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Did you hear about the Italian Chef who died?
He pasta away. We cannoli do so much...
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today , gone tomato.
How sad that he ran outta thyme!
Sending olive my prayers to the family.
His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.
You never sausage a tragic thing.
It's such a shame, good people have to die fusilli reasons.
It was a farfalle from grace.
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So..... my brother has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl...both box seats.
He paid $3700 for each ticket.
He didn't realize when he bought the tickets, that the game is the same day as his wedding!
So, now he can't go.
If you are interested and would like to go in his place, it's at the First Community Church in Atlanta, Georgia at 4 p.m.
Her name is Tiffany. She's about 5'3" 110 lbs., a good cook, good looking, and makes $120,000 a year!
She'll be the one in the white dress.
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Susie Lee done fell in love
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it' all
She told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, Susie gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo' Ma don't know.
But Joe is yo' half brother.
So Susie put aside her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, "There's trouble still."
You can't marry Will my gal,
And please don't tell yo' mother...
But Will and Joe and several mo'
I know is your half brother.
But Mama knew and said, "My child
just do what makes yo' happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe
You ain't no kin to Pappy!"
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Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree..
Discussing things as they are said to be.
Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two...
There's a rumor around that can't be true."
"That man descended from our noble race..
The very idea is a great disgrace."
"No monkey has ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life."
" And you've never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk."
"Or pass from one to another
till they scarely knew who is their mother."
" Here's another thing a monkey won't do..
Go out at night and get on a stew."
"Or use a gun or club or knife..
To take some other monkey's life."
"Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss...
But brother, he didn't descend from us!"
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NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Block Champ and you could win $100! Learn More.