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Honored Social Butterfly

Funny Stories and Life Experiences

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

 ‐‐------------------------

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Honored Social Butterfly

What about the elk!

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A shipment of stock has arrived at the small store where I work, so I get out my box cutter and get to work. I’m using it the way I always have: put out the blade a bit, cut away from myself, cut both the sides, and then start the top. Take one flap and tug it up, and the tape tears cleanly all the way down so the box can be opened.

My manager walks in and sees me open a box. She’s an older lady who’s worked retail for decades and is very convinced that anyone under the age of sixty is an empty-headed child.

Manager: “You’re doing it wrong.”

Me: “Wrong how?”

Manager: “Here, let me show you how to do it right.”

She takes the box cutter, pushes the blade out as far as it will go, and stabs it into the top of the box, dragging it from the far end toward herself.

Manager: “Now you try.”

Me: “Uhh, how about I start moving stuff to the floor?”

I grab some stuff to stock, so I can avoid having to make a choice between disobeying or doing it so dangerously. Minimum wage is not worth a potential gut stab.

Later as I come back into the stockroom, my manager is on the computer with a basket of product beside her, damaging things out.

Manager: “I don’t understand why they keep sending us product that’s been slashed open! It’s ridiculous. Just look at this!”

She showed off packaging that had clearly been stabbed into and sliced across, exactly like someone took a box cutter and stabbed it full-length into the box and then dragged it open. Gee, I wonder how that could have happened!

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2. The fake report card: I failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. I did this every quarter that year. I forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. She was PISSED—at the school for their error. The teacher also retired that year and had already thrown out his records, so they had to take my mother’s “proof” (the fake ones I made throughout the year) and “correct” the “mistake.” I’ve never told her the truth.


@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we 


@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to 


@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to 


@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

  • "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
    and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
    And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
    and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
    They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

    "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

    "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
    and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke 

 How to win games: When I was little, I would go on Nickelodeon.com all the time and they had this game similar to Club Penguin, except it was called Nicktropolis. And if you forgot your password, a security question you could choose was “What is your eye color?” and if you got it right it’d tell you your password. So I would go to popular locations in Nicktropolis and write down random usernames who were also in those areas, and then I would log out and type in the username as if it were my own and see which of these usernames had a security question set to “What is your eye color?” (Which was most of them, since it was easy and we were all kids). I would then try either brown, blue, or green, and always get in, then I would go to their house and send all of their furniture and decorations to my own accounts. And if I didn’t want it, 
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The point where the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans meet is a fascinating natural phenomenon, often characterized by a visible line where the two bodies of water appear to clash but do not fully mix. This unique phenomenon occurs primarily due to differences in the salinity, temperature, and density of each ocean's water. While these differences do not create a solid barrier, they create a gradient that makes it difficult for the waters to fully blend, resulting in a striking contrast that can be seen on the surface.
One of the most notable places where this phenomenon occurs is at Cape Horn, the southern tip of South America, where the Pacific Ocean meets the Atlantic. Here, the waters of the Pacific, typically cooler and less salty, encounter the warmer, saltier waters of the Atlantic. These differences cause each ocean to retain its unique characteristics for a while before they gradually blend through diffusion and currents. This phenomenon is further influenced by powerful ocean currents, like the Antarctic Circumpolar Current, which flows around Antarctica and affects the waters where these oceans converge. Such currents contribute to the distinct separation line that travelers often observe in photos and videos.
Beyond the physical aspects, the meeting of the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans has long held symbolic and cultural significance. It represents a natural boundary between two vast and diverse ecosystems, each home to unique marine life adapted to its environment. This convergence zone also poses challenges for marine navigation, as the differing currents, temperatures, and wave patterns can create unpredictable conditions, making it a notorious area for sailors.
Scientists study these oceanic differences to understand more about climate patterns, marine biodiversity, and the ways in which these two major bodies of water influence global systems. This meeting point between the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities of our planet’s natural processes and the unseen forces shaping life within and around these waters.

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A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it's today."
The bartender said, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one's on me."
As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink, too."
The lady said, "Thank you, how sweet of you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of water."
"Coming up," said the bartender.
As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink too." The lady said, "Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch, with two drops of water."
"Coming right up," the bartender said.
As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?"
The old woman giggled, and replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.

