with his personal care, cleaning, & meals, etc. Just alot & we cannot afford not having my income. He perfers me taking care of him. I'm trying to find in SC, some financial assistance but haven't found anything. I'm 60. We've borrowed all we can from life insurance, I've had to use all of what I saved in 401k & IRA. I'm lost as to what I do now. Any suggestions?

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@brianm715472wrote:

What to do to get paid to be a caretaker for a friend ?


BrianM715472:

HERE is a hepful article that might give you insight into exploring options for this. 

AARPJen
Caregiving Concierge
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