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How to Recover After Dealing with Hardship

Resilience means having the ability to rebound from hardship and approach each day with determination that you'll thrive. Resilience comes from within, but you can learn ways to build resilience through practice. Explore the Building Resilience Challenge, one of four challenges in the Staying Sharp(R) Mental Well-Being Challenge Series. Visit AARP® Staying Sharp® for more information.

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THIS IS A REALLY  silly QUESTION; WHY?N0 one here is going to admit to having a hard time THEIR WHOLE LIFE.WHY?Americans  never want to hear bad realities;that,according to a psychologist,is why everyone drinks and drugs so much.--NO ONE wants to associate wthj very depressed,or angry,or poor people ,in America  these people don't exist!!To not be that much avoided person,we drink or drug to be"positive or happy."--So to be not avoided, we and I are trying to be"positive" all the time.I can't even get a caregiver (I have to use them,my walking is disabled,(I cant get my powerchair fixed, true!!-- )I have no car,I can't drive any more)-- caregivers  HATE PEOPLE who are depressed or angry.(I'm lucky to have roof over my head,some seniors or disabled people get homeless.)Yes,we don't talk about them).If you're a Vet you're really lucky to NOT get homeless.!!How do we reward our Vets?,we make sure they get HOMELESS,(often can't get benefits they fought for)and often can't get medical treatment.If I were Young again,id NEVER JOIN ANY military,not even the home-guard!-If I were drafted, id probably flee to Canada:Canadians hate us, but its better than being dead,disabled,homeless ,alone,or in lots of pain all the time.I have to go to AA and even that's difficult' I haven't drunk since I was 46 and the reason I really don't break and drink  ,iss im scared witless to have to do 90  meetings in 90 days!---drinking all that coffee is not good for my kidneys.the person who treats me like a king is my CAT.--SHE'S GREAT.She does not avoid me when im unhappy,which is the ideal person.im grateful i know her.Im sorry to be a pain,in AARP,I just have to get info. on my insurance.Be Happy!!

 

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This is exactly correct and also inhumane also,,,because my realities are so easy to escape especially at our age we’re always so cautious about when or if the other shoe is gonna drop and how bad will it be knowing that since the pandemic is our new norm and touched so many families all overcome the world it’s scary now the economy is off the charts sky rocketed and those 2 situations alone is alot to save be careful watch the spending even wanting to return to work part time just to save and the government showing no love my questions are where who do we turn to we have separate but similar situations and I come to the awareness of it all plan for those rainy days because my end game is the other shoe is going to drop or maybe has already it’s gonna be the new norm no matter what we’re in the biblical days my daughter recently moved back in to try saving up because our new norm has arrived and here to stay I’m so aware that we can’t take anything with us but not only the biblical days but our ancestors tried to tell us to plan plan and save we get what we need always do not reach for the wants and those needs can easily be met so much love my seniors because we now have arrived in every way imaginable and our new norm is definitely here to stay 

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Social Butterfly

My attitude is that I’ll kick the problem's butt, not vice versa!

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Be careful not to get kicked ok

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Resiliency is a very important aspect to support aging!  I'm with Betty White .. 'Getting old ain't for sissies!'. Recognizing we have loss and that grief is a natural response to loss is very important.   As we experience more and more losses they can accumulate and rip open old scars.  Our choice is give in or focus on what we have in front of us in this moment.  Maybe it's less but it's something. Recognize your strength and determination. Grow it.  That's what resiliency is, not quitting just because it's hard. There is potential satisfaction in that and joy around the corner if we let it in.

Periodic Contributor

It’s really really hard I am a witness and I’m living it but I’m trusting in a higher power,, my ancestors like grandma and grandpa that  instealed or at least tried to from their experiences and life struggles accomplishments about this thing we call life and they’re no longer here as in gone way to soon left with spiritual and so many memories that are actually true and now I’m reliving experiencing all the above but it’s so hard when in the middle of the age storm however it’s still so much to be thankful for and make certain those things are expressed to self and the younger ones to know that maybe now they’re not experiencing getting older and so full of youth but try to remember that the days are gonna come and it gets hard no to mention an old saying is we get better in time and I thank you so much for your post and allowing me to reply,,again a valuable lesson learned that it’s so much to be thankful for when we gets a certain age and feel like all is lost if only for a moment,,again thank you.

