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- Re: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons.
Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.
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Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.
Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves.
BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Solved! Go to Solution.
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STANDARDS
Little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, โAre you a stranger here?โ He replies, โI used to live here years ago.โ
โSo, where were you all these years?โ
โIn prison,โ he says.
โFor what did they put you in prison?โ
He looks at her, and very quietly says, โI killed my wife.โ
โOh,โ says the woman. โSo youโre singleโฆโ
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GRANDMA AND THE NUDIST COLONY
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmotherโs eyesight is and hopes she wonโt notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, โThank you for the picture. Change your hair style? It makes makes your nose look awfully short!โ
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Very funny Dave. Sad but I know a very senior couple who have a 30 something son who will not leave. Their gentle prodding and mindful hints have proven fruitless. He won't budge. Maybe I'll suggest the changing of the locks the next time he goes on vacation. Smile.
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Arthur is 90 years old. Heโs played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. โThatโs it,โ he tells his wife. โIโm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once Iโve hit the ball, I canโt see where it went.โ His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, โWhy donโt you take my brother with you and give it one more try.โ โThatโs no good,โ sighs Arthur. โYour brotherโs a hundred and three. He canโt help.โ โHe may be a hundred and three,โ says the wife, โbut his eyesight is perfect.โ So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. โDid you see the ball?โ โOf course I did!โ replies the brother-in-law. โI have perfect eyesight.โ โWhere did it go?โ asks Arthur. โI donโt remember.โ
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