Humor of Complaints - We Need a Laugh

[Vexed]

After the influx of complaints lately, I thought we could use a few laughs about the subject.

  

What ones can you find?

[SummerOnTheWay1]

"I don't hang up on people... my system just 'disconnects'."

[SummerOnTheWay1]

"Customer service is the art of convincing a person they aren't a moron without actually calling them a moron."

[SummerOnTheWay1]

"In a call center, 'one moment please' translates to 'deep breathing time'."

[SummerOnTheWay1]

Customer service is the art of smiling while repeatedly explaining that "yes, turning it off and on again" is actually the master key to the universe.

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[5/28/26] Okay @Vexed , I am sure this thread will "disappear or get edited" in about an hour, but here are my contributions BEFORE I start to get ready to head to Staples (4 $5 eGiftcards). My 1st time of using my AARP eGiftcards (for points) in a store. Used my $10 one on Amazon when I had "broken" my ankle in December 2025 for a Hand-Held Shower Head setup. Got it FREE with a couple of leftover dollars applied to my Prime monthly bill. 💃👍🙃 Wish me luck! 🤞

[Vexed]

[Vexed]

 

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[5/27/26]

Lol @Vexed !!! 😅

Now to hope they leave your thread alone. 🤞

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➡️[*** @Vexed wrote:

 

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[Rocky818]

"I am enjoying reading these so thanks for the great idea!  Maybe we should run a thread on "excuses" people use that they have to drive way too fast and aggressive. We can make them up.  EG:  I am driving so crazy because I really want to get to that red light before you.    

" I work in customer service.  My headset hears more drama than reality TV."

Then my own one, I set my VM up on my phone for the max message.  It is a 2 minute message of just noises.  If someone has the patience to wait that all out and then leave a message, I might actually listen to their message.  

[SummerOnTheWay1]

[5/28/26]I agree @Rocky818 !!! What not start one (excuses), I will contribute.