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LIFE IS SHORT, SO ENJOY IT!
The day barely starts, and suddenly it’s evening. Monday turns into Friday, and before we know it, the year is almost over. Time flies, and we lose loved ones—parents, friends—until we realize it’s too late to turn back.

So, let’s make the most of the time we have left. Find joy in the things we love, add color to our grey days, and appreciate the small moments that fill our hearts with love.

Let’s stop putting things off. Waiting for “later” means missing the best moments—family time, friendships, experiences. "Later" isn't guaranteed.

Life moves fast: priorities shift, health fades, kids grow, parents age, promises are forgotten. One day, it’s too late to do what we should have done or said.

The time is now. The day is today. Life is a short trip—so live it fully while you can, because there’s no turning back.

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I have eaten everything on this list at some point in my life. Yes I like somethings more than others.

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How about you?

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Yes, I've tried them all. 1 point for every food item I wouldn't eat? Hmmm.

 

20 Years Ago: 0. Presently: 21.  (*^ ‿ ⁢*)

_____________________________________________________________________

 


@DaveMcK wrote ‎09-24-2024 12:05 PM:

I have eaten everything on this at some point in my life. Yes I like somethings more than others.

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How about you?


 


⭑ ๋࣭ ⭑... ⌞What the GLITCH!⌝ ... ⭑ ๋࣭ ⭑(っ ͡ ͡° - ͡ ͡° ς)
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@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

--------------------------



@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

‐----------------------

 


@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

 




Thank you, Don, for asking me to reply to your humorous question.

Shall I inform you of the time I stuck a TV dinner in that newfangled contraption called a microwave? You do realize they used to package these TV dinners in aluminum trays. Right?

Should I write about the time I placed the tea kettle on the stove, so I could make a cup of coffee, then promptly forgot the kettle was on the stove? The Fire Department helped me peel my copper-bottomed kettle off the burner. Why do you think they invented Smoke Alarms?

How about the time I conquered my preadolescent fears and succeeded in accomplishing a fine dive off our high school three-meter board? I broke the surface of the water quite proud of myself, only to discover my swimming trunks floating about ten feet away from me.

What about the time I wanted to make a toasted peanut butter sandwich and needed to buy a new toaster…to go along with my new microwave, and my new tea kettle?…And my new smoke alarm.

I never received any instructions to accompany Mom’s newest addition to my athletic wardrobe, quaintly known as the Jock Strap. I was an incoming high school freshman, suiting up for my very first class in Physical Education. Allow me the opportunity to assure Freshman boys Athletic Supporters are not worn on the head. At least that’s what my angry coach told me. (I’m still not too sure if he was angry at my stupidity, or at the student who told me Jock Straps are worn like a hat.)

Then, there was the time I buried a penny about an inch deep in well-cultivated soil. For weeks, I faithfully watered and weeded, hoping against hope. Dad taught me a valuable lesson.

“Jimmy? There is no such thing as a Money Tree!”

Then, there was the time when another young man introduced me to Chewing Tobacco. I chewed it. I swallowed it, and promptly vomited all over the asphalt. It was then that I learned Chewing Tobacco is not a Dark Green Leafy Vegetable.

How about the time Brian and I decided to “dig to China”, uncovered our septic tank, and promptly fell in? We could have sworn we heard people chattering in Chinese. Not only did we have take a bath, Mom had to disinfect our bathtub when we were done…and it wasn’t even Saturday night, yet.

I’m sorry, my friend. I just can’t seem to think of anything funny that ever happened to me. I guess my sense of humor became dampened in this rainstorm we’re receiving.

I guess it’s true, what people are saying. There are three kinds of people in this world.

There are people who make things happen.

There are people who sit back and watch things happen.

And there are a few of us few poor souls who scratch our heads and wonder just what in the Hell happened?

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, my friend.

