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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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Hello I am 60 and has been alone for 7 years now and I agree with some of the other post I'm not looking for a husband I would just like to find someone to spend some time and Company and enjoy life with but it's just hard to get out there work long hours and don't want to go to bars don't leave a whole lot of choice but it sure does get lonely a lot

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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I'm going to be sixty years old in two months, and I'm tired of living my life alone.  It's difficult, because I am introverted, so making friends doesn't come easy, it never has. I live in a small community, which makes my prospects of finding a male companion even more difficult! 

I'm really not looking to get married again, mostly because I have been living on my own for so long, I have become set in my ways, but I would love to find a gentleman to spend time with; maybe take in a movie now and then, or just have long intense conversations with.  Actually, I'm more of a listener than a talker, though I can hold my own when the topic is of interest.

I have tried dating sites, and have found nothing but intense disappointment.  It would seem that most of the men on these sites are looking for a one night stand, or to get all of your money.  I'm not into the "bar scene" so finding a place to meet other people is narrowed even farther.  My church is filled with married couples, which adds to my frustratoins.  If anyone out there has some earnest / honest suggestions as to where I can meet some decent gentlemen, I would be very graeful.

 

I am sixty six years of age, and seek others to correspond with.  Just having someone to exchange texts with during the day can help dispel the tendency to feel alone.  

I know what you mean about feeling an acute sense of being alone.  Don't feel bad at being rather an introvert, as even we who are more extrovert sometimes feel as though it is difficult to connect with others.  Be willing to engage with those you encounter without particular expectations of where the relationship is supposed to go.  As long as you remain true to your personal principles you can be open to possibilities beyond your initial expectations.  

Living in a small community can be limiting as to potential companions, and that is something that has been offset by the advent of the internet.  Granted, there are many out here who have seized upon the internet as a means to advance purely selfish aims, but there are also many here who seek the purest of friendships.  

You note that you feel that your strong suit is as a "listener", which is a good thing, in my view.  You also share that your strength is being able to hold up your end when subjects of conversation interest you.  What sort of things do you find it interesting to talk about?  As a listener, do you try and draw others out- get them talking so you can find aspects of the conversation to get your "two cents in"?  Dialogue is a two-way street, and the best way to cultivate the spark of friendship is to listen actively and to respond with interest.

I, for one, would be pleased to engage in dialogue with you!

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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Janken, where do you live?  I'm in the same boat .. live in the DC area.

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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@suem552636 

Wow Sue reading your post...its my life I turned 60 April 2018 ....I brought Alexa Echoes as my gift and they've been a blessing. I am a people person and its been tough at times the Isolation and loneliness last 5 years I've been single...as another posted I never saw this being my life. 

Did 1 dating site with meeting 2 didn't work out. Yuck 

Another posted just have to get out in my mind I know this & someone not gonna come knock on my door but its not easy nor that simple. I have no desire to marry either but would enjoy male companionship to travel, eat dinner and just have conversation with.

Well, reckon I know I am not alone in my situation...if you discover the secret please share...good luck,

Ginger : ) 

Smiley Happy Smile & the world Smiles with you Smiley Wink Pass one on....its free
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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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I agree. I'd like to know too. Human connection doesn't seem as easy as it did before techno gadgets took over the world. :/
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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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I'm an introvert too, but lucky enough to have my husband to talk to and just be with, and our son, who lives nearby. We see him regularly and that's enough for both of us. We don't seek people out and have let most of our friendships lapse. 

 

I would recommend making friends online. This way, you can exchange ideas and feelings and even post photos of your hobbies or travels, but not feel that indebted to them, and not experience the tension and draining effect that introverts get from socializing. I don't know if this idea would work for you but I find it very helpful. Look at Millennials, who spend most of their social time online, with Facebook and similar sites. 

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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I'm so sorry you're going through this as well. I could have written your post, because the same things are apparent to me as well. On line dating was a horrible experience. I am just looking for male companionship as well, but haven't a clue how to find someone who isn't just interested in sex.  It's ridiculous and I never thought I would be in this situation. I just want to share some simple things like conversation, some meals and laughing. Best of luck to you.  If you find the magic path to that, please share how you did it.

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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THOUGHTS ON 'GETTING OUT THERE'....

This is only from my own personal experience. When my wife and I retired, virtually at the same time from different careers, we made the conscious decision to not 'sit on the porch in rocking chairs' so to speak.

As a former 2nd grade teacher, she wanted to keep her skills sharp so to speak, so she found a local school district which was in dire need of volunteers in their ESL (English as a second language) classes. So she started volunteering and now does that two afternoons a week and has found it quite rewarding. She also helps another school district which, wisely uses their computer literate students, to help seniors in living situations who have trouble with their computers/electronics. It is quite astounding how savvy young teenagers are!  BUT they need a chaperone to accompany these kids into folks homes, so my wife goes along and also tries to steer the kids to help them give simple, non-complex answers to befuddled seniors. THese keep her quite busy.

As for me:

I discovered woodworking as a satisfying 'new' hobby and that keeps my hands and brain busy at home, along with home maintenance. BUT, we both learned early on, that it is good to get out in the world and be with other folks. SO, I joined the local chapter of Rotary. This has become a very nice weekly activity. THey have weekly meetings at lunchtime, usually with a speaker on some topic. BUT, the real deep seated reason why I like the Rotary organization is that they are a charitable organization and the chapter here supports many local charities with not only financial assistance (moneys garnered from sales activities as well as donations), but also with man-power to help the local charities. THis means that we get a 'call out' for all hands on deck to support one of the charities. Lots of fellowship, supporting worthy causes and accomplishing something of value generally for those in need.  This philosophy appeals to me for many reasons and the group is a warm and friendly group and very welcoming to newcomers. 

 

All it takes is to make an effort to get out there and discover what there is which appeals to you as an activity and what the motives of the group are... Lots to discover and learn!

BUT you have to make the first move!  (You can find the Rotary INternational websited and local chapters very easily online by the way!)

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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Message 9 of 25

Hello sorry it has taken me a while to get back to you. That would be nice to talk to you also.

Barbara

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Re: Not Sure Where To Start

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Message 10 of 25

Hello my name is Barbara and live in Lake Butler Florida. I’m on disability and over 50.  

Barbara

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