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im thankful i had $700 to pay for a whole roof.--other wise id be wet all winter.--money im thankful for.--Not having it,losing  over $40, 000 r, no gratefulness.--you have to have MONEY WHEN youre old.

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Hmmm, I think anyone who is old enough to choose to read an AARP post like this one is old enough to have already had their resilience seriously tested. Physical hardship, economic hardship, mental health hardship, relationship hardship; at least one and probably some complicated mix of more than one have already shown up on your doorstep at some point and refused to leave. Although “ … approaching each day with determination that you’ll thrive” is an inspiring aspiration, here’s the thing: If that has not been your natural “go to” mindset in the face of hardship, you can’t suddenly become a convert and expect some magic bullet. Better to summon whatever strengths have gotten you this far — and you know what they are, even if you wish they’d done their job better.

Periodic Contributor

1 I will extol thee, O Lord; for thou hast lifted me up and hast not made my foes to rejoice over me.

2 O Lord, my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me.

3 O Lord, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave; thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit.

4 Sing unto the Lord, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

5 For his anger kindleth against the wicked; they repent, and in a moment it is turned away; and they are in his favor, and he giveth them life; therefore, weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

6 And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.

7 Lord, by thy favor thou hast made my mountain to stand strong; thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.

8 I cried to thee, O Lord; and unto the Lord I made supplication.

9 When I go down to the pit, my blood shall return to the dust. I will praise thee; my soul shall declare thy truth. For what profit am I if I do it not?

10 Hear, O Lord, and have mercy upon me; Lord, be thou my helper.

11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; thou hast put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness,

12 To the end that my soul may give glory to thy name, and sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give thanks unto thee forever.
I'm pretty sure this is the one he wrote that mourned a stillborn child.

I especially love the latter half of verse 5: "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

 

Periodic Contributor

So being resilient and having resilience is great but then it last for a spell then I’m right back in thoz depressed moves even crying spells 

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Tears can be cathartic- which is good; it all depends which brain chemical is released in the process (I collected it on Pinterest a while back).
The research is still hazy and controversial, but I think there's something to it.  I've noticed that when I've decided to vent, sometimes it's helped and sometimes it didn't.  I tried to sort of keep track of what did and didn't work, and stick to what worked.  It got better, eventually.

Periodic Contributor

  • I’m exactly the same about tears that don’t always mean weak scared instead powerful happy to know that we have reached and went further into realities that we were told about in early age and yet it does last for a second it gets you down for a second life as we know has so many ups downs uncertainties it’s crazeee but again so much to live for be thankful for when resilience does kicks in and can move forward or even when we’re stuck with tears unanswered questions again it’s exactly what life is about 
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It’s a lot when we look around at not only the economy this pandemic but it’s the loss of close families and friends that’s so priceless and there’s no compensation enough to make you better which is troubling but with frame from so much to hopefully curve our situations is definitely a must it’s hard but reading telling the stories even wondering how worse can this get we have to do to keep our mental health together we have to take our individual situations digest and except plus have an escape plan to save our mentalities because although everybody situations are different it’s somewhat alike plan and be wise with what we hold bear and dear including monies and good luck to us all because I lost so much that money can’t not only compensate or make my pain less but I had to take the money and knowledge I was taught in younger years and try getting through my days my long nights even staying in control relying on the government but mostly myself to pull through that night and another night and another night so much it’s crazy but so far I’m actually coming out ok stratagize and survival is everything now to me and a daily rearranging my entire routine just for survival and I’m guessing it’s a survival tactic I wasn’t prepared for but now I know it’s all we have now to do so again my seniors our sense of norm has left us and a new norm is here for sure that no monies can or will ever compensate 

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@GinaB566599 wrote:

Tears can be cathartic- which is good; it all depends which brain chemical is released in the process (I collected it on Pinterest a while back).
The research is still hazy and controversial, but I think there's something to it.  I've noticed that when I've decided to vent, sometimes it's helped and sometimes it didn't.  I tried to sort of keep track of what did and didn't work, and stick to what worked.  It got better, eventually.


 

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I really genuinely love you guys for so many posts so many views about age resilience it’s definitely a lesson in progress plus a valuable gift that keeps giving when so many people can connect make comments about just about everything and I am thankful 

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