Have suggestions to find the right therapist?

[AARPRachelA]

When life takes a challenging turn, it can be hard to take things in stride. Perhaps you're feeling persistently irritable (a frequent sign of depression) or experiencing the stress that often comes from caring for an elderly parent. Maybe your marriage is in a rut or you're grappling with a major life change, such as adjusting to retirement or an empty nest.

If you're feeling depressed, anxious, worried, or out of sorts, and it's taking a toll on your life, it may be time to turn to therapy to cope.

Here are great suggestions to help you find the right therapist.

Do you see a therapist? How has it helped you?

[AleCandor]

This is a great topic! I have gone to therapists at a couple of points in my life. The most recent was about 10 years ago. I had a mix of things I wanted to deal with. There were some behavioral things, like talking too much when I get nervous in social situations, or similarly, using a wall of words to keep someone at bay when I became nervous that things were moving a little too fast or I thought they were trying to get too close too fast, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But I also wanted to explore myself, and try to gain some understanding of what was going on inside of me. But I didn't know very much at all about approaches to therapy. What I did know was that my therapist kept us very focused on working at the behavioral things, like my talking too much, and steered away from trying to engage in self examination and understanding about what might lie behind it. Some time later I went back to school to study psychology, and now I realize that that therapist was focused on a behavioral approach. But I learned there are an array of approaches, and it's useful to know what they are, to help you when you decide to find a therapist. CBT is great if you want to deal with problems by examining, identifying and modifying thoughts and behaviors. It's often great, and fast at helping with anxiety, depression and phobias. If you are trying to get better by learning more about your inner self, a psychodynamic method is a good path, but generally requires more time. And there are other similar approaches like humanistic/existential (patient led) approaches, which can also be good at looking inside yourself to try and gain a better understanding of who you are. I think maybe the best way to decide, is if you ask a therapist you are considering how they approach therapy, and think about whether that method resonates as a productive way to go about helping you with your problems. 

[angeleyes64]

I have had several challenges through my life and through my marriage. Married young 4 yrs of Marine life, 14 mos of Viet Nam with a Marine wounded coming home who I knew was not the same boy of 17 who went in  4 yrs earlier. Aggressive, short-tempered, not knowing how to adjust to civilian life, and back then no assistance. 

A miscarriage I tried for 4 years to get pregnant and 4 more yrs until I did. She then ended up with the worst colic for 4 months. 

The usual young couple struggling. Then 5 yrs later another baby she ended up in the hospital at 10 days for a week having caught a virus in the Hospital. 

Finally, that 3rd baby killed at age 20 so I did see a grief therapist for 3 years also 2 Support Groups. Now I see a therapist for different reasons in my life back to my childhood. To me, it's just someone who listens, not family or friend who seems to care if they're good.

There is no shame in a therapist or being medicated as I am for depression. I think with my personality I will be medicated until I die. I don't think I will ever cope with the death of my baby girl. without it. 

[AARPRachelA]

Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing your story @angeleyes64. I appreciate you being so open and speaking about the struggles you've endured. I think it's really important that we make space for people to have conversations like this right now. I agree, there is no shame in seeing a therapist or taking medication. Life is hard! You gotta do what you gotta do to survive ❤️