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  1. You may have heard about what happened to the little boy in the middle of this picture.
    He cuts grass to make extra money.
    He calls his company Mr. Reggie’s Lawn Service.
    Recently a woman hired him to cut her grass.
    And the woman next door called police on him.
    The reason:
    Because he accidentally cut some of her grass.
    (The lines between the two yards weren't clear)
    I know.. it’s ridiculous.
    But this is a story about what happened next.
    And I promise it will put a smile on your face.
    Joe Revay (on the left) saw the story and was so "pissed" that he decided to do something for Reggie.
    This is what his wife posted:
    I'm not much of a 'bragger' but I'm going to brag! Lol.
    My husband is one of the most sweetest, kindest, selfless and humble men I've ever known.
    A little boy on the news in Maple Heights was mowing lawns and had the police called on him for, "mowing a piece of the neighbors lawn", smh.
    We were so pissed.
    Here's a 12 year old (and his siblings) trying to make some money and keep busy, so my husband decided to step in.
    You don't discourage kids or anyone doing the right thing!!
    Especially in todays world.
    My husband, owning a landscaping business decided to reach out to his mother and help him out with some equipment (a blower, etc) to make it easier for him to do these lawns.
    What I wonderful young man and family!
    God bless them!!
    And I'm so blessed to call this man my husband!! 💙
    Be kind and always spread love!
    --Shawn Revay
    As one person wrote afterward:
    “That’s how u make America Great.”
    Yup.
    I couldn’t agree more.

Credit to the respective owner

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EXERCISES FOR SENIORS

You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a five-pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can.

After a few weeks, I moved up to 10-pound potato sacks, then 50-pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute!

Next, I started putting a few potatoes IN the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level.

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STINGY OLD LAWYER

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.

After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.

His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.

“Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”

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July 21, 2024 marks National Ice Cream Day, and many places are offering freebies and deals to celebrate the day. The day is actually a federally-recognized day, being formally recognized by then-President Ronald Reagan in 1984.

Wisconsin's favorite ice cream flavor shouldn't surprise you. What is your favorite flavor? Mine is mint chocolate chip!

MADISON, Wis. -- In honor of National Ice Cream Day, a new Google search analysis by Affordable Seating on Tuesday revealed the most popular ice cream flavors in Wisconsin.

Affordable Seating representative Ross Williams said five Google search variations were used to find Wisconsinites' favorite flavors, including "[flavor] ice cream," "[flavor] ice cream near me," and "[flavor] ice cream recipe." The top five favorite flavors were ranked from highest to lowest monthly search volume. Wisconsin's winning flavor, in true Midwestern fashion, was Blue Moon.

Following Blue Moon, Affordable Seating said Wisconsin's other favorite flavors included Superman (#2), Neapolitan (#3), Vanilla (#4), and Spumoni (#5). Blue Moon won the state by a landslide, beating out Superman by over 1,000 more Google searches.

 

Affordable Seating data shows the rest of the U.S. may not follow Wisconsin's Blue Moon hype. Nationally, Blue Moon ranks 11th on the list, beaten out by more classic flavors like vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.

 

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Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

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I recently found these great stories on line that not only are a little humorous but also have very good “morals of the story.” Please note..while I am not a big fan of certain language, in the case of a I couple of these stories, they just fit perfectly. Enjoy!

 

Leason 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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WE WERE A GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER COME BACK.
A generation that walked to school and then walked back.
A generation that did their homework alone to get out asap to play in the street.
A generation that spent all their free time in the streets with their Friends.
A generation that played hide and seek when dark.
A generation that made mud cakes.
A generation that collected sports cards.
A generation that found, collected and washed & Returned empty coke bottles to the local grocery store for 5 cents each , then bought a Mountain Dew and candy bar with the money.
A generation that made paper toys with their bare hands.
A generation who bought vinyl albums to play on record players.
A generation that collected photos and albums of clippings of their life experiences as a Kid.
A generation that played board games and cards on rainy days.
A generation whose TV went off at midnight after playing the National Anthem.
A generation that had parents who were there.
A generation that laughed under the covers in bed so parents didn't know we were still awake.
A generation that is passing and unfortunately it will never return no matter how hard we try.
I loved Growing up when I did. it was the best of times.

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Life Sentence
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, and he appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
What’s the matter dear?, she whispers as she steps into the room. Why are you sitting down here this time of the night? The husband looks up from his coffee, Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? he asks solemnly. Yes, I do she replies.
The husband paused, the words were not coming easily. Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?. Yes I remember, said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. Do you remember when he shoved the double barrel shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years.” Yes I remember that too. She whispered softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
“I would be getting out today”!
Author Unknown

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  • Who remembers this afternoon tv show from our youth

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American Bandstand Love! Dick Clark was the best host! ❤️


⭑ ๋࣭ ⭑... ⌞What the GLITCH!⌝ ... ⭑ ๋࣭ ⭑(っ ͡ ͡° - ͡ ͡° ς)
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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper 😁😁😁

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Did you have one of these on the playground where you went to grade school?

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Tomorrow we remember those that "GAVE THEIR ALL"!

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