Recognized Social Butterfly




The other day at the Kahala Hotel a few miles from Waikiki, I had an unnerving senior moment. Departing the elevator at the super scenic 10th floor, as I have often done, I veered left and walked down the corridor to check out the sunset over Diamond Head Mountain. After a brief view at the approaching sunset unfortunately obscured by clouds, I began to walk back to the elevator.

But at first I didn’t get very far. Becoming more and more anxious, I wasn’t sure how to proceed. Instead of going to the end of the corridor and taking a right, as I would normally do, I unaccountably turned left at every intersection on my way. All that I found was a tiny pathway to a few guest rooms. In my altered state, it never occurred to me to knock on any door to get directions or to call my wife for help. Then I got dizzy and began to hyperventilate.  I felt trapped in a twilight zone. Exhausted, I stopped near the end of the corridor, trying to visualize where the elevator had to be. I imagined that I might have overlooked it. Just as I thought about retracing my steps, I heard a noise. It was the elevator. I moved forward and turned to my right: there it was. My quest was mercifully over.

I have an appointment with a gerontologist in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to tell her about my mishap. Will she be amused or appalled? In any case, I’m thankful that I safely got off the disorient express.


The Perils of Hydration

Yesterday in downtown Honolulu I desperately needed to find a rest room. After I spied what looked like a pedestrian crosswalk, I plunged ahead, expecting vehicles to stop for me. Although they did so, the drivers, including a cop, weren’t very gracious. Some shooed me away, some raised their fists, and one man cursed at me (“You’re a **bleep**ing idiot”). Dumbfounded, I continued to run the gauntlet, ignoring some undecipherable remarks and woebegone gesticulations from the exasperated cop. Why had the Aloha Spirit turned so spiteful?

Just before I reached the other side of the street, however, I happened to look up. A stop light materialized, it was red, and it was glaring at me. Oops! I had not seen it earlier because of my frantic desire to get to a bathroom, an unfortunate consequence of having to drink at least 100 ounces of water a day.

Especially when I am under pressure, I have trouble looking in all directions either when driving or walking. At the same time, I have to cope with motion sickness, poor depth perception, and tunnel vision. I must become more aware of my surroundings.

I am grateful that I wasn’t injured from unintentionally jaywalking. Moreover, I have added another story to my ever expanding quota of nine lives, tales that have entertained my grandkids for years.


Unrest in the Restroom

The other day in Salt, a funky enclave of Honolulu, a restaurant hostess guided me to the men’s room. I slid back the wooden door, locked it, and discharged my business. When I finished, I unlocked the door and pushed on it so that I could exit. But it wouldn’t open. I pushed some more, at first gently and when stymied, more forcefully. No luck. What was wrong with the **bleep** door!

Déjà vu! Struggling to get out of a restaurant rest room wasn’t new to me. Years ago in Paris, because of a faulty lock, I was trapped in the WC. A waiter finally rescued me, alerted by my battering at the door and my non-stop screaming.

But this time, I saved myself. After a few more failed attempts, I noticed that the door began to shift a bit to the right. Duh! I wasn’t supposed to push (never mind bang at) the door; I was supposed to slide it open. What a revelation! How could I have been so clueless? Unsurprisingly, my short term memory all too frequently gets short circuited.

For a decade, I have been hamstrung by degenerative arthritis. Although so far I have been unscathed by advanced senioritis, I need to get a better grasp of my environment.  But it ain’t easy. That same late afternoon, I bumped into a dog and tripped over a curb.

0 Kudos
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Try the new AARP Perks browser tool! Get timely reminders about AARP resources, discounts, and other member benefits as you browse online. Install AARP Perks now.

AARP Perks

Members Can Play More

Membership unlocks free online games and puzzles including classic Atari Games. Join today for just $12 per year with Automatic Renewal.

AARP Membership

AARP Rewards

Activate AARP Rewards to earn points for games, quizzes and videos. Redeem for deals and discounts. Get started with AARP Rewards now!

AARP Rewards Badge

Music and Brain Health

From soft jazz to hard rock - discover music's mental, social and physical benefits. Learn more.

Music and Brain Health