Frank the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace he got was when he was out in the field ploughing. One day while in the field, Frank's wife brought him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Frank's old donkey kicked up his back legs, struck her in the head killing her instantly. At the funeral, the Priest noticed that when the women offered their sympathy, Frank would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side. After the mourners left, the Priest approached Frank and asked, "Why did you nod your head up and down to all the women and shook from side to side to all the men?" Well, Frank replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. And all the men asked, "Is that donkey for sale?”
I was liaison on an office move of all of our division to another floor during a renovation project. Since we had a lot of IT equipment, it required a lot of coordination and probably overwhelmed my contact in the department. It was taking a lot of time, so she wrote me an email saying "Please excuse the incontinence." She meant "inconvenience" but auto-correct made her reply so much better! The whole office had a good laugh.
I had been taking care of my parents for about 10 years. As their health declined, so did their ability to get outside of their home. I soon became no only their primary Care Giver, but their main source of entertainment. I didn't want them zombied-out in front of the TV for too many hours, so I tried to find ways to broaden their entertainment. Mom was declining quickly from Alzheimer's, so this was a difficult challenge. The last day I remember her laughing was while we were trying to bake cookies. I plugged my nose, closed my eyes and plunged my face into a big bowl of flour. You can imagine what I looked like. My Mom started to giggle, and then I giggled, and you know how you start and can't stop! We laughed so hard my Dad crabbed his walker to see what all the commotion was in the kitchen. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still hear a glimmer of my Mom's wonderful laughter. My Dad was soon in a wheelchair so I had a bigger challeng of getting him out of the house. I figured out a way to wheel him close to the beach in Laguna Beach, CA. Right in front of us was a large group of girls and boys playing volleyball. They noticed my Dad enjoying their game and gently tossed the volleyball to him. With my help, he was able to catch the ball and toss it back. With each exchange, my Dad started to laugh more and more. Again, I often close my eyes and try to remember his laughter. They are both gone now. It is bittersweet to feel their loss while remembering their laughter. But, most importantly their hearts and my heart were filled with gratitute - sharing laughter that filled our hearts with joy and love.
My husband and I decided to rescue our first dog together because recently we have become empty nesters and wanted something to keep our minds and bodies active. Getting Chloie was the best medicine ever! She makes us laugh every day with her running (gallop) around the house, the way she tosses her ball in the air and her goofy, crazy ways she sleeps. Laughter is the best medicine and so is walking your dog every day too.
Mom was living with me after she retired, and one day I came home from work but she met me at the door saying, " Be careful when you open the coat closet, there's a big bug in there." She went on to say, " I swatted it but after three good hits it still moved, so I sprayed it, and it still moved, so I stuffed paper under the door, and know it's in there."
Sure enough, a dark whispy thing the size of my palm was on the floor . . . a tangle of nylon threads from the seam of her raincoat." She would bring it up, and we laughed about that for two decades.
We'd been married ten months when we celebrated our first Christmas together. He was in the Marine Corps so our income was pretty low. We set an appropriate dollar amount that we each could spend on the other and went shopping. A few days before Christmas, he was really teasing me, trying to get me to reveal what I'd gotten him. I'd given him a couple of clues and then, he asked what color it was and I burst out with "Its the prettiest mint green sweater!". Then I started crying because I'd spoiled my Christmas surprise. He has never asked what I've gotten him since and we will celebrate our 53rd anniversary this month.
One year my Dad was asked to play Santa Claus for the Office Party. After putting on the suit, wig, b, and hat, I had to admit he made a very good Santa. Our next-door neighbor had several children, so my dad thought he would try out his Santa on them. He told me to call our neighbor and put the children in the Living Room, and he would enter through the back door (no chimney, sorry). I dialed the number and when I heard a "hello," I said, put your kids in the front room, my dad is coming in the back! I heard someone ask, "Who is this?" I had the wrong number!
In a small village in France, there was a coup;e who after many years of marriage still had not been able to have a child. They desparately wanted one, but their time for childbearing had almost run out when she finally becae pregnant. they were overjoyed and began to plan for the child they had wanted for so long. The child was finally born and in their combined joy at his arrival, they began to imagine what a great future was in store for this little lad. Thheir hopes for him were so strong that they named him "FORMIDABLE". THis word has the same meaning i French as it does in English.
However, the little guy did not develop and live up to his heavy and powerful name. It became a joe and teasing point for all the other children in the village. Since he was not pysically strong as his name might have implied, he was subject to constant persecution from the other kids. AS he grew older, the disdain with which he was treated continued. When he reached the age when young men begin to seek a mate, they forecast that no woman would ever choose him as a husband. To everyones suprise, however, he married the most beautiful young women in the village. This started another round of comment among the gossipers - "He will never be able to satisfy such a vital and beautiful young woman!" Again, he surprised everyone by having a very good marraige and in spite of his apparent weakness, his wife seemed quite contented with him.
Finally, he felt that his life was drawing to a close and he gave his wife strict instructions as to
his last wishes. He told her that under no circumstances should his name be put on his tombstone. He said that that name had been a burden to him all his life, a veritable millstone he had carried with him and he did not want it to follow him into the grave. When he passed, he was buried in the village cemetary, and if you were ot go there today, you could see the simple stone marking his grave. The inscription on it reads: "Here lies a man who kept one woman completely happy for over twenty years." If it happens thet there is a Frenchman standing there at the same time, you might hear him say, "Formidable!!"
Being (a seasoned woman) that's how I correct those who say I'm older. It's funny to walk around in the grocery store & have the younger guys wanting my phone number. I get so tickled when I ask them "how old do you think I am?" After the third try; they start off with 32, 40 but rarely if ever end with my correct age which was early 50's. Their eyes widen & I simply say "why don't you just give me your number?" Trying to take the pressure off them. It's refreshing & quite funny.