Dear RhondaR303211: Thank for replying, often times I see people write and either no one responds or if there is a response, the writer never acknowledges the reply. And yes, it could be that they have emailed privately. First, please don't feel that sharing your concerns and wanting feedback or a perspective is "personal business" we ALL need help and advice and guidance, no matter who or what you are. Nope, I did not perceive you as 'plead for advice". Did you ever see the movie "Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte" with Betty Davis? There is a line at the end 'we all have the need for a stranger'. The Character in the movie can't rely on anyone other than a stranger to help her. Interesting, right? The cousin and a doctor acting in concert are taking advantage of Betty Davis to steal her money. The concept of suffering in silence or not talking about 'private' stuff is unhelpful. It should become very easy to say, hey, what do you think of this situation. I have realized in relationships where there is a need, want or a wish, there lies the opening to compromise yourself and often the need, want or wish is not ever fulfilled and you can be exploited because you keep trying to make what you want to happen and the other person is using that to their gain. (when I say need, I don't mean needy, that's different) This happens in every relationship, sisters, brothers, parents, children, friends, husbands & wives. Relationships are an unspoken contract, often it is you treat me nicely & I treat you nicely and that works for years or briefly when one person violates the bargain. And then it is realized they weren't a friend either. People often don't know what the contract-bargain agreement is, one person may enter the contract with you treat me nicely & fairly and the other person's contract is I take advantage. You kept trying to make this living situation work, you did this and you did that, you respected their living space, they don't respect yours. When you moved in YOU made a " conscious effort not to be a meddling mother-in-law. I don't go into their part of the home unless invited." Well, what conscious effort did they make? Your contract was "to make her life a little easier with providing care child, so my grandson could having a loving granny to take care of him." How, specifically, has your daughter made your life "a little easier"? Make a list of how your daughter & husband have made your life easier? Value the time you spent with your grandson and greatly appreciate that he got to know you as a little boy, that connection lasts. You can still be a fabulous loving G-ma miles and miles away. Don't view moving as 'moving away' you can be just as dear from afar. You can email, zoom, text and call all you want to keep your G-son connection alive and dear. You can make cookies and mail them. He can visit YOU for a month in the summer. Change isn't the end, it is a new and better beginning. And you deserve to be happy. Now I am interested in your contemplation of moving to Panama City, I would like to hear about that's exciting. I will send you a private message, in the event it is preferred. Thanks, you made my day! It helps to be helpful too!!
