AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Caregiver for an adult child

ROZAREBE · ‎09-20-2022

Hello my name is Roz

I'm mom and caregiver to my adult daughter. My daughter his many health issues and requires complete 24 hour care. Yesterday I told her I needed to take a break away from her. I told her I get overwhelmed seeing her in pain or uncomfortable. She let me know I hurt her feelings. I apologized for how I expressed my feelings and she said she accepted my apology. I still feel bad about our conversation. Should I have handled it differently?

GailL1 · ‎09-22-2022

@ROZAREBE

You NEED a break - as with any relationship, sometimes we just need a bit of "self-time" in order to regenerate and get us back to center.

Look for some RESPITE care for your daughter or what about a day for your daughter at an Adult Day Care facility - she may need a break too and you could take some time for yourself.

OR perhaps a friend that would come and stay with her for a day so you could get away for awhile - get hair done, go to a sports event - whatever.

You do not want resentments or feelings of discontent to rise and not be able to shake them - they fester and grow - you need an outlet, she may too -

Stay way from H.A.L.T. - hungry, angry, lonely, tired. Not good for one's mental stamina.

You are a valuable caregiver to your daughter but if you wear out for whatever reason - that's not helping her. Look for some local RESPITE help - either get her to a facility that offers this service OR find an appropriate individual to come in to care for her while you get a break.

LeeS4949 · ‎09-22-2022

Hello. I'm so sorry for you and your daughters shared situation. In life we do the best that we can and it seems that you did in your case. I can't begin to offer any viable or useful advice but please let me say that this community is an excellent place to seek help. I'm a newbi here but I'm confident that you are in the right forum,rather it be professional input or just chatting. The best of luck to you in your search and please know that you are giving your daughter a great gift.. The gift of YOU. Be well.