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Periodic Contributor

When Do You Know To Give Up?

We have been married for 32 years and the last 8 have been very rough. We have two grown children and both are out of the house the last one moved out last summer. We seam to have less and less in common and hardly have any conversation. When I am gone on business trips our phone calls are less then 5 min with nothing being ask about what I did or how the trip is going. Our physical activity basically left 8 plus years ago..... she doesn’t want to do anything just stay at home....

 

I don’t hate her, but it seams the spark is gone and has been and I am tired of trying and getting no where but I am scared to do anything, I guess I don’t want to hurt anyone....  I want the feeling of wanting to come home but I don’t have that and feel like I have a roommate.

 

any my suggestions or ideas?..

 

 

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Regular Contributor

Has she always been this way or just later into your marriage?

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Social Butterfly

I think when the communication stops, the twinkle in the eyes are gone and you both find excuses to avoid being home together... That's when you know it's over.

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Regular Contributor

Don't mean to sound uncaring but from my experience she has already moved on. She may or may not have someone else but her feelings and emotions have left the relationship. I would look to move on and not invest anymore time or energy on someone who does not want you.

Periodic Contributor

Yes, we have been to counseling several time and I have been praying about it for years. When we talk she’s says continent, and I want more. Her friends say she’s just not a person who shows love no passion at all, I feel any physical active is a challenge for her.... I don’t want to have to ask for some one to show me they love me.

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Bronze Conversationalist

Do you tell her this is how you feel?

Do you ask her how she feels?

 

Traveling for your work can kill a marriage; or perhaps I could say it helped kill mine. But not communicating what you think, feel, want and need also can kill it, and did kill mine.

 

Do you go to church? If you do and believe in it, keep going. Pray on it if you believe in prayer and ask God to help you.

 

Marriage counseling helps some people too; have you considered that or spoken to your wife about that?

 

Communication is key, and you should not feel badly about saying it as it is. Start a conversation and see what happens. If you two love each other, it isn't too late. Start talking!

Sir Granny Tracy
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