AARP Eye Center
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow. But she couldn't touch it until she's 14.
giggle 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
How do you know when you're staying in a redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink". And the clerk replies: "Go ahead." 
Did you hear they've raised the drinking age for rednecks to 32? They want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
2 reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
1. The DNA is all the same.
2. There are no dental records.
A redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow. But she couldn't touch it until she's 14. 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
11-11-11
Now it want be here again for 100 years-
and we won't be here either -
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
HAPPY VETERANS DAY !!!
Living free because of veterans 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A group of friends from church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize and play games.
The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.When it came time for Al and Janet to be hosts,Janet wanted to outdo the others.
Janet decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But, mushrooms are expensive.She then told her husband"No mushrooms. They are to high in cost." "Why don't you go down to the pasture and pick some? There are plenty in the creek bed." he said.
She said, "No, some wild ones are poisonous." He said "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're okay." So she decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed and dried them and smothered her steak. Then gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, Janet watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to effect him. The meal was a huge success.
Later in the evening, a helper lady from town came and whispered in Janet's ear. She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died." Janet went into hysterics. She called the doctor to tell him what had happened.
The doctor said, "I will call an ambulance and come over as quickly as I can. We will give everyone enemas and pump thier stomachs. Everything will be fine, stay calm."
The EMTs and the doctor came and took each person into the bathroom. After the last was finished the doctor said he believed everyone would be fine.
They were all looking pretty weak, sitting around in the living room, when the helper lady came in and said, "You know, that fellow that ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped!"
In Response to Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY- " I didn't know THAT! by J0yce1
A good one- Do you know someone who seems to know everything?
Lol 
In Response to Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY- " I didn't know THAT! by J0yce1
thanks-Joyce1
Do you know someone who seems to know everything? LMBO! 
thanks-Joyce1
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
my BonnieC10- thanks
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee 
A good one lol
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack !
"Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt...
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear, " says the husband calmly. "They found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through." 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
"Why do people say, "Grow some balls?"
"Balls are weak and sensitive ! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina ! Those things take a pounding."
Betty White
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Women and cats do as they please...
Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
87 year old had just finished his morning jog
LMBO
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
The 87 yr.old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 yr.old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87 yr.old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80 yr.old stops at a bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "Yes, I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this sh-- but me!"
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
A large women, wearing a sleeveless sundress , walked into a bar in Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge rairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed to the all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, " What man here will buy a lady another drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but tell me why you keep calling her the ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high, has got to be a ballerina !"
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Maxine says:
The squirrels must be gathering nuts.
Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
What really scares me at Halloween is knowing that all the family holidays are coming up. 
"Some of the neighbor's kids actually look better in masks ! 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
Maxine says:
"Tonight's a full moon huh? Well at least my howling won't seem so out of place." 
In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10
I was in the 6 item express lane at the store
lol
